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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Struggling with a decision

1 reply

Caroline487 · 09/07/2017 09:48

Hi all. I'm currently struggling with making a decision regarding my pregnancy. I'm 34, fell for a guy, within first 5 months fell pregnant. He has been going through a divorce at the time, and within a week of finding out about the pregnancy decided to go back to his ex despite of his initial excitement. The ex... is also pregnant with his child...
I have booked an abortion but finding it really difficult to "be ok" with the decision. He clearly stated he wants nothing to do with me or the baby, so I know I'll get no support (including financial - he already found a loophole). I live too far from my family to get any support and raising a child by myself is not something I have ever envisioned doing. The thought of my potential child never knowing their sibling or father absolutely crashes me. I know if I keep it I would struggle, both emotionally and financially, I'd most probably need to make drastic changes including selling my home as I don't think I'd be able to afford paying mortgage while off of work. I know all my plans would at least be placed on hold if not cancelled completely. I know having a child in a situation like this is something I never wanted, but at the same time I'm struggling to accept the abortion is the solution I want. I never want to feel that I've this child in some stupid hope that maybe he'll change his mind or be constant reminder of what he did. At the same time I'm worried I'm not getting any younger and that maybe I should keep it. One day I'm as clear as a day on being set on having abortion, next thoughts of what-ifs are creeping in and making me an emotional wreck.
Any support or advice would really be appreciated.

OP posts:
Forestfruits13 · 09/07/2017 15:41

How far on in the pregnancy are you? I'm sorry you have to make this difficult decision Flowers

Whatever you decide, don't forget to check what benefits etc you would be entitled to. It's not easy being a single parent (I did it for 8 years) but it is achievable.

If you are having recurrent doubts then maybe having an abortion is the wrong decision for you, but ultimately it is your choice and you shouldn't have to feel guilty. I would take a little time (if you can, depending on how far along you are) to consider how you would feel if you don't meet another partner in the next few years and miss the chance to have a baby.

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