what happens if I don't go to my mw appts?

[elportodelgato]

This is my second pregnancy and to be perfectly honest, I am just far too busy to take much notice of what I'm meant to be doing. For example, I ate an enormous piece of brie over the weekend without even remembering that I'm not meant to but then thinking 'well why the hell shouldn't I?!' I mean really, my mum seemed to get through it all OK without these prescriptive guidelines. I had a very straightforward pregnancy and labour with my DD and no reason to think it will be any different this time.

Anyway - I have already had one very looooong and unproductive meeting with my mw where she asked me every question she could think of, and then a few more. It took about 90 mins altogether as she was late arriving, moved at the speed of a sloth, just took bloody ages. All the time I kept mentioning how I work fulltime, have a long commute, don't have much flexibility etc. Yes, I know my employer will give me time off for these appointments but IIRC from last time, they just ask you various questions, take some urine, prod you a lot (in the later stages) and I can't see the point. So what will happen if I just stop turning up for these appointments? Will the mw police come and get me? I'm assuming that as long as I am feeling OK and getting bigger then everything is alright and I don't really need to see them. I am ludicrously low-risk and not at all stressed/

Can someone tell me either a) that yes it is OK for me to ignore the blimming mw appointments or b) explain to me why it's so important that I attend them.

While we're at it, if anyone has any really good reasons why I shouldn't be eating soft cheese and drinking a glass of wine at the weekend, I'd love to hear those too.

Can you tell that I am feeling HORMONAL today??

Listeria in the cheese could kill your baby - maybe a good enough reason to avoid it?

Well you will be pleased to know (in my area at least) that you have fewer appointements than in your first pregnancy as lonng as it still classed as low risk and no symptomms develop

I think that the minimum of appointemnts is necessary but some are not, for example if you decline a scan you dont need a appointement to discuss it

Later appointments at the end of the pregnancy are good at noticing problems in the early stages (blood pressure rising/baby appearing not to grow etc) which can greatly improve the outcome

There are practicl things you can do like schedule all appointments at the beginning of clinic so you are less likely to be seen late

lol there are far too many rules with pregnancy, don't do this, don't eat that etc and they seem to change the rules all of the time, when my Mum was pregnant she was encouraged to eat liver for the iron, now we can't eat liver because it has too much vitamin A. I can understand to a point where you are coming from but I for one am sticking to the rules, may be because It's my first pregnancy so i'm doing what I'm told as don't know any better!

As for missing midwife appointments, I went aboard for the first 4 months after finding out that I was pregnant, the midwife didn't have a problem with that and I was just told to contact her when I got back. I can't see there big a problem with missing your appointments and there is nothing the midwife can do but I would personally keep a few just so the baby can be checked out.

I'm pregnant with my second, after the booking appointment which was quite long I have to admit I have had very few appointments and they have been short at 24, 28(for antiD) and another booked at 32.

They are checking your general health as well as the baby's, plus its nice to hear your baby's heartbeat I think. Plus if anything were to go wrong would you really be able to forgive yourself for the sake of 10 minutes once a month?

At my last mw appointment for my first pregnancy, she took one look at my blood pressure and called an ambulance.
I felt perfectly fine, but was seriously ill with pre-eclampsia and had to be induced straight away.

I'd go to the appointments, I know it's a pain, I have a long commute too, but I think they are essential.

With DC2 I got irritated by the number of midwife appointments (FWIW, I have incredibly boring, textbook pregnancies), and so with DC3 I spoke to the midwife who said so long as I was happy and felt fine I could leave longer gaps between the appointments. Just ask the midwife if you need frequent appointments. If they are happy for you to have less appointments, you won't feel guilty about avoiding them.

Mind you, by dc4 they seemed to have changed policy, and you only got about 4 appointments throughout the pregnancy anyway.

