Hello,
Firstly so sorry you're going through this, it really is difficult to get your head around.
I've had an abortion, my advice would be speak to BPAS and ask to speak to someone who can explain everything to you.
You're more than welcome to DM me if you want.
So much has surprised me, I never thought I'd ever go down that road, but circumstances meant there was little choice. When you get to the clinic, I'd got so many misconceptions that proved to be false.
In the waiting area it was mostly couples, with the man supporting his partner. There was avast array of people of all ages.
I feared the idea of protestors outside the clinic, but none at all.
Staff at the clinic were superb, although I did wonder whether they should be compulsory counselling. I say this as another woman I met in the discharge room, it was very quiet, she said it looks like you were all braver than me. Only problem being, the drugs used, if you did chance your mind, there's arise to baby.
There's various methods, all depends on how far gone you are. They will scan you as a matter of course to get the right dates, as it affects methods used.
The medical abortion is where you take tablets, some vaginally to soften the cervix, you'll pass baby a bit like a miscarriage. There's pain relief, plus there's a mixture of nurses and midwives who help you.
The surgical abortion depends how far gone you are. They give you tablets to insert vaginally, then it's another 3 hour wait before you get the procedure done. You can have a local in your cervix, sedation or full blown anaesthetic. I went for the full anaesthetic. In 10 minutes you're coming around, then you go to a different recovery area, they check pulse / BP etc. Then they ask you to check your pad so they know what the blood loss is like. Once the recovery staff are happy, you go to a private room where you have to eat toast / biscuits with a hot drink. Then as soon as they're happy with that you go to another waiting room, that's where partners go if you have surgery. Then again it's a bit more of await, you get given anti biotics, plus pain relief to help.
I did it the surgical way, I wish I had chose the medical route, but that involves an over night stay near the clinic. A benefit of the surgical route is the bleeding is barely there, but you do feel bruised afterwards. I've had quite a few miscarriages, so I knew the bleeding and passing the placenta even at 7/8 weeks can be a bit scary. Early on you can't really see anything. Even later on, the staff are discreet, so you can look if you want, or they'll make sure / try their hardest to make sure you see nothing. The bleeding with a medical termination is likely to be heavier and longer time wise.
That's another option if you want to take it with you to bury should you wish.
Ultimately it's your decision, I would say I don't think there ever is a perfect time to have children. My pregnancy was unexpected, so I was one of the older patients there getting treatment. I was going to put I guess it depends how your relationship with your OH is like, but many a woman and even men make excellent single parents.