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Original poster

Midwife couldn't find heartbeat at 16+2 weeks - could it be ok?

52 replies

IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy · 08/07/2010 17:56

Just had a thoroughly depressing 16 wk appointment and desperately looking for reassurance since midwife tried for ages but couldn't find a heartbeat

I had a dating scan at 7 weeks, another at 9+4 after some bleeding and the usual scan at 13 weeks and each time everything was fine. But now I'm in a complete panic - surely they should be able to pick up heartbeat by now?!

I've been a bit paranoid because I'm not as big as I thought I would be by now (tis baby 3) but I am slowly growing out of my clothes. Now obviously I'm wondering if something's gone horribly wrong.

I have to go to EPU for scan tomorrow, but just wondering how likely it is to be ok? Has anyone been here and had a positive outcome?

OP posts:
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going · 09/07/2010 13:08

SO sorry to hear this Izzy, I'm sure this is a great shock.

Aitch · 09/07/2010 13:09

so very sorry to hear this, Izzy.

anniebigpants · 09/07/2010 13:11

So so sad, my thoughts are with you. X

Pinkchampagne · 09/07/2010 13:17

So sorry, Izzy.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 09/07/2010 13:21

I'm so sorry. My thought are with you and your family.

FessaEst · 09/07/2010 13:27

Thinking of you Izzy Hope you get all the help, support and information you need, now and in the future.

(The Miscarriage Association are brilliant and will be there if, as and when you need them.)

planner26 · 09/07/2010 13:50

Izzy had my fingers crossed for you so sorry to hear your news thinking of you xx

smokinaces · 09/07/2010 14:00

oh Izzy I am so sorry x

HappyGirl1 · 09/07/2010 14:04

Oh Izzy that is desperately sad news. I feel so so so sorry for you.

It's probably too early but there is a really supportive and lovely MC thread in the Coneception section that really helped me through my MC.

Thoughts are with you.

moonstorm · 09/07/2010 14:37

I'm so sorry xx

ivykaty44 · 09/07/2010 14:46

I hope you and your dp can get the support and help you both need at this time, no words can make this better x

MrsGangly · 09/07/2010 14:50

Oh gosh, I am so sorry to read this.

KerryMumbles · 09/07/2010 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catbus · 09/07/2010 15:12

I am so very sorry to read this has happened to you. Sending lots of warm wishes and strength to see you through this.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 09/07/2010 16:21

Kerry, it's the policy here that 2 sonographers are present when doing a scan, this greatly reduces the chance of there being a mistake.

I really am very sorry

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 09/07/2010 16:25

I'm very, very sorry...

capricorn76 · 09/07/2010 16:28

So sorry, my thought are with you.

Lotta123 · 09/07/2010 16:46

Thinking of you Izzy. So sorry.

mumblecrumble · 09/07/2010 16:52

SOrry to hear your sad news. Love to you and your family

cathcat · 09/07/2010 16:56

I'm so sorry.

5DollarShake · 09/07/2010 17:19

Izzy - I'm so, so sorry.

Original poster
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy · 10/07/2010 07:12

Wow - just checked the thread. Thank you all so much for your messages and kind words of support.

Kerry, the scan was checked by two sonographers at the time. The screen was angled away from me, but DH says he could see it and knew straight away that there was no heartbeat and no movement. I also asked, and was allowed, to see the screen after they told me the news, so I know they were right. That image will haunt me forever but I think if I hadn't seen it for myself I couldn't have believed it

I am going in for surgery on Tuesday, as I just can't face the induced labour and "luckily" I'm just borderline enough to have the choice. The hospital chaplain then conducts a weekly memorial service and cremation for lost babies (or we can have a private service if we want). It might seem morbid, but for me it's extremely comforting to know that our beloved baby will be treated with respect and dignity at the end.

Happygirl - it seems a very distant light at the end of the tunnel but I believe I will check out that thread at some point. DH is adamant that this baby was sent to us for a reason, even if that reason was only to show us how much we really wanted another DC (this was an unplanned but very much wanted 3rd baby). Sadly it just wasn't meant to be this time.

Also just wanted to say I hope this thread hasn't been upsetting for those of you who are pregnant now; I do think it's actually quite rare to have this outcome AFTER a "healthy" 13 week scan. I'm wishing you all uncomplicated and uneventful pregnancies and hope you'll all be bringing home happy and healthy babies before you know it!

OP posts:
LauraKB · 10/07/2010 09:04

Izzy, what beautiful and eloquent words. I wish you all the strength and peace you need, x.

DomesticG0ddess · 10/07/2010 09:55

How nice of you to think of other people at the same time. I am really sorry to read about what happened - I came back to your thread really thinking that everything would be OK. I hope you and your DH can support each other and do what is right for you.

Poohbearsmom · 10/07/2010 10:42

You seem like such a kind person im so very sorry for your lost little one
im awaiting my second scan next week to confirm my lo is gone (i should be 10wks) but i cant imagine going through this even further along, i wish none of us ever had to feel this pain
take care of yourself dear and you may not feel like it right now but there is a beautiful thread back abit here with poetry about lost babies and i sobbed my heart out reading them but they helped me too iykwim