This is my first pregnancy, I'm 26+3 and have seen my midwife once so far. I didn't like her at all, she was late (and I was her first app of the day living just down the road from her), she was rude, dismissive of my concerns, didn't take my blood pressure and just made it up on my notes, told me I didn't really need my notes but to hold onto them. Since then, I saw a midwife as normal at my first scan at 16+3 and saw a doctor at my second scan at 23+4. Neither the midwife nor doctor at the hospital cared that I hadn't seen my midwife so I don't see it's been that big a deal. I've had no problems but I've just moved to a new area so I will start seeing a new midwife now, especially as it's getting to the later stages.
I think in an ideal world it would be good to go to all these appointments but if you're very aware of what should and shouldn't be happening, it can't be the end of the world to miss a few, especially early on.

'My poor midwife'?? really??!

I don't know what they're like elsewhere but I had my first baby at the same place and mine are without exception late for every appointment, extremely slow when you do get in there and not actually that interested in what you have to say. The appointments are never available first thing in the morning or late in the day, they appear to only be between the hours of 11am and 1pm which tends to knock out the majority of the working day as my commute is 1hour 15mins. They always seem utterly astounded that I work fulltime, as if women are meant to just sit around being pregnant, idling away the hours until the next mw appointment. If I were overworked, I'd be much quicker! And actually, I do agree with you that they probably have other people who need their attention much more than me.

On the subject of food, I am doing the same as you Lady and kind of evaluating the risks and being vaguely sensible. I do wonder though. I mean I know it must happen but I have never heard of anyone, pregnant or otherwise, who has had listeria.

Novicemama,
My 2nd MW appointment was very quick. Dashed in, on up the table, listen to the heartbeat, on the weighing scales, BP measured, and out of the door. You may be worrying unnecessarily about how much time they will take, but things like hearing the heartbeat can be quite reassuring.

destructogirl, poor you being rushed into hospital even though you felt fine. That kind of experience that makes me think I should probably go to the appointments.

jeee maybe I should raise it with the mw next time round that I don't really need to be prodded and tested every 5 mins, I'm pretty textbook so hopefully...

saoirse86, mine is the same. I always go for the first appt of the day and STILL they are always late. If the appt was 9am and they had had trouble commuting maybe, but it's 11am usually - and they get there 10 mins late, flustered, can't find anything, takes ages for the appt to start. I don't understand it.

Thanks PixieCake, I had forgotten how nice it is to hear the heartbeat actually

You definitely need to get the urine and bp checks done if nothing else.

novicemama, my first app was scheduled for 9am, she lived about 400yds from me so she suggested meeting me at my house, but still didn't manage to get there till 10.15.
I completely understand there are stressful situations for them but this can be said for all of us. I really felt that if she couldn't even give me the respect to turn up even close to on time and listen to my questions and concerns, she was not someone I wanted to have around during my pregnancy, and certainly not during labour!

When I was pregnant with dd 5 years ago there were a couple of cases in Australia reported in the news. It is obviously very rare but is brie really worth the risk?

I had the odd glass of wine or a bit of pate, but when it's a case of only a little bit of something, like cheese or uncooked meat potentially causing a lot of damage I don't see why take the risk.

I can see why you are slightly more relaxed about foods etc - i ate runny eggs in my second pregnancy, for example, and had the odd tipple. I certaionly didn't walk around on egg shells as I did in my first pregnancy.

Also, I didn't have as many appts with my second preganncy, so it wasn't too much of a faff. Do you really have to go that often?

Fwiw - I had a very straightforward first pregnancy, so wasn't too worried about things second time around and dutifully did all the tests and appointments, thinking to myself 'I'm sure it's all fine'. However, at 34 weeks I found out at a routine mw appt that I had obstetric cholestasis - a condition that can cause stillbirth if not picked up on. I had to deliver by emergency section at 37 weeks because my liver was failing. The only symptom of this was itchiness - which is often a 'normal sign of pregnancy', as your skin stretches and gets drier. i wouldnt have known I had OC if I hadn't klept that appointment.

I really think you should 'suck it up' and keep those appointments. One of the key reason we have such a low infant mortality rate in this country is the high quality of antenatal care.

Do you have the option of having your antenatal checks with your GP? Might still be a faff for you, but there's a good chance that the appointment times would suit you more and, whilst you may have to wait if surgery is running late, a GP will certainly be quick about things.

I think something to consider is just how quickly you can go from being 'boringly textbook' to high-risk.

Honestly, in my opinion go to the appts, they are there for you and your babies benefit.

