First appt at BPAS on weds, what to expect?

[rubberducker]

Unexpectedly pregnant with DC4, currently 5 weeks. We hadn't planned any more children and this has come as a real shock. DH thinks it's best if we terminate. I can completely understand where he's coming from but am finding it harder to reach the same conclusion.

I was trying to be practical and not overthink things so booked an appt with BPAS for this week but while I'm still so undecided I really want to know what to expect at that appt. I guess my fear is that once you start the process, you get swept along in it and then if i decide I definitely want the baby it becomes so much harder to say so. I know DH is so practical that if I go to the first appt then he'll think it's a done deal and we'll go for termination. (That is not a criticism, DH is lovely and his view on this pregnancy is primarily down to him wanting us to do best by our current DC).

Can anyone advise on what exactly happens at the first appt, and whether you have to make a definite decision on proceeding then?

I'd also like to know. Must first appointment is tomorrow and I'm feeling extremely anxious and apprehensive.

Sorry to hear you're in the same situation @LMW1990, hope it goes okay for you tmw.

Thank you @rubberducker I'll post what happens tomorrow so at least you know roughly what to expect xx

I don't think you do need to make the decision although will get the opportunity to make an appointment for the procedure. Several people will ask you if you want to proceed and whether you want counselling to decide (I think - I knew what I wanted so didn't get all info). There will be a scan and blood tests. BPAS were fantastic - I can't praise them enough.

Thank you @capercaillie, that's reassuring to know. Still feel so undecided, but scared to keep putting off making the decision as I know it'll be easier if I do it earlier.

As I recall, you will attend a consultation where a nurse will collect some basic information before sending you for bloods and an ultrasound. The nurse will offer you information on your options as well as some written material.

The ultrasound person is scanning you to check your dates and you can ask to see the foetus. You can say no and you will not be shown without your consent.

After this, you will be talked through your options again - surgical or medical. Medical will only be offered up to a certain stage. Depending on the clinic, you may be able to proceed with a medical there and then.

Throughout you will asked if you are sure. Everyone will treat you with kindness and dignity.

Good luck with your decision, whatever your choice.

Good luck with your decision.

I am expecting number 6 and hadn't planned any more. I really was unsure about this pregnancy. I had just got back my figure, fitness, and even a couple of hobbies! I feel isolated and sad at what I feel I'm losing by being pregnant. All my friends have completed their families.

For me , I rang bpas, but I just couldn't bring myself to go there, let alone terminate . That's not a judgement - I have had an abortion before I met my DH , and while I'll always feel a bit sad about it I don't blame myself or think it was the wrong thing to do.

I just think it's harder when you've got kids already and are hardwired to having an emotional attachment to a scan.
It's the pregnancy I wasn't sure about- not the baby- I know that's probably ridiculous. I love babies but I don't want to be pregnant again!!

Anyway I'm just rambling. Good luck. There isn't a right answer. It's whatever's best for you and your family. Xxxx