Feeling down about it all

[Shaia]

Hi guys i could really do with some advice.. i found out i was pregnant 5days ago and just feel really sad. Ive been with my partner 2yrs i honestly love him so much and see him in my long term future that included having a baby.. but recently as in a week ago i was faced with a hearbreak of finding out he had been unloyal for some months of our relationship and made me question him and his motives. Obvs the hurt anger and disapointment hit me hard and i still feel really down about it as this is somone im so in love with and still raw, But only 2days later i found out i was pregnant altho i used emergency contraception, i cried so much a small part of me felt happy suddently protective and instantly strong. At the same time i knew deep down i cant keep the baby, (for so many reasons) ive kept it to myself for few days and I didnt tell my boyfriend until today (been a week now) during the week ive been enjoying the feeling of pregnancy knowing apart of us is in there which i know is odd considering.. that n talking to boyfriend About him being disloyal.. We are trying to overcome n ive been trying to forgive him, our relationship recently has been such a test, we have been faced with some challenges, i know he loves me despite what hes done he treats me good. Right now i dont know if well get through this, it has been such a hard week.. i told him today as i thought it was the right thing regardless n he clearly agrees s termination would be the best thing N deep in my heart i know but why do i feel so down. He says hell be there to support me honestly hes being really caring anf this is not his fault and i shouldnt be angry towards him but i have been Im just so hurt ive closed off myself n pushing him away. I have a telephone consultation tmro i just want this over with now as i feel distressed knowing the future outcome anyway. I have most of the pregnancy symtoms feeling sick and is changing already. The reality is im curious i feel protective over my pregnancy
but i know its best option im just really down i Keep crying. I feel nauseas as i write this. I dont know what advice im asking for I needed to get my thoughts out.

Hello - what an emotional rollercoaster! The heartache about finding about him being disloyal, then the shock of finding out about being pregnant is alot for anyone to deal with. There is rarely the perfect time to have a child, but making sure you are in a strong and stable relationship is a good foundation. You are going to be angry with him for hurting you, and your head will be all over the place but try to focus on thinking with your head, and making sensible choices for the future. I would speak to a Dr. as soon as you can, and perhaps get some councilling, or maybe speak to a trusted friend or member of the family? In order to process your thoughts, and get your head around them you need to express them. Good luck, hang in there and be strong - you can get through all of this

Things will get better they always do. It sounds like you have some of the support you need but talking to more people has always helped me. Don't share it alone and this post is a great step to recovery.