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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Original poster

Just found out I’m pregnant and I suffer from gad

16 replies

smiftersgirl · 21/04/2019 14:27

Hi I found out I was pregnant last week and went to a clinic but they couldn’t see anything so I have to go back on the 2nd may. I opted to have the surgical where I’d be asleep.
But I suffer from generalised anxiety disorder and my anxiety is sky high at the moment. I have one daughter who is 9 and I had pre eclampsia with her. I’m married and my husband is supportive but my anxiety is awful

OP posts:

Original poster

smiftersgirl · 21/04/2019 14:28

Thank you for support

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HJWT · 21/04/2019 14:31

Excuse me if I am just being stupid but I am confused, what are you being put to sleep for?

Original poster

smiftersgirl · 21/04/2019 14:32

Surgical abortion

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mussie · 21/04/2019 14:36

It sounds like you're having a really difficult time. Can't offer much advice, but here for a handhold! It sounds like you must be very early on if they couldn't see anything first time, so hopefully that means it should be a simple procedure for you. Is there anything in particular you're anxious about?

Original poster

smiftersgirl · 21/04/2019 14:39

Hi mussie
I very nervous about my mental health afterwards. I have imagined having it but then felt sick at the thought of going through pregnancy again and what if I get depression then.

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Wheretoturnnext · 21/04/2019 15:20

I had a termination due to severe anxiety/depression. It's such a horrendous situation to be in. I couldn't see any good outcome whatever choice I made. But I felt that continuing would have made me very unwell and I couldn't face the impact that would have on my family. You can only make what feels like the best choice for you and your family now. And always remember that's what you did, you can't ask any more of yourself. I do feel guilty that I was even in that situation, but don't regret my decision because it was the best one for my family.

Original poster

smiftersgirl · 21/04/2019 15:25

Can I ask if you were ok after the procedure. Or did it make your anxiety worse.
I feel like I’ve only known a week but because I’m so focused on what’s in my head that I’ve not paid my daughter as much attention

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Wheretoturnnext · 21/04/2019 15:41

I was just the same, very quickly I started to shut down and couldn't function, my daughter really stopped engaging with me and it broke my heart. I got to the point of not being able to leave the house, it had to stop.

I had a medical and was very lucky, no pain at all and was just like a period. I just felt relief afterwards and for me the anxiety went when it was over. I have had some tough patches since (was 12 months ago) and did have some free counselling through work that helped reassure me that my reasons were valid, and for me at the time it was the right decision. I know lots of people obviously suffer regret afterwards, but not everyone. Be kind to yourself.

Wheretoturnnext · 21/04/2019 16:05

Sorry, meant just the same as in how relationship with DD was being affected. Anxiety was greatly reduced after procedure.

Original poster

smiftersgirl · 21/04/2019 16:08

That’s good, I’ve made the mistake of googling and read things about feelings of guilt and depression. I honestly feel
So down about the position I’m in

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Original poster

smiftersgirl · 21/04/2019 16:36

I take 40mg of citalopram already everyday

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whycantIthinkofadecentusername · 21/04/2019 16:42

I have no advice I'm afraid, but as someone who experiences extreme bouts of depression and anxiety, I'll hold your hand too. I hope everything goes well for you.

Original poster

smiftersgirl · 21/04/2019 16:52

Thank you

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Wheretoturnnext · 21/04/2019 17:39

One of the few people I confided in asked if I was 100% certain about my decision - of course I wasn't, I just don't think that's possible. There is no way to predict how you will feel afterwards, it's an agonizing decision. Obviously I didn't feel great afterwards, I was really sad and felt like a failure, why couldn't I do this thing that everyone else just copes with? But I was unwell, and my DH was terrified about what was happening to me and told me that he and DD just needed me to be ok, that mattered more than anything else.

I also read so many stories about regret and depression, but I do think those who have those terrible experiences are more likely to speak up and tell their stories as they understandably reach out for help. Those who manage to get over it more easily and feel relief more than anything may never tell anyone their experience.

Wheretoturnnext · 02/05/2019 13:44

@smiftersgirl Hope you're doing ok .

Desmondo2016 · 02/05/2019 13:53

Good luck whatever you decide. I got pregnant in 2016 at a time when I was suffering GAD alongside a complex disordered eating habit which was linked to my mental health. My anxiety was pretty rubbish during my pregnancy and inwas petrified of PND but for me it turned out to be my cure. It was AMAZING, my husband said that as they lifted baby out of me he literally saw my anxiety lift. It never came back. I was tiptoeing around my fear of PND for a few weeks and it just never came. My mental health went from strength to strength. Have you made your final decision re the termination. I've only told you my story to show things don't always work out as we expect.

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