sex

[addictedishavingagirl]

me and dh have had quite a healthy sex life so far during this pregnancy.

but now i can feel baby kicking, it just feels wrong to be having sex! dh doesnt understand why it feels wrong, so i asked him if he would have sex with a child watching us - obviously no, so i explained this is how i felt, i can constantly feel her kick, its like shes watching us and it just feels so wrong!

dh still doesnt seem to understand, has anyone else experienced this? or know how i can get over this? or even have any idea how i can properly explain to dh how i feel?

(hes not unhappy or sulking at the lack of sex btw, he just thinks i'm a little bit crazy and i like him to understand whats going on in my head)

oh, i have to go out (didnt realise the time) but will be back later.

I get where you are coming from, but also think it's just a little crazy Well, not crazy, but you are maybe overthinking the situation.

The baby may be growing and moving, but she can't in any meaningful way think (the neurons which allow "thought" to pass between them don't start to work until 26 or 27 weeks, and don't work properly until well after birth!), so don't worry about her "watching" or having any conception of what's going on between you and your DH, because she's simply not aware of anything much at the moment.

I think it's a fairly common feeling to have though. I can only advise relaxing and trying to focus on other things and not the baby if you are "having a go" in the bedroom, but obviously only do what you are comfortable with - DH may just have to put up without it for a while if you feel very strongly about it.

Apparently it makes them feel happy, as they get the same sort of rush as we do during an orgasm

I feel a bit weird about it too (even though I know it makes no logical sense).

dappymoo, that doesnt help!!

jacksmybaby i'm glad i'm not the only one.

i think the other problem is she wakes up and starts kicking about the time we go to bed. so its really difficult not to think about her!

right i'll try relaxing and not thinking about her and try in the middle of the night when shes asleep!

The happier you are, the happier she will be...It can't do either of you any harm whatsoever. But then again I do know what you mean...We used to take a relaxing bath beforehand as it seemed to calm the baby,then get down to business.

I'm the same in that as soon as I lay down my baby starts to wriggle and although in the beginning it's a bit distracting it tends to stop once we get going (or maybe I don't notice it not sure).

The baby can't see and even if it could would have no idea what you are doing and you will certainly not give it awful memories for later life. Soon DH will be able to feel it too if you are touching so he may understand a bit more then too.

For me, sex is important and so is my relationship with my husband which whether we like it or not are connected. When pregnant the first time my sex drive was through the roof whereas this time it's disappeared but I do make the effort to get in the mood and am usually glad I did. Have you tried a different time of day when the baby is less active? Good luck with it all

In any case, you're going to be having sex after it's born and the baby's sleeping in the room with you, so I wouldn't worry!