Abortion

[user1490522234]

HI I'm so sad to post this I'm 36 years old mother of 1. I have found out I am pregnant. This is unplanned and I did not know I was pregnant I have taken some over the counter medicine which I have since found out causes birth defects . I cannot bring myself to bring a baby into this world knowing I may have caused defects. My dr cannot guarantee me that there will or will not be defects so I have opted for a termination. I'm so sad as I would have loved to have kept this baby. I feel so guilty .

I definitely want another baby in the future tho

But even if you take your folic acid, look after yourself and do everything right you still have a chance the next time you get pregnant the baby might not be absolutely perfect.

If it took you 2 years to get pregnant when you were much younger then at 36 you might be knocking on the door of the last chance saloon.

if you are worried about deformities then surely these can be picked up in a scan then you can decide what to do.

Saying your mind is made up and you cant take that chance comes across as someone who doesn't actually want any more children and is trying to justify an abortion. There is always a risk with pregnancy it is not a risk free 9 months.

Friend didn't find out she was pregnant till 10 days before giving birth. Had an implant so didn't miss periods because she wasn't having any and was a very large lady. She was working and partying hard and certainly wasn't tea total , she drinks scotch in vast quantities and had been on all sorts of medication for coughs and colds and what she now realised were pregnancy symptoms.

Gave birth after 10 days to a beautiful baby girl who is happy and healthy and has children of her own now

lolathedarkdestroyer it is absolutely not true that abortion makes it harder to conceive - what are you basing that on? Very unhelpful comment. Ignore it OP.

But I agree with other posters that since you would otherwise want this baby it must be worth finding out as much as you can about the possible effects on the baby before taking this big step.

Lola any evidence for that claim?

I feel like posters are trying to guilt the op.

You don't need any reason to have a termination other than you don't want to continue with a pregnancy.

But I'd have a think before getting pregnant again if you couldn't face having a child with disabilities. That is a risk with any pregnancy.

I'm sorry to say but I find it so difficult not to be judgemental in this situation because I believe we haven't got a whole picture here.

I had an undetected pregnancy when I was very young and did stupid things. Found out at 16 weeks due to lack of period before I fell pregnant and no pregnancy symptoms.
He is very, very bright 12 year old.
I cried thinking there will be something wrong with him but also instantly knew that I loved him and wanted him no matter what.
I was trying to think what over the counter medication there is in the UK that might lead you to take this absolute decision?
I know Vit A/Retinol is dangerous hence under prescription. I fail to think of anything that is so risky and available that would cause women to opt for termination unless she is not in the U.K.
I feel guilty judging and generally not crazy pro life but it did feel that op contradicted herself in a way that it makes me question if the reason is hat genuine. Sorry.

Nobody has the right to judge the OP and it really does not matter what anyone else thinks or finds difficult

Or has abortion stopped being the womens choice?

Just incase some of you missed this bit as you were too busy judging her I'm not mentally capable of dealing with anything
This is an important statement by the OP.

The OP may change her mind but that should be a choice she makes herself not because people on the internet judged her and made her feel guilty.
It is HER life and she is the one who will be raising the child not any of the rightious few.

Typical "oh I believe in abortion and it being the womens choice......until that choice does not fit in with what I believe to be a good reason"

My mum didn't find put she was pregnant until she was 4 months along with my brother ... In that 4 months she did everything a pregnant person shouldn't do. We went on holiday to the states.. She went on every thrill roller coaster that said "do not ride when pregnant" and she enjoyed a few drinks by the pool every day... It was a big shock when we all found out she was expecting.. There's an 18 year gap between me and my brother.. He's now a healthy happy 10 year old. He's doing fantastic at school (I'm glad I came first and am not competing with his school results!)
I've been taking folic acid daily and vitamin. I drink decaf tea and stopped drinking coke. I'm trying to eat healthy and doing what is recommended for pregnancy but I've had 2 miscarriages at 6/ 7 weeks..
My point is that pregnancy doesn't always go to plan! Everything could well be grand with your child and maybe the timing isn't perfect but make sure you and your family really think it through before you do anything because it isn't a choice you can take back if you change your mind!

Can't link on phone but google it I'm right.

This is a terribly sad thing to read. No-one can tell you (and pp shouldn't have tried) what a 'good enough' reason to have an abortion is, but it is so sad to read that you are in this situation because what sounds like a minimal risk.

Is it not possible to wait and see? Lots of serious birth defects can be picked up at the anomaly scan. A late-term abortion is obviously a big decision as well, but it may be something you would consider, I don't know, especially if the chances of a disability are actually very low.

I didn't miss the I'm not mentally capable of dealing with anything

That is why I was questioning the reason behind her actually wanting an abortion and whether she should actually think about getting pregnant in the future. The op wants a 100% guarantee that at some point when she has stopped drinking not taken any pharmaceuticals and has actually got pregnant again that the baby will be born with everything intact and perfect and no one would be able to give her that. So I was wondering about the real reason behind having made her mind up on having an abortion and questioning why if she really wanted another baby she didn't wait to have a scan to put her mind at rest. Given when she did presumably do all that and she was younger it took her 2 years to get pregnant. Which given her age would bring another host of issues.

@SookiesSocks
I agree with everything you said. There have been numerous abortion posts here on pregnancy board and usually ops get a good support in my opinion.

In this case the stress was on possible birth defects due to meds which causes a bit of an outrage from other ops that have gone through similar experiences. I understand that we don't know what the meds are so not really in a position to compare.

If mental state is the main concern then you will find that most people would give their full support. If over the counter meds are to blame then most people find it difficult to sympathise and are trying to encourage op to investigate further before making such a decision.

