Please help me decide what to do

[helovesmehelovesmenothelovesme]

Hi all, I posted this in pregnancy but didn't get any response and I can now see that's not the correct place to have posted!

I had fertility treatment to have DD who is now 18 months old and had planned to have more treatment later this year to hopefully have a second baby (we tried for a long time unsuccessfully to have DD due to me and was told it would not be possible naturally). I was feeling unwell so did some tests which came back negative, but 1 week ago today, got a positive test which was a huge shock.

Relevant background is that DD had significant issues picked up on the 20 week scan which I struggled to deal with & had a huge toll on both DH & I. We don't think we could go through this again. DD's issues are "one of those things" with no known cause & after a rocky start, she's doing amazingly now.

Back to the current situation- what would have been pre conception and the week following, I took prescribed medication which are linked to birth defects. I stopped about a week before finding out I was pregnant (unrelated, I just wasn't needing them anymore), so at about 3-3.5 weeks pregnant ie. 1 week post conception approx) . I've spoken to a clinic and am very torn/unclear about what to do. I don't know the exact risks given that they were taken so early (? I don't think there is a shared blood supply that early) but I really don't know. There isn't a lot of research on the medication to know exact figures and I have tried to find out more but not really got anywhere with anyone I've spoken to. We are torn between not taking the risk of ending up back where we were this time 2 years ago with a 20 week scan showing severe abnormality (only this time, I'd have the guilt that it was potentially my fault) or terminating (I think I am around 5 weeks now). I also haven't been taking folic acid (I did start last week until we come to a decision).

I really don't know what to do. DH is of the view point that given the risks and what we've been through, it's not worth taking chances as it's so early on. I shared this but I keep having niggling worries and don't want to regret whatever decision I make as we don't actually know how big the risk is. If one day, I learn the risk was minimal, will I be angry at myself? Anyone who has any thoughts/advice/experience, please share. I'd be so grateful of anything. I'm not telling anyone IRL as we had some very unhelpful opinions from family with DD which I found very upsetting so we only have each other to discuss it with & try to come to a decision. It's not the ideal time & ideally, we'd have waited until the end of the year (lots of work trips etc) but that alone is definitely not enough for me personally to consider termination, it's purely based on the perceived risk of abnormality due to medication.

There will be more information out there, usually anecdotal cases where people have taken certain drugs at certain stages in pregnancy and the company has collated the information. There should also be animal data. If it was me, I'd want to know all the relevant information before making any decision, you need to speak to someone who's knowledgeable in this area.

@whystay thanks for your response. Unfortunately there is very limited information out there with very very few studies, of which have very different findings & none of which were done at this early stage. The drug is therefore considered "class C". It's been established that it's risky in the first trimester but at such an early stage, nobody seems to know: I've tried to find out more but it just doesn't seem that enough research has been done, specifically this early in, to really know about this exact drug. I've done a lot of research and made a lot of calls & haven't gleaned much clarity

That's really difficult, I really feel for you. Are you based in the USA as 'Class C' is a category used mainly in the USA? I'm assuming you've gone to a specialist for advice who will have access to toxicology databases etc which aren't usually in the public domain?

That's really difficult, I really feel for you. Are you based in the USA as 'Class C' is a category used mainly in the USA? I'm assuming you've gone to a specialist for advice who will have access to toxicology databases etc which aren't usually in the public domain?