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Original poster

Does DH have to keep to visiting hours?

28 replies

PixieCake · 30/06/2010 10:48

Can anyone who has had a baby in an NHS hospital tell me whether your partner is allowed to stay with you all the time, or only during visiting hours?

I'm having a C-section so will be in for a few nights, and want him there all the time to help with the baby etc.

Maybe it varies between trusts (I'm Kingston) but is it generally ok?

Thanks

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LowLevelWhinging · 30/06/2010 10:50

In the two hospitals I had babies in, partners were allowed in from 8am - 8pm. Other visitors were more restricted.

DanJARMouse · 30/06/2010 10:51

All hospitals I have given birth in (3 different ones) it has always been dads can stay from 10am - 9pm. With other visitors restricted to 3-4pm and 7-8pm

I was always out as soon as possible with mine (no csec though) although I had to stay in for 24hrs with DS, and DH was there for some of the time, but he had DD1 and DD2 to look after!

japhrimel · 30/06/2010 10:55

I haven't heard of an NHS hospital that lets them stay all the time. It's one reason why I'm hoping for a home birth!

LowLevelWhinging · 30/06/2010 11:00

It's just not practical to have partners there 24 hours as there just isn't the space overnight. Plus it's already noisy enough on the wards with everybody's babies crying as they do. The midwives and nursing assistants (or whatever they're called) are there to help with feeding changing overnight.

japhrimel · 30/06/2010 11:05

One thing I have heard is that if you pay to get a private room, they're less fussed about your partner staying beyond visiting hours as they won't disturb anyone but you.

nunnie · 30/06/2010 11:09

Visiting hours for bithing partners in my local is 12pm-8pm, everyone else is 3.30-5.

I seem to remember there was talk about allowing partners to spend the nights o the ward in some hospitals, but not sure if that ended up being just talk.

5DollarShake · 30/06/2010 11:10

I had a private room (NHS) and DH still wasn't allowed to stay beyond normal visiting hours (but that doesn't mean some hospitals / MWs don't use their discretion).

The MWs are there to help you right through the night, though.

LowLevelWhinging · 30/06/2010 11:15

I also had a private room and while they turned a blind eye to him staying a wee bit longer, he still had to go.

5DollarShake · 30/06/2010 11:28

PixieCake - just to reassure you (assuming this is your first?) - I know it seems scary to be in sole charge of your new baby, but it really won't be as bad as you imagine, and the MWs are there to help with anything you need, especially if you're sore after the c-section.

nymphadora · 30/06/2010 12:10

Here is 10-12, 1-4 6-8. 2-4/7-8 are general visitors rest is partners only. I'm hoping for a private room where they won't be as tight on it.

The 2 per bed thing bothers me as when the dds come , them + dh will go over the limit

DanJARMouse · 30/06/2010 12:16

I had my DH, my 2 DDs and my dad at the hospital in the afternoon and it was fine. The girls didnt stay long to be honest, but I think it gets overlooked when its the babies siblings!

In the evening my best friend, another friend and DH were there and nothing was said!

nymphadora · 30/06/2010 12:33

LAst time I was in they got twitchy and kept asking people to leave . NOt maternity though. I'm not good in hospital so I get particularly anxious & am better with family around as much as possible.

diggingintheribs · 30/06/2010 12:39

postnatal wards will make you stick to visiting but they may be more flexible with a private room

you will get plenty of help with the baby and your husband will get a good rest before you get home when he will be most help!

Unfortunately on a ward having partners stay overnight would be too disruptive for others. My doctor friend has also told me some stories which also explain why they need the ward empty at night but they're not very nice!

horseymum · 30/06/2010 16:52

ours is only a couple of hours in the afternoon and evening for partners and one hour each for the rest. to be honest, it makes things calmer and more peaceful, you don't really want everyone elses visitors (even their husbands) there all the time, especially if you are having checks etc or feeding problems. you are not in there for long usually and it gives your dh time to rest and get his strength up too! you can be discharged after 6 hours in many places if eveything is fine. baby will be asleep most of the time and you get help from staff with feeding and nappies if you need it. i honestly didn't think it was harsh. you may be in for less time than you think, even with a section so don't worry too much yet. (just read you are expecting a section sorry)

HarderToKidnap · 30/06/2010 17:40

Kingston is 7am-10pm for partners, with a bit of discretion on the midwife's part. Expect your partner to be thrown out by midnight though!

