Scared and feeling stupid

[polkadotrocks]

I don't know what to do.

Just found out I am pregnant. Am a week late.

I am 40. 3 dc's aged 20, 15 and 9. I am divorced.

I work and get tax credits but money is tight.

I am in a relationship but think I would need to consider that I could easily end up a single parent to this baby.

I want to cry. Sorry for sounding pathetic. I can't tell anyone yet as I am reeling. I just needed to write it down.

I have no practical advice, sorry. Just wanted to say that you are NOT stupid

Thank you

I am at work and can't concentrate. I am so worried.

Can you Leave work? Say your sick or something. Go give yourself some time to think...before kids come back from school?

Take time off to look after your mental health. If it was physical health you wouldn't bat an eyelid at going home.

Everything works out in the end, relax. You've got this x

you don't need to have a baby if you don't want to. There are options.

You are not stupid at all, you just need to have a big think about what you want/need to do as you have options. Whatever option you pick will be the best for YOU, nobody else x

I have a full on day today so can't leave.

Of course you can,say you feel unwell. Diahhrea :) (they won't want to catch that) you have had a shock,you need to allow yourself some time to absorb your news

Take your time to process this OP. I'm a similar age to you, and expecting this summer, with a similar age gap between my next child up, who will be nearly 9 when their sibling arrives, so I get the mixed feelings you have, especially if your relationship isn't as secure as you'd like to go into something like this.

You have only just found out so don't rush, and maybe get the older ones to babysit tonight so you can go out and think by yourself, even if you just drive round the corner and sit in the car.

Don't think about you as a couple for now, is this something that you, as a person and the mother, want - can you cover maternity leave, did you think your baby days were done etc. Tell your partner when you're ready to share.

Thinking of you.

I was so tired last night I just went to bed...

I have the weekend to myself so going to think everything through.

I feel so torn...as if by going ahead I will affect my existing children. They will have less of my time, attention and there will be less money.

If I didn't have any other children I would go ahead...I feel guilty to the baby for feeling conflicted. Plus I haven't been taken folic acid and have been out for drinks this month.

OP, there are plenty of women who go out for a drink / spend Christmas eating pate beforethey find out about a pregnancy. At this stage, just start taking folic acid (I didn't take it before I got pregnant either - did the test, panicked and rummaged round under the bed to find an old bottle where we'd been actively trying to conceive and took one before heading off to the chemist to buy more. I think that first tablet had a BBE date of summer 2016) - even the pound shop version does the job if you can get to one.

Make an appointment with your GP for early next week then you've got the weekend to mull on this. It's a big thing if you only have older kids - DH and I keep having moments where we look at each other and remember how crap a sleeper / eater DS was as a baby and think we must be mad to do this again. Think as well, if this went away tomorrow, would you be secretly disappointed or secretly relieved? That will tell you about the conversation you need to have with the GP.

How you doing op? Just seen this thread again, not sure if you'll even see this message but I hope you're doing ok