how to not tell people at a hen do.....

[RobynLou]

I have an all day hen do to go to on Saturday, with a group of good friends who will REALLY notice that I'm not drinking (it's v unlike me not to have a drink or 3 when out )
I'm only 9ish weeks pg though, and I don't want to "come out" yet.
What makes it even harder is that most of them know we're planning on having another baby soonish...
any ideas of how I can get away with it, and I just don't think they'll buy the old "I'm on antibiotics" chestnut.

you could try saying you're not drinking or cutting down as TTC or planning to soon?

You could get the first round in and make sure nobody knows what you bought - tonic on its own can look like a g&t or V&t

or get a round of bucks fizz or cocktails - but make sure your drink is alcohol free...

the only difficulty then is making sure no well meaning person buys you alcohol after that....

Tricky one.

There are 101 stories that you can make up, but to be really honest your friends will most probably see straight through them anyway, especially if you usually like a drink.

I had a similar situation and gave the old antibiotic excuse, but it's just soooo obvious.

On the plus side, even though people sussed it out straight away, they had the decency to nod politely and let it go rather than making a big deal of it. I think people are all so aware of the early risks these days that even if they do guess they might not say anything.

The other thing you could try is pretending to drink (accepting the glass and then 'losing' it, having tonic water and pretending it's got gin in it, etc) but it's quite an effort to keep up all day.

It's a tricky one this, depends I think on how comfortable you are lying .

You could embellish on the antibiotics line by having an actual complaint - e.g. 'I've had a really bad UTI/ bladder/ kidney infection which is just clearing up and I'm really not supposed to drink while I'm on the meds' - a bit of detail always helps a good lie!

Or you could pretend to have had food poisoning the day before.

I managed this by saying I had given it up for Lent, but you're a bit far off Easter for that on!

that one, I mean.

I would second Pixie - most people, even if they guess, will not ask you to your face if they can tell you want to keep it quiet.

I had this problem on Saturday when it was my OWN hen do! I told my closest friend and when her or I went to the bar it was fine as I'd have a lemonade.
For other drinks she surrepticiously (sp?) took mine when i put it down and so drank 2 drinks for every 1 round. Needless to say she had a VERY good time!

I got away with not doing shots so all in all no-one even batted an eyelid!

you're right, they'll almost certainly guess, they're almost all really good old friends who will see straight through me whatever I say, but they'll just politely pretend they don't know (and then gossip when I'm not there...)

I thought about the pretending to drink thing, but I couldn't keep that up all day/bare to waste that many perfectly good drinks!

When I went to a BBQ before I was ready to tell anyone, I said that I went on a massive bender the night before and couldnt face a drink.

can you be the designated driver?

I've never taken a single lesson, and the do's in central london, so we'll all be on the tube/bus.
I think I might just say noting unless someone questions me, then it'll just have to be the antibiotic line...

it's a picnic and activities and a meal before the bar at night, so rather obv which bottle my drinks are poured from....

are there any other non serious ailments I could have which would not allow me to drink? the antibio line is so worn and obvious....

babyoco they just wouldn't buy it, I generally swear by hair of the dog....oh the curse of normally being a party girl.

Could you maybe say you don't like drinking and eating so are saving yourself for the night time event, by which time everyone else will be too tipsy to notice anyway?

cirrhosis of the liver?

tortoise, ha ha ha.....
I'm not THAT bad.

5ITBOTN that's a good idea... I might get away with that.... say I'm saving my drinking for the night....

Can you have at least one partner in crime? I went on a 2 day boozy hen weekend last summer when I was also 9 weeks pregnant. It was with girls from work that I didn't want to tell yet. I did however let the hen know, and the girl I was sharing a room with. Didn't make a fuss but if asked what I was drinking I just said vodka and lemonade (just lemonade, obviously!) and we 'shared' a bottle of wine with the meal. In the days I just said I was saving it for night.

Agree with 5intheback that after a certain point everyone will probably be that pissed they won't have a clue what you are or are not drinking. If anyone does guess they will almost definitely keep it to themselves. I would avoid the antiobiotics excuse you might as well just tell them as they will definitely guess!

Hee. No, but I bet no-one would call you on it.

you could be on a detox diet - you've been overdoing it and you need to cut back so will limit yourself to evening drinks only.

Then: just have one in your hand, put it down, pick it up, water it down, even sip it (the occasional sip is not going to do any harm, honestly!) and have a glass of soft drink as well, or non-alco cocktail or something.

I had to go to a wedding when 6w pg - I had half a glass of fizz for the toasts and then soft for the rest of the wedding - but I was designated driver so no one guessed.

I think TTC is a good one esp if most of your friends know/suspect this already. It's sort of half close to the truth too so you might feel less guilty about the lying!

Have fun.

they will guess!!!! dont even bother!

If they're really good friends then if the worst happened at any point you'd probably be telling them and depending on them for support. So, perhaps the easiest thing is to come out and tell them then swear them to secrecy. I had a friends wedding when I was 7 weeks and she would have known in seconds that I was up-duffed had I not drunk alcohol (since am generally a bit of a lush when it comes to booze) so I told her and the other good friend there. They would have been the first people I would have spoken to if it had all gone wrong so it was actualy reassuring to get the secret out there with them.

The worst case scenario actually happened to me last year... went on a hen do at 5 weeks pg and ended up having a mc a week later . I was SOOO glad I had only told one close friend on the hen do. It would have been hideous to have to tell a whole load of people.

Obviously it depends on how close you are with them and how much you would tell them if things did you wrong. Obviously also goes without saying I hope nothing does go wrong for you, chances are it won't!

Oops "did GO wrong" not "did you wrong".