5 month old and 4 weeks pregnant

[Stinkilinky]

I am totally torn as to what to do.

After the initial shock I began to get excited and now, I just don't think I will be able to cope.

Motherhood did not come easy to me, I had PND and anxiety, DS had awful reflux and colic which he is only just beginning to get over and I am able to enjoy being his mum.

I'm scared that I'll regret an abortion but know I won't cope well with 2 babies.

I don't know what I want from this thread but it helps to write things down.

Maybe try to think about them as children, rather than babies. They're not babies for long (really and honestly). You're looking at a 14m age gap so you'll have a 5 & 6yo; 9 & 10yo, etc. They will grow up together and probably have the same circle of friends. There will (highly likely) only be one school year between them.

Life is different when they're not babies. Do you have any support IRL for the early years?

My DM and MIL said they will help out but they work full time in demanding jobs and DP will be working long hours.

Other than that I will be doing it on my own during the day and doing the nights.

Did you want more kids anyway? Think about some of the positives, you will get the baby stage out of the way quickly and after the first year or so with your youngest, they will be able to play together etc. it is a lot of work but it will be so worth it when they are a bit older! Have you been to any baby groups yet? Do you drive? Would strongly recommend getting stuff organised to do so you don't go stir crazy at home! I find that helps a lot.

I fully sympathise with you because I'd love a big family but I hate hate hate the baby stage!

Thanks for your reply Lozza. We do want more children but having DS really put me off going through the baby stage again! I never thought of it as getting the baby stage out of the way quickly, so that's some food for thought.

I do drive (the most un-family, awkward car!) but haven't gone to any baby groups as i have developed awful anxiety and DS just screams whenever I attempt anything like that. I'm also finding it hard to have any sort of structure with him during the day regarding feeding and sleeping, bedtime isn't too bad but that's about as far as I have got!