8 weeks pregnant today and can't show I'm happy

[Rockerbaby]

I just wanted to see if there's anyone else out there that feels the same. I'm really happy to have fallen pregnant. I am with a man - my husband who I love very dearly - and we planned to have our child.

We made the decision to not share our news with anyone until we got to 12 weeks, namely because a number of our friends who had fallen pregnant recently have been unfortunate enough to suffer from miscarriages. However, despite having told a few people - although not everyone - I don't know if this decision is preventing me from showing how I really feel about being pregnant. It feels like by saying we're not going to acknowledge the pregnancy until we're 12 weeks means that we're not really pregnant, so even when I have told people or been put in the very difficult situation where I've been force to tell them, (for more detail see link)wp.me/pXKsd-n I haven't felt able to show how happy I am to have been blessed with such this miracle. Has anyone else felt like this? Is it my hormones and will it pass when we go public proper??

Don't worry about it Rocker - I don;t think I really connected with the fact I was pregnant with DD1 till I could see a bump and then feel her move. Up till then it was sort of an abstract concept, that I knew I should be excited about rather than actually was. (We also didn't tell anyone until after 12 weeks)

And I also thought 'Oh shit what have I done?' quite a bit

You can always come on here and be excited about it!

Or start a blog and make it private - then lift the privacy settings later or invite friends and family to read it once you've announced. Then they can belatedly catch up with your early excited stages!

Congratulations to you and your man on your pregnancy

I have started writing a blog and posting on here definitely helps get the feelings out. It surprises me how much is whirring around in my brain at the moment. But I don't think I could come on here and start writing about how excited I am because that's not how I'm feeling and that's what's weirding me out! I am happy, but I don't feel happy...I don't know if that makes sense.

Thanks Poledra lets hope a bump helps...I'm flat as a pancake at the moment I want a bump!

Rocker I absolutely understand how you feel. Am feeling exactly the same. I am coming up on 8 weeks with #1 and due to a mc scare a week ago have had a scan which showed a definite heart beat but it still doesn't feel really real . I don't feel the rush of excitement I thought I would especially after being told this time last year I'd struggle to conceive naturally. Don't get me wrong I am so happy but I think until I see more on a scan or have a touchable bump, as poledra said, it feels quite abstract and surreal. I want to test all the time to make sure its true! Stupid I know........
Have told very few people either because I am a diabetic and didn't want to tempt fate and my fella is being quite sensible and calm (2nd time dad) so I've no one to get all giggly and girly with about being pg. Thats why mumsnet has been great cos you can talk to people who understand and can share your (secret) joys.
Keep in touch xx

Oh MissCKitty your post made me well up...Not that that's taking a lot at the moment . All I can say is I'm there too and when I hear it coming from someone else I want to say you're not being stupid, don't be stupid and just give you a big hug.

Great news about the scan results, but also realize that having the scare in the first place isn't going to help with relieving the anxiety fears at all...Although, as I am hoping for myself time and changing body share are going to make a huge difference.

I'll make sure I keep popping back would love to know how you're doing will also be keeping my diary up to date - I found it's also a really good release for all of the feelings I've been having. Take care lovely. xx

With my first pregnancy I spent most of the time trying to ignore it in case something went wrong. I was trying to convince myself that if I didn't get excited, when something went wrong I would be able to say 'well of course I always thought that would happen'. In hindsight I would have clearly been devastated and my attempt at self preservation would not have worked. I always considered the baby as an animation inside me as I couldn't picture it any other way and I was a bit freaked out about having a living thing inside me. So now I sound like a nut job I can say that I have gotten better with my approach! This is my third and I am still slightly on the can't be fully happy. For me, pregnancy is a time I feel generally anxious, vulnerable and unsure. Motherhood on the other hand is truely mind blowing

I'm 11 weeks now and I keep saying "if I have the baby" not because I have ever intended to have a termination but because until I've been for a scan I don't seem to be able to let myself believe that in January I'm going to be a very proud mum for the first time!

Hi lovely ladies, Got a scan tomorrow. Am soooo nervous but the excitement is sneaking in a little bit . Hoping all is well but will keep you posted. Hope you are feeling ok today rocker