Another no.3 thread

[rainbowpony]

39, DD7, DS4.

Now 5 weeks and wondering if we do this or not. Stupidly, it was a point of discussion for months and we weren't preventing the situation, but having been careless we are now panicking, just a little. DH perhaps more worrisome than me.

Main worries is how we afford our comfortable lifestyle and the choices we've been lucky enough to make with another.

It would be an absolute joy and adventure. I would relish in having a 3rd, it would make us very happy, but we admit liking the financial security we have and another would cause a serious re-think on some life choices. We both work full time, reasonably intense jobs (our careers are a major part of life we enjoy too) and have good childcare set up and wonderful supportive families.

I don't know what is going to help me make a decision and embrace it happily!

Have had a termination before so I know what it all involves. This will be our last chance tho, the decision feels so final.

Help.

I have 3. Best thing I did.

Only you can make the decision. My third came along when my children were 6 and 9 so similar to you. I will admit that life did get harder. Finances are tighter. Things that would have been easy with having just the two older ones are now more difficult. He's amazing, obviously, and I wouldn't be without him. The children adore him and it's lovely to see those relationships flourish. Having a sibling definitely enriched their lives. It's not all a bed of roses though.

Same here, 32 weeks with number 3 after contraception failure (but like you lots of discussions about a 3rd).

I won't lie things will be financially harder. I'm going to become self employed to make things easier for us financially.

I have also previously had a termination and I can't have one again - emotionally.

The thing is, by the time mat leave ends dd2 will be entitled to free 30 hours childcare which will mean we have no childcare costs. Once the 3rd starts school by earning potential will go up too. So we'll have a tougher 3/4 years after mat leave but there are areas we can cut back in the interim.

Here's the one thing I have learnt about finances. They're not static and anything can change them. You can only ever plan for the hear and now. I say that having already cut down my hours from FT to PT - something I never thought we could afford.

Only you know what is best but consider the fact that you were already thinking about having a 3rd.