I know what to do but I feel so alone

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After 2dc I have discovered I am pregnant. It was a complete shock and I'm still trying to absorb the news. I do know, however that I can't go through with this. I can barely cope with 2 and a 3rd was never on my mind. My ex walked out when dc2 was a few months old so I have no partner to support me.
I haven't told anyone. I don't know how to. I feel guilty and..ashamed. I know it's my body and my decision but it doesn't help me. I don't know how to deal with this on my own.

Please don't feel guilty or ashamed, it's a difficult decision that no one would choose to have to take, but you can only do what is best for you and your dc. I am a single parent too and would feel exactly as you do now.
Have you seen a doctor? If you get a referral for a termination there will be counselling involved and that will give you a chance to talk through how you are feeling. Is there anyone at all in real life that you can talk to? There are many more people than you realise that have been through it.

Thank you, Muddle. I knew as soon as I saw the test that I couldn't go through with it. And as I researched into the options it made me upset to what I was planning to do.
I had a telephone conversation with the Dr on the same day. She was blunt, gave me a number to bpas and told me "to look into better contraception to avoid going through this again" yeah, thanks for that. So no, I didn't particularly feel open to the idea of counselling after that.
I have no one to tell. My closest friend is away on holiday until next week. I am crushed.

You are not alone, so many people have been there. You are brave to make a decision for the best, one of the hardest decisions. Many people don't go ahead with a pregnancy that is wrong timing, wrong partner etc and feel no regret (other than that they got pregnant). So don't be scared or ashamed. You really aren't alone.

words. I'm so sorry you're in this position. It's awful and nothing can change that. But. You're not alone. Where is your closest friend? Can you call her? Feel free to PM if you've no one to talk to - haven't been in your situation but similar. Happy to help if I can.

Thank you. Thank you for not flaming me for being stupid enough to be in this position. I thought it would be a good idea to tell the father (whom I've known for a long time) & his reaction was the worst it could be. He looked confused and said it can't possibly be his, and he's not sure if I'm seeing other people (I'm not) he basically couldn't be further away from me if he tried. I felt a fool for telling him. I thought he could maybe be with me to go to the clinic and we'll deal with it together but now I'm contemplating going on my own. I feel so small. Like I'm nothing to anyone. My eyes have been puffy for days from all the crying and I'm keeping it together in front of the dc but I'm finding it really hard today.

My friend is on a family holiday so don't want to tell her whilst she's away. I have reservations about telling her as I don't know her stance on abortion and she's not long given birth to her first child. I don't know if I can take anymore bad reactions.

I don't have any advice really but I just wanted to send you some love.

To your two Dcs you are the world. Never feel that you are alone.

I had a termination in the past and like you I 100% knew I needed one.
I did go through the emotional wringer at the time but I still believe it was the right choice and I'm at peace with it.

I hope you get to speak to your friend soon.
And I hope you never speak to that waste of oxygen of a man again.

Sending and zero judgement.

How are things today Words?

Have you rung the bpas clinic? They will be much more kind and supportive than the GP, who doesn't sound very good at all.