Hyperemesis leading me to consider abortion. Feel desperate.

[Newshoesplease]

I dont know where to post- but im 6 weeks gone with my third, and the HG has started. It doesn't even sound as bad as some cases on here. Me and my dh were talking for a long time yesterday and we are strongly considering a termination. I have 2 dc, one of which is currently undergoing an asd assessment and

needs some support lately -he's finding life really tough. I can't separate my thoughts from the constant vomiting/wanting to vomit and wanting this to be over. I just wish I could be normal. Just to add another stress I have a lump in my neck that I'm awaiting a scan for. I can't cope with all this.

Did you try medication for your HG last time?

I didnt-was managing to keep fluid down so managed without. It just all felt different. I feel like I'm in shock. Sorry I'm babbling but I'm not in a great place.

First of all, the way you feel is normal. It's horrendous .... Thankfully a wonderful nurse told me, "we will care for you and support you in managing this". Medication honestly can help you manage it better, it can be trial and error to get one that works.

The most important thing is to get seen and discuss options. You're going through an awful lot and stress will make you feel worse.

I have a doctors appointment at 11- so will ask about medication. Thanks for taking the time to reply. Which medication did you take? My doctors are horribly unsympathetic about almost every ailment in my experience.

Really push for medication - explain how you are feeling to your Dr. I refused to leave the surgery until I had a prescription with my 2nd pg. My first I was signed off work for 3 months as I was being sick 24/7 and felt sick all the time. I knew that with a toddler I just wouldn't be able to cope the second time round, so went to see the doc as soon as the sickness started. I had Phenergan which took away the constant nausea and I was only sick a handful of times during the first trimester. It did make me very dopey, but it worked for me.

I too felt like this. I was admitted to hospital and was given cyclazine medication, it took the edge off the sickness and made the pregnancy more bearable. Please seek help and tell them how you are feeling

Yy to meds. Ask for stemetil suppositories. As fun as they sound, but can really take the edge off the nausea. Try and eat something carby, even if you don't feel like it. HG is a cycle, so the emptier your stomach the sicker you'll feel. If the doc is unsympathetic, see another one. Buchal tablets are the first defence usually, but aren't much use if you're actually vomiting. The absolute boss of anti nausea meds is odanestron (sp), but it's expensive and a last resort. Good luck x

i was hospitalised with hyperemesis at 6_7 weeks...being put on a drip helped with the extreme dehydration that makes you so dizzy and sick

HI NewShoes, I was prescrined Metaclopramazol (sp?) which didn't work, and then Cyclizine, on which I immediately felt better. I was able to drink fluids but was feeling really lousy, and GP was happy to prescribe. By week 16, the symptoms had mostly gone and haven't been ill since. Thinking of you - HG is horrible.

Hope you managed to get something newshoes. I had cyclizine (as much use as smarties for me), stemetil (makes me vomit!), but ondansetron and prochlorprozine and metachlropromide worked second time round. There are lots if different things you can try. I have always found that by the time I was really vommiting (more than just every couple of hours) that I needed iv drugs as the dissolving ones didn't work well enough. You can just go to a&e if the doctor or midwife are unsympathetic (that's what I did first time).

Doctors are, ime, rubbish and will tell you it's normal. I had a termination at 6 weeks for hg (3rd pregnancy, very unexpected) and it seems to be very normal to consider(or have) a termination for hg. I found nothing, not even steroids, worked to help stop or reduce the vomiting but if you have managed twice with nothing then you have lots of options (including a termination). Be pushy with your gp/midwife and if you need to take someone else with you to make the point (although fainting due to dehydration works well ).

You aren't alone here and whatever you decide there are women here who have been there and can offer support.

Keep pushing on medication. Push and push and push. The main ones I have heard about are stemetil and cyclizine. I was on stemetil for 35 weeks of my first pregnancy.

I also terminated my unplanned pregnancy last year due to HG. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew I couldn't go through another HG pregnancy without a hell of a lot of planning and support (which wouldn't have been there at that time) and my DC being pretty much school age, rather than a toddler.

If you do decide to terminate, please please don't think about the whole 'other women had worse sickness than me and managed'. I know mine wasn't half as bad as some women I know about - but it was bad enough for me. You make a decision based on what is right at this time.

However, it sounds to me like you would prefer not to terminate. HG is soul destroying and yes, it clouds everything else in your life.

It is ok if you decide you can't go through with this pregnancy right now.

However, from the way you sound, I would keep pushing with the doctors, with the midwife, maybe even try and go to A&E/maternity ward if you start feeling very rough, try to get someone who will give you the meds as for many women they can at least make it bearable. Not great, but bearable.

