I’m so unsure

[Stacy07]

I’ve been with my partner for a year now, I already have a little boy who is 7. My partner was happy I was pregnant. Was always something he had spoke about and wanted and I felt I wanted this too! Im now 10 weeks. I was happy and excited for the future and felt this would bring us all together but recently my DS behaviour has changed slightly and the relationship with him and his dad is up and down due to his lack of routine with him and stability. My partners planning for our future and I feel like his intentions are all good but recently when he’s been with DS again it’s been like having two children, squabbling and arguing and partner feeling like we are ganging up on him when I try to point out there’s things he shouldn’t say, he isn’t used to children as such and I know behind the stupid things he says and does he means well but it’s just got me so anxious like maybe I’ve just fell into this far too quickly and should have waited although I was sure before! I’m worried how this is going to work and I’m starting to panic! I don’t know if it’s just a learning curve and things will settle but I’ve never been in this situation and I can’t help feeling it was just easier when was just me and DS

Please cut your DP some slack. You say you have never been in this situation before, well neither has DP.
At least you have experience of neing a parent.
You have been together a short time. He has no experience of children and your DS is playing up because of problems with his biological father. On top of this you are pregnant.
I think you should have waited to become pregnant so your DP and son could bond a bit better but whats done is done.
Of course its a learning curve. Its going to be a bigger curve when baby is born.
Sit down with DP over dinner or coffee or even a cup of tea. Just you two no DS and explain how you bring up your son and how DP needs to behave and your expectations.
Do not take your DS side and gang up on your partner.
Discussing parenting is between you two DS should not be included in tnose discussions.
You also need to talk to your son about his behaviour and issues he had with his father.
All the best

Thank you, I forgot to say this wasn’t a planned pregnancy so it wasn’t a decision I had made but yes thought we could make it work although not ideal. Definitely agree and have seen I need cut him some slack and I always go back to that and think he must feel anxious too and wanting things to work and he is trying but it just seems to back fire so I guess he is frustrated also! It’s not an easy situation for him either and I don’t over look this it’s just I’m so anxious about it I’m wondering have I made a huge mistake and looking for reassurance I guess. Maybe your right and I shouldn’t take him aside but I just felt was better to give DS a talking to if u like away for DP as I’m just trying to explain how he should behave and explain situation in his terms and reassure him also without having DP judge as he’s much more firm than me and I didn’t feel he really had to listen to me telling DS to try etc. I guess I’m wondering if his behaviour is down to problems with his biological father or what is going on with him, I’ve been having a hard time settling him into bed etc and I don’t know where the behaviour has came from so I’m worried the baby is going to set things off worse.DPs intentions are good it’s just he says some things and does things I just don’t agree with and treats him very adult like but I guess is about BOTH of them getting to know each other! I do try let DP get on with it, I only step in when I feel something is wrong and I try approach as best I can and just explain it doesn’t go well with my child as he is an over thinker etc, like he said what if ur mummy died. He didn’t see anything wrong with that but I just wanted point out my child over thinks and he’ll build that up in his head.

Thank you very much for reply