NHS surgical or medical? Advice please

[NC15]

Had a positive test yesterday morning. Will be 4 weeks exactly.

Absolutely distraught. I am already suffering from PND (DS2 is 10 months), PTSD from his birth, severe health anxiety and a chronic pain issue that I am undergoing a number of tests for.

I'm absolutely petrified, and just want this to be over. I don't know what will happen, or how it will happen, or which option to choose. I just want this to be over. Im terrified of a surgical procedure but after having a PPH I'm also terrified of the medical route too.

I'm booked in for a consultation on Monday at my local NhS hospital. If I went somewhere like BPAS would the wait be less? Am I likely to wait longer for a surgical?

Despite knowing I can't continue this, I'm absolutely gutted. It's a decision I never thought I'd have to make (we use protection and DP is booked in for a vasectomy) yet here I am. We tried for months for DS2 so this just seems like such a cruel twist of fate and I feel like the most awful person in the world. There's so many women that would do anything to be in my position and here I am just wanting it to be over.

this was me in April. I know how hard it is, but you have to do what is right for you and your family. I called the BPAS helpline and they found my nearest clinic and booked me in for a surgical on the same day as consultation. You will have an internal scan, some bloods done, a chat with a doctor, a quick brief with the anaesthetist then the procedure. The procedure itself is as easy as falling to sleep, you wake up and it's over. Some bleeding will occur for a couple of days then that's it.

I opted for the surgical due to having a similar aged LO as your own and I wanted it to be quick rather than drawn out. If you call the BPAS helpline they will talk you through your options.

Try not to feel guilty or horrible (I know how hollow that sounds) but you are not a bad person I promise

Most terminations are very safe. Medical termination very rarely results in a haemorrhage, in fact it is thought more surgical patients bleed excessively although data isn’t perfect as women go to A&E rather than back to provider.
Surgery is less widely available. Medical at your early stage means two tablets ideally taken up to 72 hours apart but BPAS encourages simultaneous administration. Taking tablets at the same time is much more efficient for both parties but has a higher complication rate (mainly enduring pregnancy). The risk remains very low though.

Call the central BPAS number and see when you can have an appointment.

I get scared of the bleeding even during a normal period. It's silly really.i also have low iron, would that effect anything?

I'm already having bad stomach cramps and panic attacks

Do you have to have the surgical under GA? I would prefer local only as sedation makes me have panic attacks!

The advice I have been given from Marie Stopes is that before 10weeks a GA or sedation isn’t necessary for surgical but you must be confident in your pain threshold as you will feel discomfort.

I’m 7 wks and having light sedation. They said I’d fall asleep and wouldn’t hear/feel anything but it would only be for 10 minutes. I’m still worried about losing control and the risks but I’m desperately trying to keep a lid on those feelings as there are risks with all of my options right now.

12-18 weeks may require an extra medical procedure to dilate the cervix beforehand and requires sedation or GA.

19-23 requires the two-step procedure and a GA.

Hope that helps. x

Thanks @BukowskisSandwich sorry you're in this situation too.

So you've opted for surgical? What made you decide that? I'm still really torn

Just called Marie stopes and have consultation this afternoon

Everyone’s experience is different but I opted for surgical for a few reasons. First was that I have reacted badly to the drug they use before (extreme vomiting, diarreah, pain worse than actual childbirth, jaundice due to a liver condition) but this is because I am particularly sensitive to medication due to my liver. There are plenty of stories on this board about people who had an experience no worse than a bad period. It might be helpful for you to browse through the threads.

Second, the Marie Stopes clinic is an hour away from me and they give you the pills and send you home, meaning I would be in the car when it was all happening (with potential vomiting etc too).

Third, I needed extra care last time and I would prefer to be in the hands of a medical professional rather than judging myself whether I was ok or not and whether it had worked as I’ve had awful anxiety recently, particularly concerning health.

That’s great, MS we’re fantastic when I had my consultation. Don’t be afraid to ask them anything. Hope it goes well and you feel better informed later today.

God I'm petrified. Keep having panic attacks.

I'm breastfeeding too.

I've spoke to the drugs in breastmilk service and they have said safe but avoid for 4 hours incase of the runs in DS but still feel so guilty.

MS offer counselling before and after, which you might find beneficial.

It’s not a nice decision to have to make or experience to go through but you have to make the right choice for your self and your family.

Can you express in advance of the procedure so you’re stocked up for the 4 hrs?

Take care of yourself and try to relax a bit and breathe. Everything is in hand and you should feel more informed after your consultation.

He doesn't really feed too much anymore, during the day at least so he will be good for the 4 hours anyway.

Woke up this morning with bleeding and cramps.

Tested with FMU and negative...