If you decide to continue with your pregnancy then find the HG support thread as the ladies there are wonderful. But if you decide to terminate, please remember you are not alone

Thanks so much. I actually broke down in my doctors appt and asked for a termination. My dc are9&5 and I cant even collect them from school. I just feel really detached from the pregnancy although initially I was excited. Everything feels so strange.
The doctor also checked my neck and said the lump is very likely a cyst, and has given me a number to chase up the scan.
I think I need to make peace woth whatever decision I make, but all I seem to do is wish I was "back to normal".

You're only 6 weeks pregnant, which means you have plenty of time to make your decision.

The advice I have seen on other threads like this has always struck me as the best, so I'll try and pass it on properly.

Sit down, calmly, and try to imagine what life will be like in 1 years time if a) you have this baby, and b) you don't have this baby.

Personally, when I decided to have a termination, I felt more relief at the thought of b than I did at the thought of a. Your gut will probably tell you a lot about how you feel.

Also, I know that when I took the time to think about it (thanks to the support of some lovely people on here) I realised that I was upset about the situation I was in and the fact that I had to make a decision - rather than being upset about the decision itself. If that makes sense. And once I had made the decision and knew that things were going to "get back to normal" then I felt more comfortable.

Did the doctor give you any medication or has he referred you yet?

newshoesplease

Firstly hugs. Secondly, PLEASE get on the phone to Pregnancy Sickness Support on 024 7638 2020 (www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk). They are amazing and they will talk you through your options and advise regarding medication and support you in advocating with your GP. There is no judgement if you decide on a termination but they are there for situations such as yours.

I have personally had HG in both pregnancies and the only thing that helps me is Ondansetron. This is expensive so GPs tend to try the cheaper things like Cyclizine, Promethezine first - for me they work for a few days and then I end up in hospital again.

Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk, I know how hard it is x

Argh, just re read. Of course a termination is an option. Only someone who has been through the hell of HG can know how debilitating it is, physically and mentally. I considered terminating my second pregnancy and the knowledge that I had the option was immensely comforting. I didn't in the end, ds2 was a planned baby, but in my darkest moments I wanted nothing more than to not be pregnant. Huge sympathies. Do what you can cope with x

Thanks so much for all the advice and kindness. I feel so confused that only a week ago I was excited. Oddly enough I haven't been sick today, but -apart from the doctors appt- all I have done is lay flat.

thurlow

I agree, I feel more upset at having to make this choice than anything else. X

likesilver
Thanks-will give them a ring tomorrow. X

snakey thanks for your kind advice. X

I've been there, even considering the termination. The tablets didn't work, I was dangerously dehydrated and in hospital on a drip several times. I was scanned for twins, all sorts of problems and I had other complications. I don't want to scare you, but the morning of my c-section I was still ill!

The only thing that helped me was cyclizine injections 3 times a day. It was rough and I had to do it myself but it got me through. If you want to keep your baby, consider seeing if the jabs work? I soon got used to doing them and I felt like superwoman doing them myself! It's really easy. The jabs work so much better than the tablets. Un-mumsnetty hugs, I honestly understand. My DC2 is now 2 and I definately won't be having any more! Whatever you do is the right decision for you.

Thanks for taking time to post stropzilla . I've told a couple of close friends that I'm pregnant. They're bombarding me with excited texts (as anyone would) and all I want to do is sob. Sitting with an ice lolly-hoping it stays down. ..

I'm going to have a think about medications. I've woken this morning and something has clicked. ..I am not sure termination is the right choice for me.
Another big thanks for all this advice.

Good luck new shoes. I soul definitely recommend trying meds (and lemon ice lollies)

Oh newshoes. I really feel for you. I had hyperemesis twice. I spent months in hospital. When I was 10 weeks with dc1 I asked for an abortion. I felt like I couldn't cope anymore. My consultant moved me from cyclizine to ondansetron and that really made a difference, I felt more able to go on.

You have lots of other things going on at the moment too, to face them feeling like this is awful. My advice is to try and control the sickness so that you can think straight. Maybe you could ask for a referral to a consultant and ask about ondansetron? It really is the best stuff.

Xxx

I had two healthy babies newshoes and I was on medication from 5 weeks until the very end with both. Good luck my love.

From the tone of your posts, that sounds like the right decision for you. I'm glad you feel that way this morning. Remember, don't take no for an answer, even if you have to go to A&E when dehydrated because your GP won't help. But most are sympathetic and there are lots of things you can try. Don't stop with the first drug if it doesn't work.

The ladies on the HG support thread in PG are wonderful, I'd recommend you go over and join them.

I haven't done the HG thing but I did have "morning" (ha!) sickness with both pregnancies and I have done the ASD diagnosis thing and just wanted to come and give you a massive hug. It's crap and doing it while also throwing up and feeling sick is really daunting. For us, finally getting the diagnosis was a huge improvement on wondering and stressing about it. I hope it is for you too xxx