A bit of a mess

[KatelovesJames]

Ok,
I'm old enough to have thought unplanned pregnancy was a thing of the past but apparently not.

I'm 35, mum to an 8 year old girl with my ex hubby. I was with him for 15 years, he was never hands on but accepted our daughter and we now have a joint child arrangement order. She lives with me but he frequently breaks the agreement (I've had to put in for the second enforcement to the agreement into court as he disappeared with her again for a week - not the first time.)
I left ex 2 years ago, had a solicitor in place (ex was abusive - reported) but he constantly harasses me. The police are currently investigating him for three different things and he is making the life of dd horrible (he says inappropriate things to her) and trying to ruin mine. I had to give up work before summer as it was too much.

I've been with bf for a year and a half (he was my best friend for over a decade). Dd loves him, we plan on getting married. I was on the pill religiously but I found out on Friday I'm pregnant. Literally no idea what to do. My dd has been through so much over the divorce, I don't want to cause further upset yk?

We'd have to move, I'm not working and the legal fees of fighting him have taken their toll. No divorce settlement as he filed for bankruptcy (bs, we had enough savings). I'm also on medication which I don't know if that's an issue. Bf very supportive and is happy to support either decision.

Sorry, that was long.

Well... you haven't mentioned at all whether you want another child or not?

How do you feel about it- asides from the practical stuff- what are your emotions?

I'd speak to your GP early re: your medication, but you do have options.

FWIW... I'd be very tempted to have another one, if you're as happy with your DP as you say. I'm sure your DD would love to have somebody to help look after.

Thank you.

Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel. I adore dd and dp but I worry about the change in dynamics. I also hated pregnancy so I think that's weighing on my mind too.

I hated being pregnant too so I feel you there.

What does your DP say about it?

He knows that it's a concern, specifically the weight gain (I have a long history of eating disorders). He is letting me think and we will talk properly again tomorrow.

He's aware it's not the best timing but doesn't want to push anything on me iykwim?

I also know it's ridiculous but my mum would be pissed off too 😞

Maybe I'm trying to talk myself into a termination, I really don't know

You're a grown woman, you don't need to worry about what your mum thinks. You know that.

Definitely consider every avenue, but if your partner wants children of his own then this could be a blessing in disguise. Pregnancy is horrible but you got your DD out of it!

Thank you.

Part of me thinks I would regret it in years to come and dp certainly would if we didn't have a child together.

Thank you so much

Wishing you every happiness OP x

We're continuing the pregnancy 😀

Thank you so much