What do you wish you knew during pregnancy?

[NewbieT]

Hello mums out there,

With the benefit of hindsight, is there anything you wish you'd done (or not done) in pregnancy that you could let us first-timers know about? I have already picked up a few idea here, such as vitamin E cream for stretchmarks, pelvic floor exercises and massaging the perineum (quite an eye-opener learning about that one!), just wondering what other tips are out there?

Thanks!

T

Not bought all the baby equipment while in a hormone induced haze. Mamas and papas stuff doesn't seem as shiny and desirable once you actually have a baby! There's so much stuff I realise I ought to have bought, but having wasted money on useless stuff that seemes vital when pregnant, you don't want to go out and spend more when you've had them.

Also, think about your boobs - get new bras as they grow, even if you'll only be wearing them a few weeks until they get even bigger. And vitamin E cream on them - not just the tummy!!

Nothing to add (1st pregnancy) but will be watching this thread with interest!

I already have questions - what vit E cream is good? Body shop? And if anyone wants to recommend some cheapo bras I would appreciate that too!

Newbie perineum massaging is completely new to me... think I might put off looking that up for a bit...

Thanks LolaKnickers! Funny you should say that one abotu the bras, I've got a bit bigger (am 12 weeks) but am just making do with my 'fat' bras for now... been too tight to shell out {blush} when they might change quickly, but you're right really... they deserve to be looked after!

Thanks for the tips.

seriously - get to an underwear shop pronto. I've been there, squeezed in, thinking it would be a waste of money. It isn't!! They can get really painful as it goes on if the bra is too small.

I have got mine from Debenhams - think £14ish which is OK. Only got 2, both totally plain T-shirt bras and flesh coloured so I can wear them under anything.

I have used bio-oil which is good but v expensive. I think there are some cheaper brands which do exactly the same thing. Intend to look when current bottle runs out.

I like bio oil, and managed to get it for half the price boots were selling it for by googling, I think it was from fragrancemad.com I like the mothercare bras - t shirt style pink with white dots and black with white dots, they are ever so comfy, and about £16, also do matching knickers (prob the only time I ever match!)

Thanks LolaKnickers . I should do. I WILL do! Half of it is penny-pinching and the other half is just knackeredness tbh, but I'll get there!

Hello ILovePonyo , I know, perineum massaging eh, they must have missed that one out of my GCSE biology. Hope all going well with your pregnancy!

Haha Newbie, perineum massage is a new one for me! Eek! Pg is going well so far thanks, only 8+3 and dying to tell people! Need to keep my trap shut... Hope your pg is going well too

goodlifemummy i like bio oil too, smells lovely. Palmers cocoa butter has been recommended to me too?

Right am going to do some bra shopping this weekend, its a bit of a chore but you are all right, needs to be done!

I very carefully applied Bio-oil to my stomach every day and still don't have a single stretchmark there and it is my due date tomorrow. But my boobs and thighs are striped purple. So apply oil or cream basically everywhere just in case.

Also give up on sexy pants. Just give up. I ended up spending far too money trying to find flattering pants, and was not possible. Just be comfy, you'll be happier!

you can get bio-oil 200 ml from amazon for 11 pounds with free delivery! It's half price of boots and free delivery...

So now, what is massaging the perineum??

I liked Anita bras. Got mine off the internet quite cheap . They're microfiber (so super soft) and they have a very good stretch to them - I only ended up buying 2 (1st around 13 weeks and then one size up around 28 weeks).

Another thing I'd wished someone told me was that you can get stretch marks regardless of whether you use the creams or not. I used the Palmer's one as well sas Bio Oil religiously - literally, three times a day (alternating the cream and oil), yet I still got stretch marks due to having too much water in the last three weeks. I just wouldn't have stressed about it that much , if I knew this.

Another thing: the hospital bag. I had it packed full of clothes for during/after labour, night gown, toiletries, baby things, including nappy cream and all that.. you know the set. I ended up actually taking out and using only an oversized black t-shirt during the 2+ days there. Honestly, couldn't stand any clothes during labour (and found the midwives doppler checks very irritating too). All you really need is a set of clothes for the baby (with one extra bodysuit, just in case), something extra comfortable for yourself to wear (most likely, you really won't care whether you look good or even decent in labour) and couple of basic toiletries (think toothbrush & paste). I found that everything else I'd packed I either didn't need, forgot I had or just didn't bother using.

One more thing (IMHO): what you need most during labour/birth is a well prepared birth partner, who knows you wishes and can keep you free you from any unwanted attention/questions/procedures. So spend the time preparing and talking to the person who'll be with you.

Bio oil is amazing, and a little goes a long way otherwise you'll feel distinctly slimy! I'm 40 wks now and only have stretch marks the one place I neglected...bum cheeks! Very annoyed as I have religiously done boobs, thighs and tum daily.

