Breastfeeding V's Bottle Feeding

[lolabanola]

Just being down right nosey now! ....

I have been reading up on the whole breast v's bottle feeding and I personally have decided that I want to bottle feed. Without wanting to turn this into a whole debate on how 'Breast Is Best' I was just wondering what everyone else plans to do when they have their baby? Are you breast or bottle feeding?

Ive decided that im bottle feeding, it doesnt mean i will love my baby any more or less than if i was breast feeding its a personal choice that i have choose am and not feeling guilty about other peoples negative comments just do what feels best for you x

i too don't agree that it's just down to luck, and that those of us who succeed were just lucky enough to be able to do it easily

i've struggled through pretty much every problem you can have whilst breastfeeding. it was NOT an easy journey, in fact it was really quite hideous at many points.

would i change it? no

Gilli, no-one has suggested, or eveer would suggest that a bottle-feeding mum loved their baby any less

i am sure you love your baby more than anythin in the world.

that does not mean that formula is the best thing for the baby though does it? it may be best for you, but as leonie says, it's never the best choice nutritionally for a baby

Lolabanola - when are you actually due back at work?

give yourself a pat on the back Leonie, you're a much better mum than the mothers who formula feed for whatever reason and they should be guilt ridden for not doing their best for their children for the rest of their lives.

OP - breast is best but do the best you can/what you can manage. There'll be plenty of things you'll be judged on for years to come.

breastfed DS1 and will also be breastfeeding DS2 when he arrives in the near future. Not ruling out FFing in the future, but intend to breastfeed.

I do agree with many that breastfeeding takes a lot of hard work and effort for some - I remember the early days and I was in tears just trying to make it work but I was determined that it was going to work and nothing would stop me on my mission to breastfeed DS1. It's a small sacrifice to make in order to give your child the best start in life. All the hard work paid off and I fed him for 7 months until he decided to come off the breast on his own.

As a first time mum-to-be, who is planning to BF, and very much hoping to be able to -

This thread is just utterly horrible. I'm not blaming the OP for starting it, at all - I think she was a bit naive in her language, but nobody's bloody perfect. So much guilt, judgement, defensiveness - thanks to this thread, I now know that if I try and fail to BF (and I have, or had, a positive and determined outlook, but understand that with the best will in the world, sometimes we don't get to do what we want), I will feel exactly that, a FAILURE. Some of the allegedly pro-BF speeches on here have done more to make me anxious about the whole experience than anything else I've read.

And FWIW, I don't see how an UNhappy mother makes a happy baby.

It all went so nice at one point too

oh don't worry about judgements barkfox (specially not those from strangers on t'internet. motherhood thickens the skin

Lola, you dont have to be a martyr or suffer cheese grater nipples or other such dire pain, or even have a sh*t-tip house like mine or have just luck in order to breastfeed successfully.

a lot of mothers who go on to provide support for new mums had it hard at first and found support thin on the ground and they want to make a difference.

in order to make your own luck, as my mum would say, you can prepare yourself for success.

The most important thing I think you can do at this stage is go to a breastfeeding group and just watch and listen. You may want to have early words with the facilitator before hand to let her know that you are probably going go bottle feed in the end but you do not want to close your options off early.

Going to a group like this may start to normalise breastfeeding for you and if you were to decide to give it a go, then you already have a support network in place to turn to in case things start to go, erm, tits up, thereby avoiding the cheese grater nips, copious tears, etc.

If you google the NCT, ABM, LLL RealBabyMilk, Baby Café, or Little Angels, you will definitely be able to find one near you. All these organisations have online databases to search for support groups countrywide.

good luck with your baby, however you feed him or her.

barkfox I've got to say I agree wholeheartedly with you. I came on this thread as a first time mum to be, hoping to find unbiased, helpful information about the different methods of feeding. I didn't come on here to watch women get flamed for FF, or get dire warnings about how hideous it's all going to be.

Do you know what? I'm going to try and BF my baby when he's born. I'm going to go to a support group near me, and try my best. But honestly? I think happy mum DOES equal a happy baby. If it gets too much for me, then yes, shock horror, I'm going to 'give up'. Note: I'm not going to give up feeding him. I'm going to either try expressing, or I'm going to FF. Do I care what anyone else thinks? No. It's funny how, if you met quite a lot of the judgey people in real life; they probably wouldn't say 'boo' to a goose. People get all brave behind their computers, don't they?

