To tell the dad?

[dancingqueen345]

Hi ladies

After a fair bit of soul searching I have decided to have an abortion this Friday. I am 11 weeks.

I was dating the father very briefly (2 months) and we broke up before I found out. Break up was nothing dramatic, just not for me.

Should I tell him? I only ask because the doctor I have just seen has said they recommend telling the father (even though it would be completely my decision). He's a nice guy so I think he'd be supportive/help out logistically on Friday if I asked, but I feel like it's a bit selfish to send him on an emotional rollercoaster when he doesn't need to.

Any opinions?

Seems cruel to me to say anything.

Oh hi x, I’m pregnant but aborting the baby. Have a nice life

No I wouldn’t say anything, you’ve made your choice as is your right but why potential cause him upset

I would. You may welcome the support on the day.

I wouldn't. If you need support an ex who's baby you have decided to abort isn't the person to seek it from

I'd say he may be exactly the person you'd look for support from, particularly if you don't want to tell friends and family yet.

Thanks all. I do understand where those of you saying it's unfair are coming from, and that was my initial thought too, if was only with the doctor saying they recommend it that I wondered if it was unfair not to tell him!

I wouldn’t as long as I had other support from someone close.

I wouldnt either. Unnecessary hurt to cause someone. You have chosen to terminate, your body-your decision but if you are not allowing him to have a choice in that then there is no point in telling him what you are going to do. What if he decides he does not want you to terminate? Will you change your mind??

@Jasperoonicle fair point. I'm 99% sure he would want me to have an abortion but until faced with it who knows.

I just think that if you have made a decision and are final about it then there is nothing to be gained by telling him. Maybe I am cold hearted though!

No. He doesn't know you're pregnant - why tell him and then add that you're aborting. The idea that you'd tell him this , and then ask for logistic help to get it done.....no sorry I wouldn't go there at all. The doctor's advice is nonsense.