Did your midwife discuss your birthplan with you??

[JamieJay]

34 week appointment today, all okay, told to come back at 36 weeks.

Asked midwife if we'd discuss where I'd give birth at that appointment. Told no, the ante-natal class at the hospital (at 37 weeks) would give me all the information I needed and to just fill in the form at the end of my notes stating what I wanted.

She did say that they would arrange a home visit after my 38 week check up to discuss my birth plan but it was very much implied that the discussion wasn't necessary and was just if I wanted.

She finished by saying not to worry as first babies very rarely come before 38 weeks so need to decide before then!

Just struck me as odd that there's no discussion specific to me. The class is for 12 - 15 couples and seems to be a series of talks so not sure how that can help with potential issues personal to me.

How did your midwife handle your birthplan??

Discussed with mw both times, by about 36 weeks I think... First time I had a fairly lenghty birth plan which I wrote out on the form in my mat notes, was planning home birth so had plenty I wanted to discuss.

Second time, mw did home visit at 36 weeks and we chatted briefly about birth plan and mw made notes in my book (also home birth)

Thanks Cowgirl - nice to know I'm not expecting too much. The possibility of even considering a home birth didn't seem to occur to her though!

You're not alone - my midwife only discussed mine with me after I asked several times, and finally at 38 weeks we looked at it. she didn't really have much constructive comment to make on it - she clearly thinks birth plans are a waste of time and that saying ideally you don't want an epidural is a nonsense. I see that many (most?!) births don't go according to plan and that many women change their minds about epidurals, but that doesn't mean it isn't a worthwhile exercise I don't think.

TBH, if we hadn't gone to our NCT classes, I wouldn't have had a clue.

My MW said we'd discuss the birth plan at our next appointment - which will be towards the end of week 34. I also have an appointment with my doula on the following week at which we'll be discussing the birth plan, so that sounds like the two of them are being consistent, even though they don't know it!

The daft thing is I haven't got a lot of set ideas about my birth plan as I know quite a few people who have deviated from theirs - I just assumed that we'd at least discuss where I'd give birth if not how.

I presently don't even know if I'd be allowed to go to the midwife led unit or just the main hospital ward!

I'm only 14 weeks but have let my midwife know that I have a lot of questions about birth location to go through at my 16 week appointment and she was fine about that.

By your stage, you need to be happy where you want to aim to give birth. That's not the same as having a birth plan though (which tends to be more specific, e.g. do you want an epidural?).

DH not happy eitehr. Think I'll pull something together before my 36 week appointment (don't really think I'll get anything from the ante-natal class that I can't read on MN) and then make her go through my questions at that appointment.

DC1 was born in Croydon and I never made a birth plan . We moved house and for dc2 the mw made a home visit to discuss birthplan with me and DH. This time I'm planning a homebirth so we havn't made a birth plan in the same way but it does say vitK for baby and syntocin 3rd stage. Which leaves me wondering who made the decision about these things when I had dc1, I certainly don't remember beibg asked. Although births may not go according to plan there are a few 'bottom line' things that need writing down. And if you're intending having an epidural yyou need to be giving birth somewhere that offers them. I'd write something down , hand it to the mw and ask her to comment on it.

Birth plan? Ha! I have seen a different MW every week, none of them read my notes, the idea of them even raising a plan is laughable. They can't wait to test my urine and shoo me out the door!

Excuse me moaning but am fed up with the poor AN care I feel I have been on the receiving end of recently.

I also need to know if going to MW led unit or hospital too actually. Given that no one has raised the issue I guess I will have to.

my DD1 was born at 36 weeks, and the hospital wouldn't even talk to me about if I should have a vbac or elective with dd2 until after that!

(I had a complicated section first time, so an elective turned out to be vital, but it was only me reading up on it that told me that!)

My MW was great. Did birth plan during a home visit, talked it through - was realistic about the likelihood etc (I didn't have many set ideas though)
MW care in the area I live is great - they are severely overworked, but still offer home births, home visits etc.

JamieJay - I really don't think it's unreasonable for you to want to know about MLU/hospital as that's a pretty crucial point!

