Saying NO to people in last 8 weeks of pregnancy.

[SkaterGrrrrl]

Am feeling quite stressed... DC#1 is due at the end of August, and after a very busy year DH and I are trying to keep our diaries clear for the last few weekends before the baby arrives. We still need to do the baby's room but we also want time alone together. We have even declined a relative's wedding invitation as we need to save money and have some time at home.

However we are inundated with requests to meet up with friends and one person has even asked to come and spend a weekend... anyone else feeling like this... and any tips on saying no?

Be honest with them. If you say you need some time to yourselves before baby arrives, then stick to it.

Do bear in mind that it might also be the last time for a little while before you see your friends too, so enjoy your freedom while you still have it

Can you just explain kindly that you are tired because you are pregnant and that you just want to take it easy and prepare for your baby's arrival, etc?

Friends won't know how you are feeling but will presumably be understanding if you just tell them nicely...they are your friends!

Yes, I feel like this. I haven't had anyone asking to come and stay, though, that's a bit much!

I've had (perfectly well meaning) childless friends not understand why I don't want to meet them in bars at 10pm, on the grounds that I 'don't have a baby yet'. Which is true, but I'm also 36 weeks pregnant with my 1st, and want to take things as easy as I can (am still working long hours as well, which doesn't help).

It's perfectly legitimate to say you're tired/uncomfortable because you're pregnant, and so don't want to do x. I think it's a bit harder for partners - they aren't physically pregnant, and can face a bit of almost 'stag night' pressure to come out and have a drink etc 'while you still can...' etc. Which gets a bit tiresome. But you have every right to draw lines and decide what you are happy with in terms of socialising. It won't be enjoyable for you if you are knackered and wanting to be somewhere else, or worrying about what you haven't done. (you can also remind people you will still be around after having a baby - yes, everything changes, but we don't disappear in a puff of smoke!).

Yes don't worry about feeling like this. I really want to make the most of our own time before DC1 is born, but feeling stifled and emotional.
MIL called last week to invite us to her birthday meal...which is on my due date
While I want to keep myself occupied I couldn't help thinking this was a bit selfish on her part!

My DD being next Monday that is!

I'm just going to be polite and say no too tired or whatever. From now on (am 32 wks), what DH and I do is basically my decision and what I feel up to doing. I'm getting very good at being selfish!

Actually, I have quite enjoyed seeing my friends and having them to stay in the last two weeks. I am 40 weeks no, and been on maternity leave, with hubby at work still, which I have found a bit lonely at times! We've only had very close friends though - they would be happy if I popped off for a nap.

I would strongly recommend that this is the time when you absolutely please yourself and do things that suit you. I am 40 weeks today, and in the last two months we have had family stay and several people stay for weekends, and I finally put my foot down over DH's plans to have friends stay last weekend. It is too tiring, and if you WANT space, then you must have it.

We have been so busy with things that we have not got the nursery done yet, and as we bought a cot bed that was too old for the baby, we do not even have anywhere for it to sleep yet. And I am now really starting to panic and to wish that I had just said no.

Now on my agenda... how to say no to the family who are due to arrive next Thursday, and the 'good friends' who want to come from 4 hours away to stay for a long weekend (Thursday-Tuesday) to 'see the baby' in two weekends time.

Seriously, as someone who has found myself roped into having guests, i recommend strongly that you ignore all pressures and do what YOU want and need.

Thank you very much for your advice.

at the MIL inviting herself round on EDD!

Will try and be nice but firm - I really need to get the baby's room ready. If s/he arrive early we are going to be caught short!