I went to my termination appointment today.

[Leigh67890]

So I went to my termination appointment today, I was told I was about 7 - 8 weeks, I couldn't take the tablets partly because I was still so unsure and partly because getting the second lot of tablets would of been difficult to get.

I have a new appointment on Friday and would be taking the tablets over the weekend, which would be easier for me to work around my children.

But I'm still so unsure and I have no idea how to come to a decisions. One day I'm 90% sure I don't want it. The day after I wake up feeling completely different. I'm swaying from option to option daily and it's killing me trying to make this decision alone! 😢

Is there anyone at all in RL you can talk to?

I have spoken to a couple of friends about what I'm going through, but nothing is seeming any clearer to me.

No one here can tell you what to Do, this is your choice, but I hope you get some clarity.

I don't know if you posted previously so not sure of your reasons but it's really shit not to have someone to talk to so if you want to talk it out, talk it out with us.

I have posted before, my reason are being I have two children already, 5 and 10 month and I will be a single parent to all three if I keep this baby, I've recently got out of a bad relationship with my youngest dad and I have just found out I'm pregnant to him again.
That's why I'm so torn, I never thought termination would cross my mind, but I don't know if I would be able to cope on my own as he already is barely seeing his daughter as it is since the break up.
I always wanted three children, but in this situation I don't think it's best to bring another child in to it.
But then I don't know if I could live with myself if I did :(
Especially because two of my closest friends are due at the same time I would be. But not a lot of people around me are being supportive. So it's hard, and I know my mum wouldn't be ok with me having a termination and she's the person I want to talk to the most

Can you talk to Marie Stopes or similar organisation? I know you want to talk to your Mum but unless and until that feels right, you should keep talking to professionals.

I was at Marie's stopes today and they was supportive. I'm seeing the lady I seen today again on Friday, I just don't want to go back on Friday and feel as though I'm wasting their time with my uncertainty.
Time to give it a long hard think, I think I'm gonna have to take pen to paper tonight and figure this out. Hopefully I'll be able to come to a decision that is best for all three of us.

You'd never be wasting their time.
In what I hope is the unlikely event they make you feel like that, tell us on here and we will be all over them.
Talk to whoever you need to talk to.

May I ask how old you are?

I want to give you a huge hug. I've had a termination and certainly for me I don't think I ever really reached a decision. I sort of decided but I don't think I was intending to go through with it, because I didn't really want to, except I did go through with it because of my very logical reasons. Emotionally though I wanted to keep it. Sounds like where you might be at.

I went through with it because I knew that we weren't in a stable position (financially and we were young and hadn't been together long). We could have made it work but I felt that life would always be a little bit more difficult. Having the termination made me work harder to achieve all of the things we wanted our children to have.

I think in your shoes I would think about what you want for your current children and any future children. Love is a wonderful thing and to some degree absolutely is enough. If your ex is useless that doesn't mean you can't have this baby....you're already doing it on your own. But, it would of course be harder. I've just come out the other side of sleepless nights. Utter torture and I wouldn't have wanted to have done it alone...but then I would have if I'd have to and it's only a short period in time. Just remember that whatever life you build for your children will be what they know and love.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Be kind to yourself and maybe try to accept that sometimes decisions don't always feel 100% right.

I'm 26, and yes the woman today was lovely, we spoke a lot about my relationship breakdown and why I was there and how I'm feeling, and she booked me in to see her again so I don't have to see anyone new and explain all this again, which really helped, knowing that I have a bit more time to think about things, and I'll be seeing someone I've already seen before makes it a little easier and her working around me and my children was great, cause she's booked me into a weekend clinic so I don't have to worry about the school run etc...

Today I lay on the bed and I felt sick thinking that there might not be a heart beat, the exact same feeling I've had with both my children, so this is definitely not something I could do and forget about, easily.

I did it on my own for three years with my first born, as the relationship didn't work out, even though we was together for a few years, he jumped ship once I found out I was pregnant, then with my youngest, the night feeds, everything I had to do alone too, due to my ex p shifts with work, I coped, I was happy, they was happy, and since breaking up I feel as though I have escaped a relationship which could of potentially affected me and my children in the future, and I'm in a happy place, my son is excelling at school, my daughter is a dream baby, she sleeps amazing, so I just keep thinking is this baby going to rock the boat? I seem to have everything down to a T so far, and adding another child to the mix is going to upset the household, obviously for only a short period of time while we're all adjusting.

I agree completely, I keep telling myself that I will never forget the termination and the child that could of been, but that doesn't mean it was a bad choice.