To me it feels that we clearly haven't got full info to advise and hence it causes a quick judgement.

After all she might be based in India and over the counter choices in India contains a lot of meds that in the UK/EU has got super strict rules when prescribed.

I do agree with you though that it is her choice and after all she doesn't have to give us the reason why she is doing so or that she is doing so at all but she chose to do that asking for advice what to do and therefore people came up with a lot of positive stories only to find out that op wasn't interested in them. It's a sad situation if it is real.

The OP didnt ask for advice.

She just wrote how she felt.
She did not ask for success stories so thats why she has ignored the advice and judgement.

If you don't feel that you are mentally capable of coping with anything and a 1% chance of disability would worry you to much to continue, then I sadly feel that if you don't continue with this pregnancy, then you shouldn't be trying again either unless you have counselling to sort out your anxiety issues.

Something could go wrong in any pregnancy, probably statistically higher than the tiny tiny chance that an OTC medication has harmed your child. If you abort you may not conceieyagain, and even if you do, the stats on dissability will be the same, so it won't be any 'better'.

For what it's worth, I'm 28 weeks pregnant with my first (all pointers indicate a health baby). I wasn't perfect with my Folic acid, often eat crap am a bit fat, and have taken 'not recommended' medicines by accident on more than one occasion. I'm currently taking co-codamol which the pharmacists keep worrying about because the packet says not for pregnant women, but it's what was prescribed by the doctor, and necessary for me. It's important that we are careful in pregnancy, but we have to keep these risks in perspective. The reason virtually all medicines say not suitable in pregnancy is because it's unethical to research so they are covering their backsides, not because of any proven harmful effect. Even the few where there are indications they may harm, it's usually statistically very low even with continued use at high doses.

I think the risks are often exaggerated. Your midwife can refer you to a fetal care unit and they could do a detailed 12 week and 16 week scan.
I had these with DC 3 and DC 4 as I had TFMR with DC2.

At 16 weeks they could see most of the organs except heart chambers. I NEEDED the reassurance as I was so scared of something being wrong.

I just wanted to reiterate that early abortion has no impact on fertility as one pp has claimed. Op if you are certain this is the right decision then it is entirely valid.

Well went to the drs Saturday and my first appointment at the hospital isn't for over 2 weeks. And then they will just do scan and discuss what to do next! Can't believe it's so long to wait like this. My mind is made up and now I want it sorted! 😟

Can't link on phone but google it I'm right.

No you aren't. Good studies have repeatedly found that having a termination has no impact on a woman's future fertility. There is a very low risk of infection which can have negative impact if not treated promptly. This is managed and monitored and antibiotics are prescribed routinely to ensure that any infection IS treated promptly.

OP are you in the UK? You can book yourself in at BPAS or Marie Stopes. However, this might not be any sooner than what you've already got booked. And yes, at the initial consultation appointment they will do a scan and discuss what method of termination is best for you - a followup appointment will be required for the termination procedure.

Yeah I'm in the uk, just thought it would be safer to go through GP route? Just can't beleive it's gona be son long. Don't know how long I'll have to wait after first hospital appointment til it gets done xx

Since you are in the UK may I ask you what is over the counter medication that you took that was so dangerous?

I understand your mind is made up and have no business in your decision but I really am very interested what was that.
I have always been under the impression that all the regulations that we have in the EU/UK make sure that things like these do not happen.
Maybe this should be addressed somewhere further and to be honest I am a very paranoid pregnant woman and I would appreciate if you could share this info. Thanks!

Ovex, but I have taken it 3 times within the first trimester

Think I originally posted on here as I needed to tell someone what I was going through- not necessarily for advice

Hi op. It does sound very much like you are suffering from anxiety. Have you had any issues with this in the past? Is it worth trying to get an appointment to talk through how you are feeling before you make an irreversible decision. An abortion may absolutely be the right thing to do but when in the grip of anxiety sometimes it's difficult to make objective decisions.

A relative of mine sounded very similar to you and had very similar worries when pregnant, and thought seriously about not having a much wanted baby. It wasn't easy but she sought treatment for the anxiety and has a lovely healthy dc, though the anxiety is still there and always will be. When it rears its head again she needs to seek out treatment again to get it under control.

Huge sympathy OP, from my experience with my relative this is very difficult to work through.

User, have a look at this: www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0002937802714099

It's about ovex in the first trimester. It says "There was no increase in the rate of major malformations between the groups" ie those that took the drug and those that didn't.

There was also a big study done in Sri Lanka on whether all women should be prescribed it in the second trimester. They did find a small increase in risk in the first trimester, but it wasn't major. They may be able to reassure you at a scan, so if this really is a baby that you've been trying for, for 2 years, hang on in there for now, chances are, it's fine.

The reason it's listed as not for pregnancy is because there was some toxicity animal tests, on animals. But firstly that doesn't mean humans are affected the same (often we aren't) and secondly, we don't know how the dose given to animals compares to humans. It may be that it only causes problems at a much higher dose.

NHS guidance on treatj g ringworm in pregnancy states that "The United Kingdom Teratology Information Service (UKTIS) advises that inadvertent exposure to mebendazole at any stage of pregnancy would not usually be regarded as medical grounds for termination of pregnancy or any additional fetal monitoring"

At the stage you're at, you don't need epically grounds to terminate, so you can get one because you don't want to continue, but the risk isn't regarded such that you'd (routinely) even be offered more monitoring. In reality they might, because you are so anxious about it, but again that's to help you, not the baby.