20 weeks, is it too late?

[CantRainAllTheTime]

I am going to be a long parent to five children come June. Four of which are aged 9 and up. This pregnancy was unplanned, the father and I have recently split up and I just don't think I can do it all again on my own. I am so stressed, Ive just massively overreacted about toilet roll to my kids, before locking myself in the bathroom and crying my eyes out. I was up all last night throwing up so have had hardly any sleep. I'm snapping at the kids, can't stand my dogs just now, their licking and neediness is just driving me mad.

I just want to feel myself again. I love this baby and I have already bonded with him but I feel like if I have him, I am risking my other children and their welfare. I don't know what to do.

Hi.
I'm so sorry your feeling like this. Well done for reaching out for support. I can totally understand where your coming from.
You say your older kids are over the age of 9 what are their ages?
I do believe you've answered your own question though. You said you've already bonded with the baby and live them already...... then you just keep going. Yes it's going to be hard, yes you will have times where you feel your suffocating, yes you will think you can't do it. BUT YOU CAN!!
I'm a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. God has blessed you with another child for a reason. God has chosen you to be mummy to this baby and no one else. I'm in a similar situation to you with my third baby. I have also questioned myself "can I do this" will my other children miss out? Am I doing the right thing etc...... but like I say things happen for a reason and one day you will find out that reason!
We all have bad days and right now your vulnerable. Being a mum and carrying a baby is bloody hard work! Give yourself a break.
Have you any family friends that can help with the children so you can have some alone time?
What is your main worry right now? Xxx

Hey. You can do this. You're already doing it. Pregnancy can be utterly shit, especially when you already have other children to care for. I'm always far more snappy when I'm hormonal, and being sick and tired on top of that is hell. I'm in a happy relationship now and pregnant with my fifth baby but I was on my own with four for a while and sometimes I actually miss those days

Sorry if I'm not much help xx

You CAN do this. But you don’t have to have this baby if you don’t want to. It’s not too late, but you might have to travel (only a few anaesthetists and surgeons carry out late surgical abortions.
It doesn’t sound like you want to terminate though lovey. Just that you’re worried.
You sound like an utterly fab mum, just take it a day at a time ❤️

Thank you for the replies, my head has been all over the place and I came down with the sickness bug.

I have come to a decision, I can't terminate this baby. I love him already and I would never be able to cope with having terminated him.

So now I am having a day to pull myself together, then from tomorrow it will be action stations. Time to start preparing my home, my finances and so forth for being a lone mum to five.

Glad to hear from you @CantRainAllTheTime and that you've made a decision. I'm sure you won't regret it when he's placed in your arms xx

Good luck @CantRainAllTheTime, you can and you will raise this baby just fine. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, and I wish you all the best

You can do this. But if you don't want to then that is alright too.

Do you have money? Will work/childcare be a problem?

It is your choice OP.