Jaffa1972, this sounds like an awful situation, I'm really sorry.
It's really easy to get macho about other people's choices and lives, cos we aren't dealing with all the emotions you are experiencing - but it really does sound as if he's done nothing to help himself, and if that persists, he's going to make life very difficult for you too. So I agree with the idea of some calm and clear ultimatums, and I think sooner rather than later is a good idea.
I can't tell you how frustrated I am by men (and IME it is usually men) who acknowledge that they are depressed, but refuse to contemplate anti-depressants or counselling. There is a kind of narcissistic isolation that happens with depression ('no understands me') - which is a big hurdle to be got over. And the idea that counselling is patronising or somehow won't be 'intelligent' enough I've heard a lot before! My only answer has been that you can be intellectually as smart as anything, but that doesn't mean you are emotionally intelligent, or capable. And sorry, but does he think he's the only person that's ever suffered from depression? Or that he has a special unique kind of depression that will baffle medical science?? The idea that anti-depressants or counselling (or anything) won?t help him is a self fulfilling prophecy. [I think the blood pressure tablets you mention must be beta blockers. They are prescribed for panic attacks, and can have a calming/sleepy effect, but they don?t have any fundamental or lasting effect on low mood].
That sounds really harsh, but if you?ve spent a couple of years in this situation, with him doing little or nothing to sort himself out, now that you?re pregnant, you have a really good reason to draw a line and demand that he sort himself out. (I don?t understand how he can have been with you for 2 years and embarked on a not unwelcome pregnancy with you, without his family being aware. That sounds very odd to me, although obviously I don?t know all the details ? but it?s really clear that you can?t wait or rely on him to address things in his own time.)
I?d recommend that you get as clear as you can be about what you expect from him (e.g. take practical steps to tackle depression, sort out introduction to family!) ? and be as calm as you can be when you talk to him about it. It?s very hard, especially when you are feeling vulnerable yourself, but if you are emotional and teary, it will make it easy for him to dismiss you as making unreasonable demands on him.
My hunch is that he will throw a big tantrum and accuse you of being uncaring! so you may have to be prepared to be cast as the big bad witch for a while ? but remind yourself you?re doing it for yourself, for your baby, and for him. Even if he?s not in a position to see it.
Good luck, and I?m sorry you are in this situation, it must be very worrying and draining.