How do I decide to have an abortion or a baby?!?!

[smoesandflowers]

Hey everyone, I'm looking for some advice please, here's the situation...

I'm 27, I hooked up with a guy at a friends wedding about a month ago and just found out I'm pregnant about a week ago. The condom broke and we didn't realize until it was too late but I took the morning after pill immediately that next morning, so this was obviously unplanned. He was a perfectly nice guy but I really don't know anything about him and, on top of everything, he lives in another country super far from me. I haven't told him anything yet because I feel like I should make the decision myself first. I have a bunch of supportive family and friends, an ok job and my own apartment with a couple roommates so, other than this, my life is fairly chill at the moment.

The major issue I'm having is that I'm in the process of applying to medical school and I'm scared that having this baby so randomly will force me to one day drop my dreams of becoming a doctor. I could postpone school by a year and I'd be starting school with a 1+yo baby. Has anyone done school with a baby with (most likely) no partner support?

I feel like the logical thing to do would be to have an abortion and go back to my normal life and just forget about it. But honestly I'm worried that my heart won't let me go through with it. Though, I'm scared that if I keep the baby I'll end up ruining all my plans bc of this unplanned situation. I'm scared I'll regret it either way, how do I even decide such a thing?!

I'm so torn, every other minute I change my mind, I'm going crazy and I cant think about anything else. Please, any productive, helpful advice would be extremely appreciated, thank you!

Bless u ..
I went thru this a few weeks ago..
37 and 2 teenage kids.. got caught out n thought about keeping but hubby and myself r so wrapped up in our careers and the fact that the kids we do have don't really rely on us for instant attention anymore that it would be a humongous step back in our lives that we wouldn't be able to complete future plans..
we did decide to unfortunately terminate and get stuck back into life..
I've been working extra hours and focusing on the kids more then ever after I recovered..
I do say a little prayer asking for forgiveness daily so I'll never really 'forget' but it's just easier to accept that the choice we made is the best one we could have made thinking of the sanity of our family at that time..
This is your choice to make..
Don't be hard on yourself whatever u choose..
Think about where u want yr life to be in a few years time.. would u achieve this with a newborn n time out ..?
Much love

Honestly, in your position I would terminate the pregnancy.

I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it sounds like you have an awful lot going on, career plans that would not necessarily work out with your idea of carrying on with med school when the baby turns 1.

You currently house share and you barely know the guy involved. Really not a great situation to bring a baby into.

It will irreversibly change your life forever if you have the baby and not necessarily in a good way.

I think I would also terminate in your situation. By the sounds of it you'll be a single parent and if you're wanting to go into medicine that will be so hard with a dependant child and no real support.
I really feel for you. I had a similar decision to make once and it was agonising. Unfortunately hindsight is a wonderful thing that none of us have so we just have to make the best decision we can based on the situation. Don't beat yourself up, these things happen... I hope you manage to decide and find peace with your decision.

P.s. I wrote all the reasons I wanted to keep the baby on post it notes and all the reasons I didn't on post it notes. Then I stuck them on the wall and really thought about each reason. It can help to clear your mind

oh Lordy. What a situation to be in.

Honestly, I know what I would do. But I'm not you. Having a baby will irreversibly change your life and your prospects, medical school will be nigh on impossible with a one year old. For what it's worth, I faced the decision with two teenage children at age 40 and ultimately couldn't find enough reasons to terminate. I love the resulting child more than life itself, but it is hard. Really really hard. And that's with two parents and a mortgage and life pretty much sorted. I'm sorry you're in this position, but nobody can really help you with this one, it's such a personal decision. Hope it all works out for the best for you xxx

You don't have to tell him.