If you're about to flame me for this, then you'd better wait; because you haven't even read the best bits: I'm going to use disposable nappies too, because I can't be bothered with reusable ones When DS is older, I'll probably let him eat Birdseye Chicken Dippers, I'll go back to work (because I enjoy it), take him on holiday to hot foreign countries, and next month; we're moving into a house with a balcony at the back. Hell, I'll probably take him to McDonalds, too. And he can have a Fruit Shoot.

I haven't read through all of the posts so apologies if repeating. I breastfed exclusively for 6 months and mixed fed until 9 months. The first few weeks were hell and I gave myself the goal of getting to 6 weeks as that is when scientific evidence on any advantage gets scant. It was important to me to try and do it because of:

1. Immmunity - often friends with formula fed babies had picked up more colds. I have a strong immune system and figured if I could pass this on not just good for the baby but good for me. Ill children don't sleep.
2. Convenience - Getting up and sterilising was not appealing,
3. Bonding - It feels really weird and freaky at first but in the middle of the night when it is just you and your baby it is magical and I wouldn't want to have misse it.

However, if you can't do it, it is really not the end of the world as your baby will be fine but my personal opinion is that unless you have a massive phobia try to get through a week or two so that they get the colostrum/immunity and if you can, go to six weeks.

After that, see how you feel but anything is better than nothing so best not to make the decision until you have tried for a bit.

The pros for the mother are the weight loss - any other diet that means you are allowed an extra 500 calories a day?

The cons for me were loss of sex drive. Plus, the clothing restrictions can get tiresome and it is not nice having leaky boobs. Plus it can be more tiring as just like pregnancy, the baby is getting the goodness.

There is way too much pressure and not enough balance. Some midwifes make you feel bad if you give up before 6 months and a freak if you give up after 6 months.

I would say, don't have a plan just try it. If you don't like it or the baby doesn't take to it, it is not big deal despite what some people say.

Ive been breasfeeding for 2.5 years
I understand if someone can breasfeed, but to choose bottle while you can breastfed? its just wrong in my opinion.

Just want to say that something else those of you who are planning on breast feeding may find, when you start it, is that it isn't painful at all!

I know there's an element of "forewarned is forearmed" in letting other women know that bf can be painful, but you can work through it, blah blah blah. But it isn't painful for everyone - I always find it straightforward and not at all painful (I have bf all 4 of my DC). This is sheer luck! (I have pregnancies where I vomit every day for 9 months, so I kind of deserve some luck by the time they come out) My DH is incredibly supportive because he is a scientist and very well informed on the benefits, so happily brings me breakfast in bed and does the housework so I can keep my strenght up for bfing . I think I, who bf each child for 18 months very easily and with such amazing support, is less admirable and worthy of commendation than someone who is the first in the family to bf and gets no support, but does it anyway; or someone who finds it really painful but seeks help and tries; or someone who hates the thought of bfing but does it for a few days or weeks to give their baby that initial immune protection. And, motherhood isn't a competition. We all just do what we can.

jazziejeff Fruitshoots? This thread really is going to turn ugly now!

JazzieJeff - you can't be bothered? Who should then? Your child in 30 years? Or will it only be the children who wore cotton nappies who can be bothered 'cos the others are all too fat and lazy having been FF and weaned on fruitshoots an shoved in front of the TV?

Got to be a bit careful on this thread.. but am sort of asking a question of my own here as there are comments here which interest me.

(TMI here so pls don't read anyone who doesn't like blood)

I did get all the usual mastitis problem. But did anyone also end up with deformed nipples and more blood than milk in baby's mouth as well as expressed milk after 2 weeks? Doctors/HV were begging me to stop breastfeeding whenever they checked my breasts. I felt like my baby was a vampire as he was drinking more blood out of my breast and milk. Gosh, I'm laughing now thinking back but it really wasn't that funny at that time.

Just curious when people say they had to try very hard in the beginning, is this also what they went through. I can file it in my head for my next DC when deciding on whether to go onto bottle or not next time I'm all blood and gore again.