6 years ago today I had an abortion. I think I was around 10 weeks.
Every year on this day I feel awful and cry a lot. I didn't really want to have an abortion and felt really pushed into it, I cried as they were putting me under anaesthetic. So it makes it really hard.
I feel so alone on this day, I don't feel I can talk to anyone because ultimately it was my choice and I went ahead, so I don't really feel like I have the right to grieve either.
The father doesn't remember the date but then he didn't want it so the date wouldn't mean anything to him.
We are lucky, another contraception failure resulted in my DS, people again tried to force me into an abortion but I wasn't doing it this time. They would have been 13 months apart in age and it's difficult as my DS always says he wants a big brother, never a little one.
I didn't know where to post this, I felt beaverement would have been a bit much for those who didn't have a choice, and I'm sorry if it offends anyone in here too. I just wanted to talk.
I don't know if it was the right choice, I'm not sure I'd have had my DS if I hadn't gone through that, I just know it's difficult and it still hurts and I still feel as alone today as I did on this day then.