Broodiness

[TheDoll]

Hi there,
I'm new to this community but I really would appreciate some honest opinions or some personal experiences...

I'm 21 and in a long term relationship with the most amazing guy. We've been together almost 3 years and have been living together for about 2. We both want children.

But I have an insane yearning to have a baby now. I know we can both handle it and I have lived enough as a young carefree woman. I cry constantly with the pain of being childless.

My boyfriend has said that he would like kids after a few years. But I want to start trying straight away. I can't deal with the thought of feeling like this for another 2 or 3 years. Everytime I leave the house all I seem to see are beautiful pregnant women or babies in prams and it's killing me that I can't be one of them...

So how do I deal with this? Any thoughts?
Any replies are greatly appreciated

Hi There
Really don't mean to sound patronising in anyway (and i am sure i will, so sorry) But 21 is very young to have a baby. I felt the same as you at that age and was desperate for a baby and i actually had my first baby at 29 and am so glad i waited i cannot tell you. Not only is a baby harder work than i had ever imagined it completely turns your world upside down it is also a massive strain on any relationship. Also i am so pleased that i waited and got some life experiences, work, travel, socialising etc so that i can share these with my children and know that i have valuable life lessons that i can pass on to them. Why not do as your partner suggests and wait a while. In the meantime why not try travel or take up some sort of college/nigh class and think how useful that will be once becoming a mum. Even learn a new language and know that when you have a baby you alone will be able to make it bilingual? Sorry again if i sound patronising and i hope this helps xxx

I'd echo what clpsmum said. I got broody years ago too, but it really wasn't a good time so I just had to deal with it and I did. And now I'm glad I did, because we're in a far better position to have a baby and I've done thigns I wouldn't have otherwise done.

Counselling can help fwiw. Also, I found that just recognising that broodiness is natural and a matter of genes and hormones more than anything helped.

I was pregnant at 22, and though I respect that waiting was the right thing for the posters above, I am really glad I had mine when I did. It was the right thing for me, and I think I had enough life experience to teach my DCs, and I think I was wise for my age. I think it works differently for everyone to be honest- Though others say they have been able to do things that would have been impossible had they had children young, I have gone down a career path which would have been impossible had I not had them.

However, my DH and I were in complete agreement about ttc, and I think that you should wait until you're both ready.

I absolutely totally know how you feel with the broodiness, by the way... It's all consuming, isn't it? I felt like this from when I was about 17, and at times, I wanted to scream because my broodiness was so strong. It happened to my sister recently, and seeing as she is not in a relationship and doesn't really want the practicalities of a child, she got a dog- I thought at the time that it was a simplistic answer, but it has really helped.

Getting a puppy really helped me too!

I think you really need to make the decision to TTC as a joint one with your partner. Otherwise it could to to resentment and all kinds of issues! If they're not ready, I think you need to respect that.