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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Surgical termination due to acrania

11 replies

ConfusedLlama · 14/10/2016 00:08

My partner and I received the devasting news that our baby has acrania (skull has not formed 0% survival rate) as well as quite a few other lethal issues. We have chosen to have the surgical termination.

I've been given an appointment 2 weeks from now which would put us at 15 weeks and was told the procedure would carry more risks because of this. I can't really think straight at the moment but would it be worth calling other clinics to see if they would be able to book us sooner or go privately? Does anyone have any experience of this? I'm a bit lost.

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Manumission · 14/10/2016 00:20

Calling doesn't commit you, so I would check for earlier dates, I think, yes. Then consider the available options.

I'm so sorry that this has happened to your baby Flowers

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PickAChew · 14/10/2016 00:20

No experience, but what an horrible long wait, for you, in such awful circumstances. Flowers If private isn't going to bankrupt you, it's worth calling around to see if you can get the termination over with with less delay.

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sailawaywithme · 14/10/2016 00:24

I'm just so sorry for you. I've been through something similar and it's brutal. God bless you all.

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ConfusedLlama · 14/10/2016 00:26

Thankyou so much for replying.

It was booked today but it's just really hit me in the last few hours how long this going to be drawn out for. Just the thought of having to stay in this strange kind of limbo of being pregnant but not for 2 weeks seems so wrong at the moment. Marie Stopes is who we were refered to and with no previous experience of this I don't even really know where to start.

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memyselfandaye · 14/10/2016 00:28

I'm sorry you have to go through this, it just seems doubly cruel Flowers

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Manumission · 14/10/2016 00:33

Try BPAS www.bpas.org

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ConfusedLlama · 14/10/2016 07:29

I just wanted to comeback this morning to say thankyou to everyone who replied. I was in a bit of a state last night.

I've rung round this morning and have managed to get a closer appointment after explaining the circumstances and saying that we were willing to travel anywhere in the country.

Thanks again. Flowers

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sailawaywithme · 14/10/2016 12:14

I hope it goes ok. Three years on I can think of my baby and smile. We knew there was something very wrong for 10 weeks before she died, but the edges of the pain have softened for us now. I pray for the same peace for you.

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OhFuckOff · 15/10/2016 14:21

I had similar but my baby had anencephaly (neural tube defect which is very similar, the baby had no skull or skin protecting the brain from the amniotic fluid). I found out at the 12 week scan but had to wait over two weeks for a more detailed scan at a larger hospital for it to be confirmed. By the time I took the tablets to start the procedure I was nearly 16wks pregnant. I hope you are ok op, I know how heartbreaking this is.

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ConfusedLlama · 18/10/2016 08:49

Thank you again. We're both very heartbroken, people we've spoken to who have been through similar experiences have all been very helpful. I think part of me is still hoping that they'll ring up and say we've made a mistake everything is fine.

At the moment we are both just keeping our heads down at work, keeping our minds off it but making sure we can talk about it when we get home.

The termination day is tomorrow, I'm guessing it's completely normal to feel this way but, I'm scared and I feel so helpless that I couldn't do anything.

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KittyandTeal · 18/10/2016 08:54

I'm so sorry you are going through this confused. I have experience of a tfmr, albeit at a later stage, it is utterly heartbreaking.

If you have not done so already try contacting ARC, they are not just for the diagnostic process but will support you afterwards as well. I found their forum, and talking to others who have been through the same (in my experience it's slightly different to still birth or miscarriage) is comforting somehow.

Good luck tomorrow, I hope it goes as well as it can 💐

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