Abortion- need someone to talk to

[Selly34]

Hi everyone
Ive decided to get an abortion, im only 4 weeks and have a consultation booked for next week. My family are devout Muslims as are most of my friends, so I can never talk about this to anyone. Im not with the father of the baby, we had a huge argument after he told me he wouldnt drop me off after the procedure.
I ended up telling him to "burn in hell" and that "I hate him". Immature words, but he has been so awful to me. I just feel really lonely since I cant tell anyone.

I’m here. Hand holding. How are you feeling? You’ll be ok

That sounds difficult OP! Well done for telling the father to f off, he sounds like a waste of space.

Would you have a place to go to after the procedure, where you can rest and nobody would be asking any questions?

I had a surgical abortion at 7 weeks pregnant around 10 years ago. Ask any questions you may have.

Thank you for your message. I feel its the right decision, its just I feel really lonely right now. I was talking to the abortion clinic advisor on the phone, and it hit me that a stranger showed me more compassion and kindess than my ex.

Hi there. It may all feel rubbish right now. But you will get over this and you will cope . I had one alone without support and trust me you'll be ok xxx

You are not alone. He has shown his true colours.

I'm sorry he's been such a waste of space when you needed support. Well done for telling him where to go. Keep posting if it helps, there's amazing support here.

May I ask, how did you get yourself home after the procedure?

Thank you all for your kind words, it means so much to me right now xx

Im just worrier about how I will get home. The clinic is about 50 mins from me and for safety reasons I can't drive myself. It looks like I will have to book a expensive taxi service. Im just so angry at my ex, for being so selfish.

I think I got the bus, but it could have been a taxi. I don't really remember, but I do remember feeling the same as you, alone, angry and unsupported.

Hi @Selly34, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this alone.

Just a quick question: are you planning a medical or surgical termination? It might effect how you'd get home

Dh drove me home and I went to bed. Suspect you might need to too. Take care!!

@Cat12321

Im planning a surgical procedure. I want it over with as quick as possible. Also I dont want to my housemate to find it, which she might if I end up aborting at home, using the pill.

I also feel slightly guilty as well. My best friend has been trying for a baby for years, she has been told that her husband is infertile. It feels strange, how different our situations are.

This is about you and what the best decision is for you, try not to heap more guilt on yourself. It's a tough decision to make.

Don’t feel guilty. She has been trying for a much wanted baby with her loving husband. You’ve found yourself in a totally different situation and you’re making the right decision

If you can afford it I would definitely suggest a taxi.

A friend told me at te time of my abortion that by making the decision to abort when I was in my early 20s, I was ensuring that I had a more sorted life for the children I would eventually have when the time was right. I found it comforting at the time.

No advice but just wanted to say you should never feel guilty about this. You are not beholden to anyone else's expectations but your own. Your body is your own. Infertility in others is irrelevant. If your friend had lost a limb would you feel guilty for having not also lost it yourself? You are making the right choice for yourself. It is not bad or selfish. A cousin of mine had to travel to England for an abortion and of course we had to keep it secret, but there is support available for you afterwards if you need it. Whether that be through mumsnet or otherwise, other posters may have some more helpful advice

You feel alone , but remember there are untold women who have been in the same situation as you. I am just one. It is natural to have mixed emotions, but this was an accident and we are fortunate to live in a time where it will not need to dictate the rest of the course of your life. So try not to feel guilty. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and I suspect that you will feel very relieved after. Good luck xx

So feeling really alone, having nobody to talk to, I stupidly messaged my ex. He was so heartless, telling me to basically do one.

I always thought of myself as a confident, together woman. I am above all so angry at myself for giving so much of myself to this man. I keep thinking, how could have let this mistake happen. The pregnancy was both our faults. However his reaction was terrible. I cant help but hope horrible karms befalls him. I want revenge.

I don't blame you for feeling that way. It's deeply unfair of him, but you are better off without him in your life. So much better!

Have a scheduled an appointment yet?

You are still a strong and together woman. These things happen and you will come out of it even stronger than you thought you were.

Thank you for your message @LittleBirdBlues

Yes, I have a surgical termination booked for next Friday. The nurse said that if I have local anesthetic, I can drive myself home. I know it won't be pain free, but since I have nobody to drive me home, I cannot choose sedation or general anesthetic.

I know I am better of without him in the long run. I am just going to focus on my career, when all this is over.

Selly34
I'm also Asian
I went thru this two weeks ago
If u need to offload I'm here
Much love

Hello I had an abortion on the 2nd of June I had the injection straight after which I was told would work straight away.ive been having pregnancy symptoms so I did a test Friday 15th it was light positive so did another Monday was darker then today was darker. I'm confused please any advice would be great thank you