Running late for the first appointment of a clinic starting at 11? The MW almost certainly had another clinic previously that over ran.

Late for an appointment first thing in the morning? The MW may have been attending a HB the night before or been called to an emergency postnatal appointment.

Failing to listen to questions during an appointment? Bad practice.

Writing down BP readings without actually taking them? Negligent

Even so, I'd try and find a way to get to at least some appointments, especially further on in pregnancy. The prodding may be uncomfortable but it should pick up bad positioning - and you really don't want to turn up in labour to find out your DC is breech (it will be treated like an emergency) or transverse) which is an emergency...

tagamommy - did you know that meat based pate can have a high level of listeriosis bacteria? Its on the hit list along with mould ripened cheeses...

MW appointments where brought in to save lives - it has saved lives and that is why it is important.

it is your ife and your unborn childs life - it is your choice of course, but think again how distraught it could be if things go wrong

I feel your pain, i am on pg 3 and work ft - i have been to 2 mw appts so far both of which were ridiculous - she didnt listen to a word I was saying about not wanting to be classified as high risk as was unecessary (1st pg was, second was fine) - she completely ignored my feelings, patronised me and ignored what I said. I got so much grief at work about leaving early for teh appt I wish I hadn't bothered.

On the other hand, i dont actually have that many to go to this time so I think i would be tempted to go just to get the heartbeat checked and my blood pressure checked.

I am not, however, going to attend the consultant appt she scheduled for me which I don't need, don't want and told her not to bother with.

I am also eating what I like, though dont drink aat all as I think that is dodgy - they dont know what a safe limit is and tbh I dont feel like it. I would eat any cheese that came my way, am having about 10 cups of tea a day just to get through them and no I dont know anyone who has ever had listeria, pg or otherwise (isnt it only dangerous at the beginning anyway?)

Listeria is dangerous at any stage in pregnancy. If the mother is infected then the bacteria can cross the placenta and infect the baby. In early pregnancy this can result in a miscarriage. In later pregnancy it can result in a stillbirth or the birth (sometimes prematurely) of a very sick baby. The symptoms of listeria can be very similar to a tummy bug, so whilst reported cases are low the true level of infection in the UK is unknown. Mild cases are where the infection is non-invasive and restricted to the digestive tract. More serious cases occur when the bacteria invades the rest of the body. Pregnancy increases the chance of any listeria infection becoming invasive.

There's more information here.

Taking some of the numbers from that link, there are about 18 cases of listeriosis in pregnant women in England and Wales each year. About 22% of listeria infections in pregnant women will result in the death of the baby. So listeria infections will be responsible for the deaths of about 4 babies in England and Wales each year.

Yes, its a very small number and a low risk - but its a pretty bad consequence...

brie is almost certainly pasteurised in this country..and really, less of a risk than crossing the road?

anyway, i didn't go to the early appointments this time (partly because am low-risk and on a reduced schedule of appts, and parly cos i CBA) and yes all that happens - is you get closer to your due date without a record of your wee and blood pressure being ok.

I did on the other hand go in for Anti Bs for various UTIs (as i don't need telling that i have those!) ...

in the end, nothing happens if you only attend the later appointments (though i quite like hearing the heartbeat) and frankly if you want to wait until you give birth to see a MW - that's completely up to you. There are, in a minority of cases , things that'l get picked up that probably you'd want discovered..but in the majority of cases, there won't be. It is a free country.

I have a similar commute, so appts take a lot of time - no problem with entitlement, as I don't have a boss, but I do have stuff to do, so more flexibilty and promptness would be helpful!

I had my first MW appt on Saturday at 9.30am...seems a few people were booked for the same time (more than one MW). The MW then said 'right...who was here first?' which I though was a bit rich, since we were all on time, so how early anyone arrived should have been irrelevant.

However, MWs were lovely when I saw them and supportive of my plans for HB. They did seem to think I would probably be on maternity leave by October or November - I'm not due until the beginning of February!...what planet are they on? And I think they miscalcualted how far along I am (as did GP), but I am thinking that will work in my favour as my mum was 12 days overdue with me and with my brother...I don't want to be induced so I am not arguing the toss on that one!