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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

sex

25 replies

daisystone · 07/07/2010 16:23

Just wondering about how people feel about sex during pregnancy and how many people are having it regularly.

I am married and I am sure my husband would have it every day if he could, but I am not in the mood. I also feel quite uncomfortable having sex some of the time. My bump often gets in the way and I know that they say you should experiment with positions etc, but I'm not Katie Price and I can't be fagged.

How do your significant others deal with your lack of/increased sexual appetite?

OP posts:

planner26 · 07/07/2010 16:34

daisystone - love the 'I'm not Katie Price and I can't be fagged' it made me laugh out loud in the office.

We're not doing it as much - I'm not in the moos as much either and DP seems to think he is going to hurt DC...hmm..either that or my fat arse is putting him off!

RooBear · 07/07/2010 16:42

it depends how far gone you are, I couldn't face it in the first few months as I was too tired but then I got my mojo back! not sure about the last 3 months as I'm just under 6 months pg at the mo. But my DH is happy with whatever I say, hes just so happy we are having a baby. I think as long as you keep showing affection and communicate it shouldn't be a problem

vmcd28 · 07/07/2010 17:21

I'm 20 w, and we havent had "actual" sex since I found out - I was spotting for the first 13 weeks, so I was too scared to aggravate something that might have been wrong.
I now cant be arsed, but know we really have to think about doing something!

Igglybuff · 07/07/2010 17:27

I couldn't be bothered. Towards the end I was a giant beachball so only tried it to see if it would bring things along. It didnt.

AhickeyfromKenickie · 07/07/2010 17:35

I'm 24 weeks, and we've had actual sex 3 times in the whole of the pregnancy. I just don't have any sex drive, it's totally vanished. I was expecting it to come back at some point but it's gone AWOL (maybe I should send out a search party). I still sort DP out (sorry, couldn't think of any other way to say it!) so he knows I still fancy him and so we have that closeness, but as for me, totally not interested.

5DollarShake · 07/07/2010 17:45

I'm 36 weeks and can't remember the last time we did it.

I am tired and so not in the mood. DH, who likewise would probably be happy to do it every day has been very understanding.

I must admit, I do feel bad - but likewise, the thought of contorting myself into all sorts of positions when a). all I want to do is go to sleep, and b). even turning over in bed requires forward-planning and military precision - well, it just puts me right off.

LouM10 · 07/07/2010 18:09

I'm 28 wks gone. My bump is pretty small, but I have no energy. I just say, if u want it, you can do all the work. I used to really enjoy sex, but now, I just do it so he doesn't whinge lol. Don't mind as long as I don't have to do anything hehe

nunnie · 07/07/2010 18:10

Had sex daily more or less with dd after 3 months, this one is not quite as regular but has potential to be.
Dh seems more scared of me pouncing on him than not having any I think.

sedgiebaby · 07/07/2010 18:16

5DollarShake your comment about turning over made me lol (so true)

Only thing to add is that once the bump gets big and baby is moving loads its a bit 'three's a crowd' isn't it? :S

mummytosquidgies · 07/07/2010 18:31

I'm 32 weeks now and we've had sex once during the whole pregnancy, a few nights ago

For the first 15-16 weeks I was just so sick, and felt so tired all the time that there was no way it was going to happen. Once I'd started to feel the baby move it squigged me out to have sex, couldn't get in to the right frame of mind when I was being kicked!

I'm glad we tried the other night, but I don't think we'll be doing it again as it was so uncomfortable, and really didn't do my SPD any favours at all, it was agony for a couple of days afterwards.

DH has been fine about it, but he has never had a particularly high sex drive. I feel terribly guilty though!

DomesticG0ddess · 07/07/2010 19:07

Haven't had sex at all and am 25 weeks! Had mc in January and was too paranoid at the beginning, also had spotting between 16-20 weeks, so that didn't encourage me either. To be honest I don't fancy it at all and I didn't last time - I think it's a hormonal thing, ie. I have his sperm, why would I need more!! [shocked]

DH has also been fine about it, I feel a bit guilty too, but not that much as we did have sex alot when ttc

pinguina · 07/07/2010 19:17

I'm 33 weeks and have sex three-four times a week. It is a bit tedious to have to lie in the same position every time, but a) DH is clearly not put off by bump! and b) it does make me feel better in many ways, helping me sleep and making me feel desirable. Same scenario with DD1 two years ago, and actually had sex four days after c section - such a relief to be able to move normally!

vmcd28 · 07/07/2010 19:47

pinguina, I'm impressed!!
DomesticG0ddess, every thread we're on, we say virtually the same things, no matter what the subject!!

redbird79 · 07/07/2010 20:17

Sorry to barge in with such an intimate question, but to those ladies who are still having sex and have a bump- what position are you going for? We have found it diffiult (although hilarious) to try and figure out who should be where!

nunnie · 07/07/2010 20:21

Spoons for us and one I have no idea if it has a name, can can't really explain it but will give it ago.

