too many pregnancy rules?

[snowtinker]

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/10318039.stm

Sorry to go off-topic, but just to answer ECOW there weren't any spaces left on the couples antenatal course so I went to a womans only one on my own. Most of the women I spoke to there, said they had wanted couples courses too. Makes you wonder why they didn't just run one as the demand was there.
You'd hope you weren't in the minority having a partner!
Mind you, at my booking appointment, which my DH came to with me, my MW asked "Do either of you work?" WTF???? She then went on to give us leaflets about benefits even though we said we both work FT and know we don't qualify.

Sorry for hijack

That's what I did Funkycherry, although I only got to go to one class, as I was 34+ weeks and it was the last one, by the time the next ones came around I couldn't drive!

I deliberately didnt read 'rules' or manuals when I was pregnant. In fact im horrified now that I am on MN as I was clearly poisoning my unborn child with all the rules I broke... Must be why shes got 3 eyes, green hair, behavioural problems and walks round in circles...

Joke: shes perfect

sorry - previous post a bit off topic - i mean the icon on wine bottles...

I'm not too bothered by the food rules as am veggie and eat very little dairy anyway (or is that another 'crime"?)

however, getting sick of people telling me what i can and can't do - I have an active job that involves gardening and other physical stuff and have been 'told off' 3 times today by the same woman - How to say 'yes I know it's my first pregnancy and you have 2 kids, but i trust my instinct and wouldn't do anything I thought would harm my baby" (actually i could say it like that). I have also had complete strangers tell me i shouldn't be gardening - (shit, I'll just give up my job then)

How does anyone with their (I know) well meaning advice think the human race got to 6 billion ?

Rant over
xL

Leviathan - you're working with triffids? Seriously, you can't garden? Why? Is there likely to be an attack by a rowdy group of tulips?

Without wishing to making sweeping generalisations - I have mostly been patronised by unmarries, single men (some gay) - and neurotic women with mental health problems.

Agree PinkElephant73, and Cosmosis - the NHS advice as currently phrased sounds wobbly and contradictory. And that's what makes it easy for people to dismiss, as well as for people to pick out the statements they want to hear. (And on that note, does it strike anyone else that the advice 'You should not get drunk' is massively unhelpful and vague?)

If two FAQs from pregnant women are: - 'Is it safe to drink during pregnancy?' and 'How much can I safely drink during pregnancy?' - then that paragraph isn't really a great answer.

(And Japhrimel, it doesn't actually say that 1-2 units a week are safe - that's kind of the problem, things would be a lot easier if it did!)

HCP can't keep up with the recommendations anyway and some of the leaflets that are given out are out of date. No one has mentioned vitamin D to me, but the latest guidance is to take a 10mg supplement every day. Given that most of my pregnancy so far has been through winter I would have thought that this should have been mentioned by the MW when she took me tortuously through the don't eat list (surely if you're preganant and know you will have read this already). I could also have done without my MW's opinion that "the guidance states you can have 4 tins of tuna a week, but I think 2 is enough really" - that's it, make up the guidance yourself, why not?

My approach is based on the "can't count" method. I don't really drink, but otherwise if you have to count it, then I can't be arsed (tea, oily fish). There is no way I would turn down a cup of tea made for me just because I had already had 2 that day.

Hey skihorse - you would think it was an extreme sport wouldn't you?

When I asked the woman today why she said I shouldn't be painting - she said fumes - as if I would have even considered doing it if there were any fumes (it was emulsion and strong smells make me puke!)

I have a friend who lives in France on her last pregnancy they asked her if she drank alcohol, she admitted she drank the odd glass of red wine. They said no do you drink any alcohol as they don't consider red wine as a real alcoholic drink.
The advice is there to make you aware of the risks but really it is common sense and everyone is different.
Certain precautions like wearing gloves when cleaning cat litter trays and cooking food thoroughly are fair enough. I'm pretty sure most supermarket pates and cheeses will be fine but in my opinion I am just weighing up the pros and cons and unless I am craving something will avoid it if it is on the non safe list. That is me being over cautious my MIL eat nothing but cheese and pate and drank red wine when she was pregnant with my DH as they spent the summer in france, my mum drank all the way through her pregnancy with me she just didn't get comepletely wasted.It just wasn't an issue back then.

