So so confused. Maybe just need a hand hold?

[Liv234]

It’s a long story but I posted on here previously.

With my boyfriend for 5 1/2 years, took 1 year to get pregnant and then he cheated on me and said he didn’t want to be with me.

We took a couple of weeks and literally the day before I was booked for a medical termination he decided he wanted to keep the baby and stay with me. Looking back I shouldn’t have changed a decision I was so sure about on a whim like this but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

To now - I am about 14 weeks pregnant and he’s “not sure anymore”. I’ve kind of decided I’ve had enough of making excuses to stay with him while he continues to look at what could go wrong.

I’ve had two scans and am not even remotely excited about this baby, I’m still squeezing into old clothes as I can’t bring myself to buy anything pregnancy related. I don’t want to bring a child into a single parent family and I don’t want to be with him.

My biggest problem is that our families know (his parents don’t like me so I’m not really bothered about their opinion) but I would have to tell my family I had a late miscarriage as no one would support me in this. I also have no one to come with me which doesn’t really bother me for the procedure but I’ve read that with general anaesthetic they won’t let you leave by yourself.

Sorry for the long post and I don’t really even know why, I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance that I can do this? Appreciate any input at all!

If you feel that you need to go through with it then that's probably the best thing for you. Wish I could give you a hug. If I was in the same position I'd be having the termination. Do you have to have a general?

@azulmariposa I think as I’m so far along I don’t have any other options. I was booked in for 13 weeks last time and told that would be my final opportunity to be awake. I will book a consultation and find out then. The way I see it is the actual procedure is only a small part of the whole process.

I'm in a similar position but have sort of decided I'll keep it now. Not particularly thrilled about it though. You can have local anaesthetic, I have had this for a previous termination, however you will be awake for the procedure and it's not particularly pleasant. I think you can also have a medical termination and wait there while the pregnancy tissue passes, then go home. Ultimately it is your decision, forget whatever judgement you think other people may have and concentrate on what is best for you. If you do not think you can do this then you absolutely do not have to. Take your ex out of the equation as he is not reliable and focus on if you think you can or if you want to do this alone. It might be best to book a consultation at an abortion clinic to talk through your options, I know different providers differ slightly in terms of options for terminations. Best of luck, its so hard isn't it, but you will get through this no matter what you decide.

I just read your thread and wondered how you are doing @Liv234?

@Betty thanks so much. I have been on the fence for the last couple of days but he can’t home this evening at 4am stinking of booze and I know he’s been with this other woman. I have decided I don’t want to be tied to him for the rest of my life if he can treat me like this after so long. I had already booked into BPAS for Friday so I will now keep that appointment.

Absolutely terrified and trying to think up a realistic story for my family but I’m really hoping this will bring me peace and I’ll be able to move on.

Hope you are OK @Liv234. I know someone who was in the same situation so your post struck a chord. It was very tough for her but she does not regret not being tied to an unreliable indecisive man. Whatever you chose I am sending you hugs

@Bettythedevil I don’t regret my decision at all. Mainly heartbroken at the breakup but aware it is right in the long run. I hope you’re friend is okay!