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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Original poster

In the middle of a medical abortion, can I have a hand hold?

23 replies

orlawhirl · 08/05/2019 11:09

Not in the position to have another baby so having a medical abortion, I'm 8 weeks 5 days so they let me go home to pass the pregnancy.

Took the first tablet yesterday at 9am, absolutely fine and no symptoms.

Took 4 tablets orally today, 9am again, plus an antibiotic suppository, and am now waiting at home. I've had paracetamol and ibuprofen and am laid in bed waiting for something to happen.

I don't feel sad about the situation but desperately want it to be over and am scared of what is to come.
My sister is downstairs in case of emergency but no one knows I've had an abortion, I told them it was a routine checkup. Just feel very alone.

OP posts:

Tinkerbellisnotafairy · 08/05/2019 11:11

Hand hold here. I've been through this, although at 6 weeks rather than 8.

So sorry you're going through this. Have they given you some stronger painkillers in case the cramps are severe?

for you

Tinkerbellisnotafairy · 08/05/2019 11:13

Sorry, I posted too soon.

So sorry you feel alone. Is there not anyone you can share this with - your sister, a good friend, the father? Completely understand if that's not possible though.

I'm so sorry for your situation. It will be ok.

PulyaSochsup · 08/05/2019 11:14

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sounds like a very scary and lonely experience. Is there no way you could confide in your sister?

Would a helpline be better? Maybe the hospital could signpost you that way. I'm so sorry, I'll be thinking of you

Tinkerbellisnotafairy · 08/05/2019 11:20

Also, mine took a while to get going after the second lot of pills (7 hours!). Obviously every case is different, but it might be worth trying to keep yourself busy, even if it's just Netflix / a book / chatting with your sister. Or trying to have a sleep.

Thinking of you OP.

Original poster

orlawhirl · 08/05/2019 11:23

My sister is only 18 and I think she would be shocked and upset as I already have a son she would be confused at me not wanting another child.

When I got pregnant last time before those pink lines even came up I knew I loved and desperately wanted that baby. Now my mental health is bad, recently split from my partner and am weighed down with work studying and parenting, I just couldn't cope with another child. As soon as I found out I was devastated and knew it's not the right time.

Can't tell (recently ex) partner as he would use it as a tool for trying to get us back together. Friends and parents aren't supportive of terminations

I'll be okay once it's over and thank you for caring

OP posts:

Original poster

orlawhirl · 08/05/2019 11:24

I've been having cramps the last hour though they aren't especially painful yet. Couple of small blood clots.

Netflix distraction is a brilliant idea thank you.

OP posts:

Tinkerbellisnotafairy · 08/05/2019 11:36

I'm so sorry OP, sounds like an awful situation. Completely understandable as to why you've made the decision you have.

Will your sister help look after your son today? How old is he, is he at school?

"Good Girls" on Netflix is good fun escapism, and easy to binge watch (well, at least it was for me!).

I hope it passes quickly and not too painfully. Keep talking if you want to

Tinkerbellisnotafairy · 08/05/2019 12:39

Hope you're doing ok, OP

Original poster

orlawhirl · 08/05/2019 13:02

DS is at nursery, my sister is going to pick him up and put him to bed when he's finished so I don't need to worry about that thankfully.

Not too bad so far. Just cramps and small clots. The worst part is the nausea, didn't realise it'd be this bad!

Thanks x

OP posts:

Superscaredx · 08/05/2019 13:23

Hello, I went through the same a week ago tomorrow. I was also 8 weeks and 5 days! I’m not going to lie and say it was easy, but it wasn’t horrific like I’d read. Ibuprofen&paracetamol (they work well together) was enough for the pain for me and a hot water bottle. Just keep going to the toilet even if you just sit on there for a while, that’s how I found I passed most clots and it was over quicker. You’ll get through it and be fine! I had mine on the Thursday and on the Saturday I went into town and walked round all day but I couldn’t of on the Sunday as the bleeding really differs, it will be lighter somedays and then the next day it’ll go back to being heavy which happened on Sunday. I had a shower and passed a clot when I got out of the shower, I don’t know if the heat relaxes the muscles maybe? but I knew something needed to come so I got a shower and it came out quickly after the shower. Also..no one speaks about the emotions afterwards and I honestly really struggled with how I felt. I’m not as bad as I was the first few days but I still feel sadness so you are not alone with your emotions and from what I’ve read online it’s perfectly normal to feel that way keep us updated or if you have any questions just ask xx

Tinkerbellisnotafairy · 08/05/2019 14:05

Glad you've got your sister to help with your DS.

