Hi, I am seven weeks pregnant, I found out a week ago. Before I even found out I was pregnant I had broken up with my ex, it wasn't a healthy relationship. When I found out I called him and told him, he immediately said he wants me to have an abortion, he doesn't feel ready and doesn't want a child in a broken home and I can't afford to have a child alone. A day later he then tells me if I continue with the pregnancy he will kill him self because I will ruin his life, and then the day after that he tells me he wants nothing further to do with me and doesn't want me in his life and I haven't heard from him since. Financially I am in debt, I am currently staying at my mums to try and clear this debt, but I couldn't stay here if I continue with the pregnancy. I am legally not allowed to do my job when pregnant and if I had the baby I would be a single parent so couldn't go back to work. So everything my ex says is right, I would be bringing the baby into a life that isn't great. So on paper every part of me agrees I should get an abortion. But I've never personally agreed with abortion unless for medical grounds, I don't judge that others get it for what ever reasons for them selves I'm glad they have the option but for my self I have never seen my self having one but then I've never been pregnant and been in this situation either. I have always wanted children, I come from a large family. But I never wanted to have kids without having a husband, a house, being financial secure, so have yet to have kids but now here I am in the exact position I never wanted to be. I am 34 and a part of me wonders if I had an abortion will I regret it, especially if I ended up never having the chance again to have children. I just can't seem to make a decision, I know what I should do what is best. But I feel selfish and a horrible person. And also so angry at the moment and so disappointed in my self for getting in this situation. I don't have friends because my ex was so controlling and I am not that close to my family either. So I really feel alone making this decision and I don't want to be judged or to be a disappointment so I feel I can't tell anyone.
I just don't know what to do and I keep reading messages but no one seems to be in a similar situation. I have been to see the doc and been referred to Bpas and have an appointment in a few days to talk to someone and have the initial consultation, and if I go ahead they say I should be able to get an appointment for an abortion the week after.