Not sure how to feel?

[Pebblestone]

Hi there,

I have just joined today so I hope I am using the correct thread.

I am 28 and married to a 43 year old. We were told last Oct that we should start trying for children if we wanted them as I had a largish fibroid. The Dr said that I was unlikely to become pregnant naturally and that after trying for a year we would be refered to a specialist. I came off the pill imediately and it seemed like all I was interested in for the first few months was babies. Since then I have relaxed and found some hope in the fact that my little sister was pregnant after 3 years of trying.

Yesterday my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Last night I realised I was late, about 10 tests later (all were possitive) I have accepted the fact.

I should feel really happy but I had started to tell myself that babies weren't everything and now I have just taken a promotion at work to start a really good job next month. I am in the Army and so is my husband (he is away until Sat) so I can't tell him. I have spoken to my mum and she is really excited.

I think the main problem is that I don't know how to feel. I feel like I have let myself down as I am professional at work and I wonder what peopel will think of me. One part of me wants to shout it from the rooftops and tell eevryone and the other part of me thinks of all the issues it may cause.

I know this all sounds a bit wierd but I just want to check if this is normal? I have felt sick all day but I think that is prob due to the shock more than anything. I can't concentrate and everything keeps going round in my head. I wish my husband was back so that I had soemone to talk it through with who would understand.

Please help x

What you're feeling is completely normal. Finding out that you are pregnant is a big life changer, it takes a lot of time to adapt and get used to it... I'm not quite there yet and my oldest is six

From your posting it sounds to me that deep down you're overjoyed but you're worried about letting other people down and what others will think. Remember that you and your husband (and your baby) come first! The people you are worrying about may not even be part of your life in 10 years time. I'm sure things will seem much better when your husband is with you to share the experience. xx

Sorry didn't want you to think you'd been ignored. It does all sound normal to me. I found out I was pregnant the day I was having my 'end of probation' interview in a new job. We HAD been trying but, like you, had expected it to take some time.
I'm sure your boss will understand (actually, they pretty much have to or face discrimination accusations). This weekend is Father's Day. I think you telling your DH would be a lovely gift for him.

Pebblestone don't worry you're not crazy. Come and join us on the February thread and chat to all the lovely ladies there! They will help reassure you! xxx

Feb

If you're not expecting it, it's always a shock. I always think it's kinda good to realise that having a baby is a major thing - I think quite a few people of all ages decide to have a baby with no thought about what it'll mean to their lives!

But having a baby doesn't mean you have to give up your career - and certainly not right now, even if you later decide to change things to spend more time with the baby. There's no reason to not go for jobs and promotions when you're TTC, especially when it can take a long time. If you decide to return to work after the baby is born (assuming everything goes okay), then having had the promotion already will be great for your career.

I think you'll feel better when your OH is home and you've got someone to share the amazing but terrifying news with. Congrats and best of luck.

Congratulations!

Completely normal I think! It took me a year to have a successful pregnancy - when I realised that yes, I really was pregnant I went in to total panic - despite it having been the only thing I'd wanted for the 12 months previous.

I'm 35 weeks now and loving it!

You're still a professional woman - you've just got someone lodging in your uterus!

I think that mixed feelings are normal. You decide to start trying because it might takes forever but you keep making plans as normal as you can't work your life around the possibility that you MIGHT be pregnant at some point in the future - and then you get pregnant and suddenly it's real! And you can't necessarily do those things that you were planning on doing and even though you are really delighted about the baby, part of you still feels a bit I think that at your stage, what you might "lose out" on seems a lot more real than the baby - the baby will probably only start to seem real after the 12 week scan. As I got further along in the pregnancy I didn't care what people thought about me, only about the baby! And it's rubbish to think that you have been unprofessional, you can't put your career on hold because you are hoping to get pregnant.

Also, sickness and being unable to concentrate are part of early pregnancy, my hormones were all over the place and I didn't feel like "me" any more.

I'm sure once you get over the shock and can talk to your husband you will feel better. Any issues can be resolved.

Congratulations!

I'm sure once you get

Thankyou for all of these lovely messages. The comment saying
"From your posting it sounds to me that deep down you're overjoyed but you're worried about letting other people down and what others will think"
is totally right, I think I just needed someone else to say it to me. I have just arranged to go and see my Mum tonight and I will tell my husband about it as a Fathers Day gift. I know he will be overjoyed. I am going to join the Feb group and keep you all posted about how I am going. I know it is early days so fingers crossed xxx

totally normal! i was completely freaked out. DH was all calm and happy and i wanted to smack him. i was like, dont you understand, its going to be a BABY!!!!!!!!!!

lol, i did calm down after a bit and i was totaly on board after a week or so.

congrats and good luck