Hope you are feeling better and the nausea passes soon. It was really bad for me too, and I suffered with really bad morning (all day!) sickness as well beforehand.

Stay strong OP, you've got this.

Original poster

orlawhirl · 08/05/2019 17:31

Well it's now been 8 hours, I've had a second lot of paracetamol but to be honest the cramps are nothing like I thought. Less painful than period pain. Every 15 minutes or so I feel a rush of blood and have to nip to the loo and a few large clots come. No pain.

I'm really sorry if discussing this is triggering for anybody but I know I would have liked to read something like this last night when I was worrying so much. The stories online are horrific.

OP posts:

Superscaredx · 08/05/2019 17:39

Yes! I totally understand the rush of blood feeling then the clots. Glad your not having such a hard time and not pain

NabooThatsWho · 08/05/2019 17:42

Hand holding OP. You seem to be coping well.

surrealreal · 08/05/2019 20:46

Hope you're ok orla I kept expecting the pain to kick in but it didn't.

Original poster

orlawhirl · 08/05/2019 21:36

I'm good! DS soundly in bed and booked into nursery again tomorrow, I've got a day off to just relax which I think will be nice.

To be honest I'm amazed by the experience. Nothing like what I was expecting to the point where I'm worried I may not have passed the entire pregnancy. Probably had 6 or 7 big clots and a rush of blood around 10 times. The nurse told me to expect to fill a pad every half hour through the day - I've only used 3. although I have bled a lot it hasn't been painful and just paracetamol got me through fine. Sick feeling gone also.

Sounds awful to say but... All in all it's been a positive experience. As good as could be hoped with something so awful, does that make sense? I was expecting so much worse.

OP posts:

EventsSwansea1 · 12/01/2021 19:45

Hi I know this is a old post but I am nervous to take the tablets at home I have put it off for another week now mor nervous of the pain. Help

winterbegone · 12/01/2021 20:06

@EventsSwansea1 The pain, providing you take painkillers is like fairly strong cramps nothing as bad as labour pains. You will manage, just lie in bed all day if you need to, the first 6 hours (may vary) is uncomfortable but you should be up and about by the second half of the day. I took mine at 8.30am and I was cooking dinner by 5.30pm.

EventsSwansea1 · 12/01/2021 21:31

Thanks so much for your help I found out 6.5 weeks waited a week for my appointment now had the medication for 6 days as I wanted to think and was then panicking over the pain ahead as I am anxious anyway I have a 15 month old so wasn't planning another yet im really just nervous but I have made the decision now to go ahead but I'm around 8 weeks and now wishing I did it at 6.5 but I wanted to make sure it was the right decision iv read so many horror stories I am hoping I will manage at home with some cocodomol ...thanks so much for your reply during covid I have no support and my anxiety is through the roof x

EventsSwansea1 · 12/01/2021 21:34

How far gone were you and how did you find passing everything sorry if this is too much to ask. You are so kind to reply x

winterbegone · 12/01/2021 21:51

@EventsSwansea1 I was 6+2 the clots I had were nothing more than a cm, quite a lot of blood, I have heavy periods anyway but still didn't flood a pad. This was last Friday, I'm still using maxi pads now and may continue for up to 2 weeks a bit like post natal bleeding but no pain after the first few hours.

You will get through it and most people say it's not as bad as it they imagined it to be, it's the fear of not knowing.
I think you were wise to wait and only take the tablets if your sure as there is no going back after the first x

EventsSwansea1 · 14/01/2021 14:14

Thank you.
I have just put the second ones in ... Currently laying in bed watching Netflix I feel relieved that there are going to be no more sleepless nights and anxiety attacks after this. I never in my life thought I would ever have to this but with a 15month old I know I want to focus on her and not have the baby stage again right now. I feel ok so far but know it's not started yet lol. Hope I can manage the pain ..... I will keep you posted ☺️

winterbegone · 14/01/2021 15:53

@EventsSwansea1 how are you doing? Just lie in bed for a few hours to get through the cramping stage, I didn't think the pain was too bad, I took co codolmol every 4 hours and ibuprofen and only felt strong period pains, I wanted to be near by bathroom to check on it but other than that I think I got through it better than I thought i would.

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