I can't believe I am writing this. But I am having doubts about how much I want to be pregnant.
It would be baby 6. My husband "thought it would be nice to have another one". I got swept along in the romantic ideal. It was such a nice experience before. Now it's happened - and I realise how hard I'd worked to "get my life back" since number 5(who is just about to turn 3).
I'd put so much effort into losing weight and getting fit. Having a social life and some hobbies. I had a big operation to repair all the damage of 5 natural births, so a natural birth is out- I'd have to have a c-section .
I feel old at nearly 45, to go back to the baby stage. All my friends have completed their families.
Also it's not just about me; I had planned various trips with my daughters (aged 8 & 10), over the next year, including skiing , that will be difficult/impossible.
I feel so much more tired and sick with this pregnancy as well; I really can't function how I need to for my existing children. I have a 6 year old with ASD who needs extra support, and we are building a large extension which is quite stressful (luckily we aren't on site for it).
But it's really the next 7 months I am dreading; I have no fear of having a baby once it's here , I am quite calm with babies, we can afford it, I have a stable marriage (fingers crossed!)
So is it terrible to not be able to cope with pregnancy? Purely for selfish reasons, and letting down my other kids?
Will I then regret it when I'm 80??!!
I'm 9 weeks and have my booking in with the midwife tomorrow. Isn't it terrible to be having doubts now.
Please give me some words of wisdom :(
My husband now agrees we were too hasty. Basically he is fed up of me constantly feeling sick and wanting to lie down and wants me to be back to full energy. Plus we both find our 3yo quite tiring.
Help!!