Mookymoo - I think I may be applying a little too liberaly. I was thinking it barely lasts any time at all!! I did tummy and bum but missed the boobs first time round - big mistake!!

Actually, I wished I'd taken more clothes/pjs to hospital as I bled really badly and ended up with nothing to wear.

And as OH was at work and nobody else was allowed on ward till visiting hours(stupid) I had to sit in my blood stained PJs and wait for him to turn up hours later..

And take some food to hospital, sandwiches/crisps/choc are all good, I missed all the meals for the day and was bloody starving by breakfast time!

Agree with 5stone on plenty clothes. Also plenty of babygros for the baby. I was at how many changes of clothes she needed. I was all set with the "leaving hospital outfit" but had to send my mum for extra babygros!! People will buy cute outfits - buy the babygros!!

That you really need hardly any "stuff" to look after a newborn and that when they say you will have "some bleeding" after the birsh, they mean floods and you will need loads of really huge STs.

That if you need a catheter (because of CS) you won't be able to wear your PJ trousers and really should have taken a nightdress to hospital

Clarins body oil is amazing and also bio oil too.

Bras great from Mothercare.

Take lots of photos of the pregnant you and treat yourself often, enjoy all the positive attention you get while pregnant..

Get your hair cut before the baby is born snd do other things like weekends away as becomes harder after the birth...

Go with the flow!! Best advice i was ever given :-D What will be will be.

If you're meant to get stretch marks, you will, cream or not. Bit like morning sickness.
Whether you're going to have an easy or difficult labour is not up to you, so stop worrying, it won't change anything. Just go with the flow at the time.
Don't compare your baby to other people's or charts and figures, use your own eyes and common sense. You'll know when things are right or wrong.
AND it goes soooo fast! It might not seem like it but you will look back fondly, even at the not so nice bits, through rose tinted glasses. So try and take it all in and enjoy!

Blood. Wish I'd had some warning about just how much BLOOD there would be!!!

My top tips:

1. Relax and - if possible - enjoy it.

1. Be prepared for totally random stuff to make you cry (the London Marathon? why?) And stuff that should make you cry to make you angry.

1. Avoid programmes featuring people about to give birth (that episode of Friends where Rachel's in labour for 2 days is not what you need right now...)

1. Take chocolate to the hospital with you. (I had to send DH out to buy chocolate part way through the labour. DD1 arrived ten minutes after I ate it. I swear it was the Twix that did it...)

1. Unless you find people in white coats reassuring, remember that you don't have to go down the 'medical' route. (Another reason to avoid TV birth stuff, particularly US programmes - they're always on their backs with legs in stirrups. Haven't they heard of gravity?!)

1. Don't take your size 10 jeans to hospital to wear after baby's born (unless you're normally a size 4). Sorry, it's not that quick.

1. Ignore any advice that anyone gives you (including this). It's your pregnancy. You make the rules (which is nice).

1. Have a biscuit...

I so agree with everything Hhhmmmmm said.

And I did pregnancy yoga with both of my pregnancies (and I am not a yoga or even an exerciser normally) and it was the one night a week I slept like a baby and of all my mummy friends those of us that did yoga (all different ages and shapes) had relatively easy/quick labours - but that could just be a coincidence.

But most of all enjoy it and make sure you take a little time to pamper yourself as you will NEVER EVER EVER get this solitary, guilt free time again.

Read books
Go to the cinema, theatre, concerts - anything with a seat
Sit in a cafe and read a newspaper
Go out, then go out again, then go out some more until you never want to go out again.

You will have plenty of time to sit in and catch up on DVD box sets

A friend recommended facial wipes for the hospital which I was really grateful for as the air conditioning really dries up your skin and was great when bed ridden after c-section.

Also the best investment I made was a baba sling I got online at boohoobaby it saved me buying a double buggy! My no 2 arrived just 18 months after no 1 but I used the baba sling when out and about initially with both then no1 was treated to a micro scooter which was loads of fun and freed up the pram for no 2. Why spend a fortune on a travel system if you don't get full use out of it!?

that I was going to be pregnant 3 times over winter. I'd so have invested in a good maternity coat rather than wearing DH's.

That I didn't need to pack my hair straighteners and that breast feeding would be 12 out of 10 on the pain scale.

Do your pelvic floor exercises EVERY day before and after the birth. I am on pregnancy number 2 and seriously wished I had been more diligent with mine

Don't pack too much crap in your hospital bag.

Don't bother buying the following - baby baths, top and tail boxes they sell in baby shops, parasols for your pushchair, cot bumpers, expensive baby clothes - all useless and a waste of money.

Take as much maternity leave as you can BEFORE the baby is born (much more fun than having it at the other end)