It annoys me when people pick and choosed the ones they like such as my step sister decided the stress of giving up smoking would be worse than smoking and nearly went into labour at 30 weeks, luckily her son was ok and many are but really if something is bad for you then don't expose a child to it.

No, funky, In fact I read it that you were in agreement that the approach of avoiding any imagined risk was emotive and manipulative

As it happens, something has gone wrong for me in my two previous pregnancies, both of which ended is miscarriage. I don't for a moment think I have got anything to 'forgive' myself for, and I certainly don't think my losses were due to having more than one glass of wine in a given week.

I think that part of the issue is that, once women have given birth, people are content for them to make choices about how to protect themselves and their children, but when in utero, people feel happy to say things like 'you will never forgive yourself' ...whereas they might not approach a parent in a supermarket and say 'you shouldn't feed your kids shit food...you'll never forgive yourself if they due of heart disease at forty' or don't drive a car, you will never forgive yourself if you run a child over (known risk).

As you say, it plays on our insecurities, and I know I've got enough to worry about as it is!

I have to say the most cross I have been about 'advice' in pregnancy was from the obligatory occupational health assessment.

Her: Fill in this form, tick the risks that apply to you.
Me: I filled in all the bits I can answer.
Her: Oh, you work nights? And drive? And use a computer screen?
Me: Yes. So?
Her: You shouldn't be working nights, it is a risk to you and patients to be running round the hospital at night. And you should limit your time at a computer screen.
Me: ? THOSE are the aspects of my job you are most worried about? What about exposure to ionizing radiation? Lifting and moving patients? Exposure to HIV/HepC/TB/any other infectious disease you care to mention?
Her: Oh, but you will have stopped doing those aspects of your work when you found out you were pregnant.
Me: What? You are kidding? How can I stop having access to patients you crazy woman? I would have to stay at home!
Her: I'll make the recommendations to your manager. You need to come off the rota for nights and have acess to a fan in hot weather.
Me ??????????????????????? What about your legal requirement to monitor and minimize my exposure to ionizing radiation?
Her: I don't know anything about that. Take it up with medical physics.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAgh

I shall go and eat bagged salad and tuna/brie sandwiches next to my fan.

Sorry for very long rant

It's not just the alocohol it's and the food, it's all the other thing's you have to think about too. I went into a jacuzzi a couple of weeks ago and the guilt and fear I felt for putting my baby at risk by not remembering all of the countless rules and regulations is just crazy. We all won't to do right by our unborn babies, but if I continue to worry about everything as I am doing I will have driven myself mad by the time I get to 9 months.

babiesbirthsandnewbeginnings.wordpress.com/2010/06/18/week-6-stressed-out/

Antidote don't worry about the rant - I so know what you mean!!! xx

Thanks chocho - I'm just off to add 'paranoia' to the list of things I'm suffering with

Does anyone know why we're not supposed to work nights? As long as you're still getting enough sleep and your work area is well lit, I don't see how it could be a problem.

I also don't understand why vegetarian pate has a listeria warning, even if it doesn't contain raw egg or unprocessed cheese?

Feeling a bit more level headed now. I keep forgetting that I am harbouring carrying my husbands genes around with me and if feeding doesn't occur at very regular intervals there are outbreaks of extreme bad temper and complete loss of sense of humour.

I have no idea about the working at night rule. I had assumed it was some weird NHS nonsense. My work is never well lit (needs to be dark to see the computer screens properly) so it makes no difference day or night. There might be issues with tiredness but they are the same for everyone working 24hr shifts.

I put it down to paranoia about being sued.

Sal321 my MW made up a rule as well! I can't remember which one but when she was giving me all the leaftlets etc at my booking in she was going through the food advice and said " oh it says here you can eat X but I always advise not to"