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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Can’t decide

4 replies

Pizzaaddict · 28/03/2019 07:27

Please can someone help me make sense of this. I am 30 with a ten year old and 11 month old (I am with the father of my youngest). Just (few days ago) found out I am pregnant again despite being on the pill. No idea how far along.

I always thought I’d never ever terminate a pregnancy and horrible as it is, I have judged those who have told me they have had terminations (judged inside I would never make someone else feel bad). I don’t want to terminate. But I don’t see how I could have another. We are in a two bedroom flat, up flights of stairs. My older son goes to school in another area so we have to do the two bus journey twice a day which is already a struggle. I just can’t imagine it with a newborn as well.

But I can’t imagine going through with the termination (which is booked for Monday). I will never forgive myself. Either way my life is ruined now. I’ll either suffer mentally with the new baby as I struggle already, or I’ll feel deep regret for killing my baby (sorry to put it like that as I don’t want to upset anyone who has had a termination but this is how i am seeing it) and I worry the rest of my life will be ruined.

My partner says he will do whatever I choose but he has been useless with our baby so although he will go along with what I decide, I’m not expecting much practical support either way. As it is, I have to go to the termination appointment alone as he is too scared to ask his boss for time off.

OP posts:
Pizzaaddict · 28/03/2019 07:29

Literally sitting in tears, I have to leave for the school run soon and I am sitting in a dressing gown, baby not ready. I just can’t muster the Energy. I feel physically sick at myself and my weakness

OP posts:
olderthanyouthink · 28/03/2019 07:34

OP I'm so sorry you're going through this I'm not sure I could cope with having an abortion either, when I found out I was pregnant by accident the idea of it became a non option but I can't imagine how awful it is for you as you have other children to consider.

Can you tell a friend so you can have do more real life support?

Pizzaaddict · 28/03/2019 07:40

I have told my best friend who has been supportive. I told my mum despite knowing she would do her best to convince me to terminate, which she has done. Wish I hadn’t told her anything.

OP posts:
Angelinthenightx · 28/03/2019 12:00

Hi i found out i was pregnant 3wks ago and was the same as u not sure what to do,ive desided to keep mine ,days im ok and other days im upset, we got a scan at 7wks and saw the heartbeat so that kinda made me know i couldnt have a termination,i did look online and it did scare me doing that. Its a hard choice to make , i also have other children and a disabled child so i know what your feeling,do what u want not what your mum tells u x

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