I think I'm making the right decision

[Pls19]

Hi all,

I'm 25 and a single mum to my 3yo DS. His father unfortunately has never had any contact and I don't claim any money from him.
I was in a new relationship for 9/10 months until I ended it a month ago. We found out I was pregnant again after a MC and he was very unsupportive.
With the first pregnancy he was scared (as was I) but baby was wanted and he was supportive.
This pregnancy felt different from the get go but I kept an open mind as I'm aware my emotions are all over the place and we fell pregnant again very soon after MC.
He made it clear from day 1 that he wanted me to have an abortion this time round, was very passive aggressive with me whenever I mentioned the pregnancy and showed me no care/sympathy when struggling with symptoms. (I have been quite ill)
I ended the relationship as these aren't the qualities I want/need in a man and we had underlying issues anyway..

I have come to the decision that I want to terminate the pregnancy. I struggle with my MH, only work part time and would be a single mum to 2. I feel that continuing with the pregnancy would be detrimental to my health and most of all to my son.

I feel awful that I have made this decision however I'm 95% sure it's the right decision for my son and I.
Attended an appointment with Marie Stopes on Weds for a medical abortion however I am too far gone for this option. They dated me at 10w 3d. This has thrown me as I am a lot further gone than expected and I'm struggling to come to terms.
I remember at this stage with my son I was over the moon, couldn't wait to announce etc. Now I just feel sick to my stomach at the thought of having another child under these circumstances. I'm starting to really despise myself for getting myself into this situation!

I have a surgical abortion booked for tomorrow at 1:45 and I'm petrified. I'm not entirely sure what the point of this post is, just needed somewhere to offload I suppose!

Hope you are ok op

I'm sorry you're going through this. I have no experience but you sound pretty sure and it sounds like the right decision. Good luck with everything.

Bless your heart, it's a hard decision, but you I think have made the right one. Take care and be kind to yourself. It's very sad but you will be ok, please let us know how you are

Handholding OP Not an easy decision but obviously the right one for you. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible x

If you aren't 100% I would delay. Is the reason financial? If so would you think about starting a claim from your son's dad, and the new baby's dad? It might make things easier.
Plus they should both take some responsibility.
It sounds like the new dad is putting you under a lot of pressure, but you do have some time to think. Big hugs op, you do have choices.

The same happened to me although slightly different circumstances I fell pregnant when dd was 2 and knew instantly I didn’t want to go through with it. Felt completely different to being pregnant first time and I just wanted it to be gone. Hardest thing Iv ever done and beat myself up over it for months after but I know it was definatley the right choice for me. Never told ex about it - we was together 10 years and he still doesn’t know. I hope your ok x

A sad situation. You will get over it in time and I hope your life is happier in the future.