I lie on my side and he lies side ways between my legs and I think you can work out the rest.

Blimey sex four days after c-section is impressive, my sex drive went off when DD was born, and took me ages to pluck up the courage as I had a fear of losing DH up there, but it was a VB so that might have made a difference

nymphadora · 07/07/2010 20:33

Spoons is the only position we can manage properly. My hips ache too much on all fours. I have a high drive but it's compromised by being tired so less sex than before but still plenty from dh perspective!

pinguina · 07/07/2010 21:35

Spoons is the only one really.

DH is younger and gorgeous and I have seen too many of my friends complain of no sex at all after saying no a few times. Even when I am a bit tired, I say yes. And when I am really exhausted, well I manage to make him happy in other ways...

PickleSarnie · 08/07/2010 09:18

For the first few weeks I felt so rotten that the only time I could face it was in the middle of the night because, for some reason, that was the only time I felt vaguely human. Think OH may have 'accidentally nudged' me awake on a few occasions.

Now at 30weeks I think I'm trying to make the most of feeling okay and get as much in before I'm the size of a bus and it becomes a logistical nightmare. Even now its spoons and variations on that theme for us. Tried on top but I get horrid round ligament pains and I'm scared off squashing him!

I agree with pinguina, it may sound a bit stepford wives but I generally say yes even when I can't be arsed. I pretty much always get into it once I start and I'm scared of saying no too many times that OH gives up trying.

vmcd28 · 08/07/2010 12:12

it's amazing what hormones do to you, cos the way I feel at moment (regarding sex), I wouldnt care if DH gave up trying completely!

It's funny how we seem to go off it completely or end up rampant!!

Katmaid · 09/07/2010 12:51

Hi, I'm so glad to read this because my hubby and I are still having sex as much as before (more even, he seems to find me irresistible in this state!) and I have been feedling a bit guilty about it, as if we shouldn't maybe be doing.
Thanks for providing a bit of reassurance!

lovechoc · 11/07/2010 13:13

I would say to those who aren't heavily pregnant get it as much as you can before you're the size of a whale because once you're near the end you just can't be bothered and it's too much effort

I'm 40 weeks and haven't had sex since 20-odd weeks - too much effort just now. Will have to wait til after the birth now. DH doesn't mind too much.

parkj83 · 11/07/2010 20:05

katmaid I'm exactly the same!

I can't get enough, and DH loves it when I'm pg, and is quite happy to oblige!

I don't feel guilty though - I see it as a way for us to both express our love for Fidget at the same time (cheesy, I know )

As for positions, when pg with DS, I was on top all the time, but with this one it varies. I wasn't so bothered in the early stages, as I also struggled with sickness, but as soon as that cleared up, well, DH was near enough tied to the bed!

I find I'm a bit to big round the bum for spooning to be comfortable, although I like the idea, I find I don't get enough stimulation...!

It doesn't help either that I tore very badly when birthing DS (forceps too) and I was stitched up in such a way that now when DH is behind me in any way, I can't feel a thing He loves it that way the best though

Thankfully he's very good at pushing certain buttons though...! lol

parkj83 · 11/07/2010 20:06

ps I'm 30 weeks atm

ladyjadey · 12/07/2010 10:13

I'm having as much as I can get and loving every minute of it! I feel very sexy and attractive when pregnant, much more so this time than with dd. I'd be in bed all day every day if I could get away with it, although I am too tired! As for positions, spoons, doggy, on the end of bed/chair, any old how we can manage it! and its great! Currently the size of a house at 34 weeks but loving it, and making the most as my libido went on holiday for about 2 years after last pregancy!

skyeplusbump · 12/07/2010 12:34

soooo,cant be bothered!
whitch is weird as last ime i was desperate and dp really couldnt face it, he really truly though he'd hurt the baby!
this time however he's been really up for it and im just not in the mood...ever!

anyone notice a diffrence bettween pregnancy's?! last time it was a girl,this ones a boy?!!!

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