DetectivePotato · 30/06/2010 19:53

I wish my hospital was like all the ones above!! Partner visiting hours are 10-12, go away for 2 hours then come back for normal visiting times of 2-8. Its a bloody pain as I had an epidural and couldn't get up so I was calling on the MW quite a bit for things like water and stuff. Having DH there more would really have taken the pressure off them.

LouAnnVanHouten · 30/06/2010 20:01

The hospital I had my 3rd in was like horseymum and it was great. I had an emcs and I was exhausted and I needed rest, not lots of chat from my own visitors and others. The MWs hellped me if I needed anything. When I had my 2nd I was in labour on the ward as there were no labour rooms and someone elses twatty DH was shouting at me to shut the fuck up when I had contractions. Having other peoples partners around is awful, especially if you are sharing a ward with a load of teenagers arsing about.

ChunkyPickle · 30/06/2010 20:17

Now, I don't know how successful you would be but according to AIMS

www.aims.org.uk/Journal/Vol17No4/ChoiceAbusedConcept.htm

From the second section down:

You can choose to have your husband, partner, friend with you when you are induced and in early labour - providing it is within hospital visiting times - what women are not told is that the woman can insist that she needs their support and does not wish to be left on her own.

You can choose to have a second support person with you (and the research shows this is beneficial) but only if there is adequate space to accommodate them - what women are not told is that this is the woman's decision, not the hospital's.

I don't know how that would cover cesarean recovery, but if you feel really strongly on this a quick mail to AIMS to find out what your rights are might be helpful.

babynelly2010 · 30/06/2010 21:29

Wait a minute, I am confused, the husband can't stay 24 hours with you in the NHS hospital, sorry I've never been to one...
What if the baby comes in during non visitor hours? Are you on your own then?

LowLevelWhinging · 30/06/2010 21:41

IME partners had to stick to their visiting times (i.e. 8am-8pm) on the ante natal ward. Once women were in established labour, i.e. 4+cm dilated, they moved to the labour ward where partners are allowed to stay 24 hours.

After having the baby, (or a few hours later, depending how busy they are) you go to the post natal ward where partner visiting hours apply again.

It did seem harsh on the women who were labouring painfully on the ante natal ward but hadn't got to 4cm yet (I was in for a couple of weeks prior to having DS2 so saw a fair few come and go).

babynelly2010 · 30/06/2010 21:48

LowLevel thank you for clarification.
So if you book the private room, do you stay in it at all time prior labor during and after? Or it is only for the labor itself?

PlasticCenturion · 30/06/2010 21:53

I had an em cs late at night. DH was sent home straight away as it was outside visiting hours.

He was allowed back 10 am until midday and then again 7pm until 9pm. So four hours a day.

LowLevelWhinging · 30/06/2010 21:54

I can only speak of two hospitals that I've experienced, but the labour ward is all separate rooms anyway. So you would only ask for a private room on the ante (if you go there at all) and post natal wards. And they give priority to women with greater needs.

notso · 30/06/2010 21:58

With DD dh was with me from being admitted until we were back on ante-natal, it was about 5am and we'd been in since 12 the previous day. He was there while we got settled and then went home for some sleep. He was allowed back any time until 11 at night and other visitors could come between 10 and 5 but if you had loads they were asked to leave at meal times.

With DS we got back to ante-natal about 7am and he stayed until 10, went to get DD and came back about 12. I was the only one on the ward, and was allowed to have any ammount of visitors at any time.

DetectivePotato · 01/07/2010 09:40

Paying for a private room is a pointless waste of money. At my hospital it costs £80 per night and if someone actually needs it for a medical reason, you will be turfed out and not get your money back. Partners will not be allowed to stay whether you have a private room or not.

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