Having read up on MN at the time, I made sure that I used language like 'I would prefer...' as birth plan is def not a rigid document.

I think I will make the point that I am unhappy on my next visit.

I really wouldn't mind the lack of consistency in personnel if they even bothered to read my notes. They don't plot the fundal measurement either - wtf not? Surely the chart is there for a reason.

I have also had conflicting information at least twice.

I think because I have so much time informing myself about stuff (on here and elsewhere) I am a bit resigned to the crapness of it all but really I should make the point.

My MW has been very interested in my birth plan - and where I wanted to give birth (first thing she asked as if I wanted a different hospital it would have meant going somewhere else to see the midwife as they are area led!) Strange but last baby I discussed with my Dr too so seems very lax as I am sure you will want to at least know where you want to have your baby but I know that decision is up to you and NOT your midwife. HTH and goodluck!

My MW is not the most approachable woman, unfortunately. Thankfully at my last two visits she hasn't been there for various reasons and the replacement MW has been lovely.

My ante-natal classes are booked in within 10 days of baby being due and after 20 week scan I don't have a hospital appt until the day before I'm due! I do see the midwife every few weeks but as I said, she's not very approachable, and she just more or less scrawls something in my notes and that's that. I know I'm only 31 weeks now but I really don't think she's going to be all that bothered about discussing a birth plan with me. Luckily although she's the midwife based in my GP she works out of a different hospital than the one I'm going to and the various MWs I've met even briefly at the hospital all seem a lot nicer so I'm fairly confident they'll be happy to go through my birth plan whenever I show up to have the baby, although, granted, I might not be very rational at that point!!

Think it's just luck of the draw in a lot of cases but I'm trying not to let it stress me out. Thank god for the antenatal hypnotherapy CDs

Didn't you have to say what your preference on birthing location was early on? We had to say at our booking in appointment! Okay, we can change our minds at any point up until 36 weeks (if we want a home birth - can opt to go to hospital at any point!), but we were expected to have thought about it before and at the booking in.

The first MW we saw wasn't very helpful, but luckily we'd done our own research. It's pretty usual in the NHS with anything IME that if you don't ask, you won't get given all the info and you may well ahve to do a lot of research yourself anyway.

It's quite sad that people are getting such a mixed experience in their ante-natal care.

I was asked at booking in (with midwife a) about birth location and indicated that I was interested in at least considering a home birth.

At my 25 week check up, midwife b asked if I still wanted to consider a home birth and I said yes if appropriate and got the reply that we'd come back to the discussion at the relevant time (I was happy with her response).

Then had yesterday's saga with midwife c who didn't seemed at all concerned about having a discussion and I was left wondering if maybe I was be a little premature in my desire to discuss it and decide!

Had a long chat with DH and we're both going to the 36 week appointment and will be discussing my birthing options whether the midwife wants to or not. Especially relevant as we are both still considering asking for a homebirth (think I'll start another thread on that one later to get some advice on where to go from here!)

Definitely insist on a discussion. They would normally do the home visit (to drop off any kit they drop off for a home birth) at around 37 weeks so you need to be organised.

Also, if you want to consider a pool, you'll need to order it. And there are other bits you'll want to have for a home birth.

I havent discussed my plan with my mw at all. she asked me if i had one, i said yes. end of. Am having a hosp. birth if this is relevant. I'm not worried she's answered any questions I've had so I guess its ok ( slight panic now) ooh am in my 38th week.

Yeah, I think, tbh, the only things in a birth plan a midwife really needs to discuss with you in advance are things like a home birth or if you can't have a blood transfusion for some reason, which might make some methods of delivery more complicated, or if the baby is still breech/transverse at 36/37 weeks.

Anything else should be able to be accommodated at a hospital or a birthing centre when you arrive in labour, whether it's a water birth or an epidural or whatever. There's no point discussing your plan too early because circumstances might well change, if you develop pre-eclampsia for example or the baby is breech.

So just stay relaxed, write your plan, keep it with your hospital notes and make sure your partner has read through it and knows what you want so they can help you get whatever that is when the time comes!