What do i do?

[milkyman]

m 40, have one 3 yr old ds and am 9 weeks. Was a shock as hadnt decided to have another. Feeling utterly traumatised. Had a horrific birth and 1st year was awful. I love my toddler now but the thought of putting myself through it all again... especially now i am 40. Life was getting better.

I see the MW tomorrow and dont know what to say - i feel so selfish. Not sure i can go through with it but not sure i could cope with other option. I read all these excited posts and wish i could be excited. Is a 3.5 gap a good one. Is a 2nd baby less of a shock?

Hope you are ok. Only you know what's right for you. Do you have help? Supportive partner? I found second one easier because I felt I knew more what to expect and felt more confident as a parent but juggling baby and toddler need can be hard especially at first.
Take your time to think it through and ask your midwife lots of questions. Use her as a sounding board and maybe raise your concerns about birth etc with her as a starting point?

I had a smaller gap, but found baby number 2 much easier. What does DH think?