I decided to have an abortion a month ago today although in my heart it wasn’t what I wanted to do.
I was in a toxic relationship with a man I didn’t want to be tied to for life and I started to get really depressed when pregnant and couldn’t get out of bed so I started struggling running my business and although at first I thought I’d be able to manage on my own my business then fell into difficulties and the depression got worse so I knew I wouldn’t be able to continue. I feel really traumatised by the whole thing and still feel so depressed, I feel like I’ve let myself and that baby down and I just can’t figure out why I got so bad when it was supposed to be a happy time. I was so happy when I first found out then everything just spiralled out of control, I should have been stronger. I’ve been crying everyday and not even wanting to get out of bed! I’m usually a happy person and very resistant but I feel this has knocked me down so hard I can’t get back up :( I know it’s still early days and I have excepted that I had to make that choice but I can’t shake these feelings I just want to feel like me again!