I'm pregnant. And I'm sad

[PineappleTits]

I found out I'm pregnant. Estimating 5weeks and 4 days from last period. We use condoms as I end up pretty suicidal from hormonal contraception. I have considered the coil, but I'm terribly anxious and I can't get past horror stories of friends and relatives of pain/dislodging etc. We ended up having unprotected sex twice over Xmas/NY period. Drunk off our faces, I know it's stupid and I take total responsibility for being a fucking idiot.

Thing is, I've had an abortion before. I was younger, more of a FWB situation, and I was sure of my decision because he was abusive emotionally and It wasn't a good period of my life. I ended up in counselling (due to the termination and other circumstances) and it took a massive toll on me emotionally - I'm off my antidepressants now and feel like 'me' again.

I now find myself in this situation, with a stable partner, who's caring and loving and financially stable. The circumstances are great to have baby. But We are going to Australia in 4 months, everything has been planned, booked, paid for - at least 1year, it's not a short holiday. After a shitty time in my life it's what's kept me going, what I've always wanted to do. Travelling is what makes me happy, and I'm so proud of myself for paying for myself to see so many amazing places already. If Australia wasn't on the cards, I would 100% keep the baby. But as it stands, I feel like, Will i resent the baby if I keep it? Will I regret not trying want I want to do, forever? I'm scared I will feel like I've missed out on so much I could have done. I know these are questions you can't answer, and I'm not sure what I'm trying to ask MNrs. I just feel so torn, and ashamed of myself for being in this situation again. My partner is 100% behind me whatever decision we make.

I'm 26 if that is relevant. I just feel so alone with my thoughts

Would it not be safe to travel while pregnant?

Only you know how you feel sorry I know that's no help to you.

Hi OP, How long are you going to Australia? What type of things are you planning on doing in Australia? Travel around or skydiving etc?

If you didn’t keep the baby went to Australia had a great time and then in a few years had trouble conceiving would you regret it?

Do you ultimately want a family in the end with this man?

Have you spoken to your partner, does he know you are pregnant?

@chocolatespiders I'm very grateful you took the time to read and respond!

@Mrstumbletap we are planning to do the lot. Travel the country, scuberdive, skydive etc. Have that 'once in a lifetime' adventure. Yes I am very conscious of not being able to conceive in the future, it terrifies me. I would love a family with this man.

Yes he knows. He's the only person that knows. He's very supportive either way, and he is also in two minds like I am. He is 8 years older than me with no children

I guess you have to decide if you are willing to change the ideas you had for your trip and go ahead with the pregnancy.
Maybe be start folic acid in case you do go ahead with the pregnancy.

I have been where you are and had a termination a long time ago I now have two grown up children (grown up term used loosly)

Any more thoughts OP?

Op - I became pregnant quickly after stopping contraception. I thought I'd struggle to conceive (because of previous problems) and we'd planned an amazing holiday (not as long as yours, about 4-5 weeks) for later that year (definitely not heavily pregnant woman/baby friendly).

We cancelled the holiday plans and had the baby (& then more!). We're going to do the big holiday either when when kids are old enough/when they've gone to university (!).

No regrets here, but only you know your situation and what's best for you.