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Pregnancy choices

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Some advice would be wonderful!

4 replies

CWRWCIDU · 16/05/2018 17:48

Hi all,

So this is my situation, me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 years up until December we were renting a house but for a few reasons we decided to take a break which meant I moved back home with my dad. We both realised after the break that we did want to be together so we reconciled... roll on 3 months we’re still not living together and I found out yesterday that I’m pregnant. And I have literally no idea what to do or how to feel about it.
Our relationship is better than ever so that is no problem, what makes me really concerned is the following:

  • we have a lot planned, we’re planning on relocating later this year and in the mean time saving like crazy for a house
  • As my boyfriend works further away than where I work and live I wouldn’t be able to move out of my dads house so would have to hope to god he wouldn’t mind having a baby move in as well!
  • Career wise I’ve just begun a new qualification which will take me 3 years to complete
  • From one thing and another over the years I am in a fair bit of debt which means that being on maternity leave any longer than 6 weeks isn’t an option (no savings to speak of either) In my mind having a baby puts a huge stop to the above. I’m 28 so around the age to be thinking about having a baby but the rest of my life feels so unsettled right now, this is not how I imagined my life would be when I found out I was pregnant! Having said all that, my rational thinking is that if I did decide to have this baby we would manage fine and it’s not its fault that it has been brought into existence but I don’t know if I want “just fine” for my baby and in a really selfish way I had so much planned I wanted to do in the next couple of years before thinking of settling down.

God I’m so sorry, talk about ramblings of a mad man but my head is all over the place at the moment...
I’m not really sure what I’m trying to ask, I have told no one yet so it would just be nice to know if there’s anyone else reading this who is or has been through a similar situation? The only thing that I ask is that there’s no judging, I know above I sound incredibly selfish but that’s how I honestly feel right now!

Thanks xx

OP posts:
LittleBlip · 18/05/2018 11:08

If it's not the right time for you, then it's absolutely ok not to proceed with this pregnancy. You are not selfish at all, you can only make the best decision based on what is happening in your life right now.

I made the decision not to go ahead with a pregnancy when I was 27 and like you, was in a long term relationship, but there were so many other factors to consider. My career being the main one. I just wasn't ready to make the huge sacrifices that come with having a baby.

I do have a child now (several years on) and it really does change your life forever, for good and for bad! It is all encompassing and extremely stressful at times and you don't want the added stress of housing, money, career progression etc.

Only you can make this decision, but please don't feel like you have to go through with it because you're selfish or a bad person. It's your body and your life, so make the best decision for you.

Helpme101 · 21/05/2018 14:27

I'm sorry your going through this so am i

Helpme101 · 21/05/2018 14:31

Can I ask. Did you go through with the abortion?

Helpme101 · 21/05/2018 14:32

@littleblip can you message me please

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