Those who regretted it - how did you move on?

[roastandyorkies]

For those of you who have followed my story so far I had the surgical termination with "sedation" earlier this week. It was horrendous, I remember it all and I am regretting it more than anything in my life. I wish I'd been stronger and protected my baby.

I've had to send my son to stay with his dad as I am in no fit state to look after him. I can't hold back the tears and can't see how I am ever going to get over this.

However I know there is no going back now. I need to pull myself together for my boy. Has anyone got any suggestions of things they have done - physical, emotional, functional or otherwise - to help them move on from this?

Im really sorry you are feeling this way, I had my medical abortion a few weeks ago and felt the same, I have a 3 & and a 5 year old, your hormones are everywhere in the first few weeks, its not easy at all, I locked myself away in the bedroom and cried and slept a lot, if u work try and get some time off until ur emotions carm down, I found some numbers on the net to phone and talk to someone understanding. Its really important you look after yourself, its a very very hard choice to make, remember your reasons why, ur just going to need time to heal, it does get better....i am still recovering emotionally, it is hard, I think how your feeling now is normal, I wish I could give you a big hug. X stay strong. Xx

Are you ok? X

I am feeling much better than earlier thank you.

Had to get up as had a doctor appointment to get an implant fitted so this never happens again

Once I was out I felt a bit better so have been for a walk in the park as well. It's going to take time but feel more hopeful of eventually being at peace with my decision x

X glad your feeling better, good to hear u got out. I guess we can only learn and move on & take better care of ourselves and forgive ourselves. X

Ask for counselling.

Time is a great healer and counselling too. Hope you're okay

You're experiencing a pregnancy loss and if you feel you need to grieve you should allow yourself to that. Don't underestimate how crazy your hormones are going now and the effect they're having on you.

Give yourself time. Talk (if you have anyone to talk to, if not maybe seek a counsellor) and grieve. Be kind to yourself. It may take time; that doesn't mean it was the wrong decision.

Dear Roastanyorkies I hope you are feeling a bit better.
I had a termination too, on May 30 this year.
I dont know if I moved on as I started to think about it every day. I do not regret what I have chosen but I am sorry, if that makes sense. One doesnt want to get into such a situation.
Without wanting to seem irresponsible, I cannot help thinking that it is society and religion that makes us feel guilty. I looked into some religions and they all say it is a sin. But who established these religions? Men, who since the establishment of patriarchy found it natural to oppress women and go to war ans mass murder and slaughter mankind. Men should not interfere with this decision of women. It will be hard to take even without their interference. In some countries women dont have this choice. We do. We have a choice about our bodies and ways of life and future. That does not make it easier, I know. But I think if society and religion would leave us alone in this matter, we might feel better. I dont know. Birth is one thing they cannot control so they put a taboo on it.
I made my decision because the pregnancy did not make me happy and other reasons in my upbringing. Afterwards I felt relief but since then I have been feeling slighlty anxious and guilty (in front of myself) and am thinking how I could do something about it to make it better. I think and I have read similar opinions that I only can forgive myself.
I hope you can, too. Big big hugs.

Feather, I get what your saying. We must forgive ourselves. Looking back is not healthy.

Time really is a great healer, but in the short-term grab as much support as you can from those around you.

I had a termination days after my 19th birthday and honestly, I've never truly fully come to terms with it, even now 8 years on - however, I can now see that this was the best choice and I've come to accept my decision. In the weeks after my termination, I received a lot of support from my GP in the form of counselling, sleeping tablets and antidepressants to manage the regret I was feeling.