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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnant and don't know what to do

1 reply

1234567890abc · 27/11/2018 23:35

Hi, I am seven weeks pregnant, I found out a week ago. Before I even found out I was pregnant I had broken up with my ex, it wasn't a healthy relationship. When I found out I called him and told him, he immediately said he wants me to have an abortion, he doesn't feel ready and doesn't want a child in a broken home and I can't afford to have a child alone. A day later he then tells me if I continue with the pregnancy he will kill him self because I will ruin his life, and then the day after that he tells me he wants nothing further to do with me and doesn't want me in his life and I haven't heard from him since. Financially I am in debt, I am currently staying at my mums to try and clear this debt, but I couldn't stay here if I continue with the pregnancy. I am legally not allowed to do my job when pregnant and if I had the baby I would be a single parent so couldn't go back to work. So everything my ex says is right, I would be bringing the baby into a life that isn't great. So on paper every part of me agrees I should get an abortion. But I've never personally agreed with abortion unless for medical grounds, I don't judge that others get it for what ever reasons for them selves I'm glad they have the option but for my self I have never seen my self having one but then I've never been pregnant and been in this situation either. I have always wanted children, I come from a large family. But I never wanted to have kids without having a husband, a house, being financial secure, so have yet to have kids but now here I am in the exact position I never wanted to be. I am 34 and a part of me wonders if I had an abortion will I regret it, especially if I ended up never having the chance again to have children. I just can't seem to make a decision, I know what I should do what is best. But I feel selfish and a horrible person. And also so angry at the moment and so disappointed in my self for getting in this situation. I don't have friends because my ex was so controlling and I am not that close to my family either. So I really feel alone making this decision and I don't want to be judged or to be a disappointment so I feel I can't tell anyone.
I just don't know what to do and I keep reading messages but no one seems to be in a similar situation. I have been to see the doc and been referred to Bpas and have an appointment in a few days to talk to someone and have the initial consultation, and if I go ahead they say I should be able to get an appointment for an abortion the week after.

OP posts:
vdbfamily · 01/12/2018 09:25

Did not want to read and run OP and sorry re your current circumstances. It seems from what you are saying, that you might regret ending this pregnancy. Babies are pretty resilient if they have love and food and if you can provide these things, baby will be okay. Do you have any support other than your mum? Why don't you visit CAB for advice as to what support you would be entitled to. If in your heart of hearts you want this baby, then you need to have it and find a way. X

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