One night stand termination?

[imamumagain]

Ive been up and down this past week thinking what to do. One minuite i want to carry on with my pregnancy next minute i want to end it. I have people in my ear reminding me that it was a one night stand and i should terminate it as the child will grow up without a father and it wouldnt be fair on the baby. And I definitely understand that but i just dont know what do....

I spent the whole day crying because i feel either way i might make the wrong choice

Lots of kids don't have fathers so don't let that be a reason in your decision. I think you have to think of the reasons why you do want a child and the reasons you don't. 'Also I would ignore other peoples comments and focus on only how you feel. They won't be the ones dealing with the aftermath either way.

I don't think you should make your decision based on what other people are influencing you to do. Only you will know if you are ok with a termination, or not.

The idea about the baby not having a father is very emotive. It's very possible that you could in the future have a father figure around without them being the biological father.

Lots of kids not having fathers is not a good reason to continue with a pregnancy.

Thank you ladies i understand what you are saying and do agree. I do find it tricky as i have a son aswell from a previous relationship so when the child is older he/she may be confused as to why they are not going to their dads for christmas or getting double the gifts on christmas ect. Its really getting me down. I do need to write a pros and cons list

Do you want another child and do you think you can give another child a happy and sufficiently comfortable life.

To me these are the important questions.

Minipie- i would answer yes to both questions

My dad grew up without a father and he is the most wonderful man I know.

I'm sure in the grand scheme of things, the child won't care that their sibling gets presents from their dad. Obviously they may be jealous or confused at some point, but I can't imagine it being a huge issue down the line. They'll be too busy opening their own presents at Christmas etc

If everything else is fine and you want this baby, I don't think extra presents come into the equation of whether you should terminate the pregnancy.

If you want this child you will find a way to make it work, I wish you all the best OP!

Thanks alot. I am definitely seeing this in a different light. This is a blessing. Theres topics on here about miscarriage and infant loss and im just here being selfish.

No OP, not selfish but totally sensible. Your problem is a valid one. A pros and cons list sounds good! You do sound like you can give the baby everything it would need so no worries there. Your baby would have a mother and sibling who would love it very much. But - I'm trying to word this as sensitively as possible and think I'm going to fail so apologies to any people I offend - not every baby/pregnancy is a blessing. We are fortunate to live in a time where women do have options. Sometimes it's just not the right time/set-up for a baby and it's ok - those who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant shouldn't go ahead with a pregnancy just because other unconnected women are struggling to conceive. I really hope I've said that ok! From your last post (indeed most of your posts) it does sound like you want the baby and that's wonderful - but you will have people's support either way. Good luck with the decision - it only has to be right for you, not anyone else.

Thank you. And you did word that in the right way. Theres no point tip toeing around it. Yeah i am finically able to bring a baby into this world and i guess i am just worrying what if this, what if that. But im 100% going to keep it because it is what i want. Thanks x

OP, had to comment to say I was in a really similar situation, I kept the baby and my little girl was born last month. I've never been happier and can't wait to see her grow up!

Awww congratulations. That is very positive to hear and i am happy there is no regret. Good luck. Xx