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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

how do you break the news to your partner?

23 replies

runningbunny · 13/06/2010 21:04

Eek! hello peeps, first post here, am trying to cope with all the terminology (ttc? af?) but i hope you'll humour me

did a clear blue test today and got a positive. still in shock and a bit of denial - was a week overdue even though am usually regular, but still it didn't click until this morning. just been really tired and weepy with achey boobs and mild cramps, just thought i was pre-menstrual...

problem is i don't know how to break it to my partner! we've been together 10 years and the subject of babies was always something we talked of vaguely as in the future sometime (but nothing ever definite).

feel like a daft mare (especially when reading about how many people are trying to conceive). this is definitely unplanned, but we have been less than thorough with our contraception recently.

was wondering if anyone has any useful tips for giving the news to your significant other??? my other half is very reserved and quiet, takes a lot for him to share his feelings and i don't know how he'll react. he is very much IT-focused and does not - repeat does not - like shrieking children in the street! LOL!!! guess am going to find out sooner rather than later...

OP posts:

MacMomo · 13/06/2010 21:08

I did the test whilst DH was still asleep. I left the positive test by the bed where he would see it when he got up, so that he could have a moment to himself before coming down to see me. As it was, he walked right past it...

berrycravings · 13/06/2010 21:10

Many congratulations runningbunny. There's a tab which explains the acronyms near the top of the page. Very useful!

My DH and I had just started talking about TTC (trying to conceive) and before we had the chance I was already pregnant (had come of the PILL and thought would take a long time). I thought was pregnant before did test, but kept it to myself and then once I tested I ran into bedroom (early morning) and told my DH and tried to show him test. He was half asleep and no idea what was going on!!

Luckily after a cup of tea and the news sunk in (and I told him yes it was definately positive) he was really excited, so much more than I thought he would be. I would suggest telling him as soon as possible so not to build it up, at a nice quiet moment when you have lots of time to talk about it. Just dont worry if he's not excited straight away, some men take a while for this kind of news to sink in
Good luck and let us know how it goes.

soremummy · 13/06/2010 21:21

He will be fine. Just imagine me breaking news to my dh we had a 16, 14, and 12 yr old and I had just got a job after being at home for yrs I was devasted he was over the moon. 3 yrs on I'm still devasted and she Is totally the apple of his eye To the extent that she still in our bed cos........ He likes to know where she us at night. That was a total no no with our other children. Oh btw I was 40 when I landed the news on him. I wish u happiness with ur new little one

storminabuttercup · 13/06/2010 21:24

We were also a little shocked, I had come off the pill as I had had mc whilst being on the pill, but to this day have no idea how I conceived this time. Thought we'd been careful. We had also talked about babies in the future.
I told my oh I was late, but was convinced it was because I was ill, sickness (go figure) and said lets do a test to be sure. Test done and I cried, but realised it was joy, shouted my dp who looked at the stick, read the leaflet to see what those lil lines mean and I guess I let him find it out himself.
Maybe we weren't planning but after a few days of saying 'i'm happy but can't believe it' he got used to the idea.
Be prepared tho, my dp didn't get all excited like I did until after my scan when he saw the baby.
Now he sits for hours with his hand on my bump.
Remember this is something happening to you both, you didn't do it without his help. Agree to tell him asap, you need support.x

Funkycherry · 13/06/2010 23:57

I have an IT geek OH (other half) too. Our LO (little one) was planned but he still went quiet on me for two days! Think he played more playstation than ever in those two days too. He now says he was over the moon, just didn't know how he was 'supposed' to react.
When we went for the first scan, he said to me in the car park afterwards "just as well it was dark in there, I was nearly in tears when I saw the heartbeat." That was the first bit of emotion he showed.

I'm just saying, even if his first reaction isn't great, doesn't mean he's not happy about it.

If you've been 'less than thorough' with your contraception recently it probably means you're both ready anyway - after all, you've been together 10 years and managed not to get pregnant up until now.

Congratulations - let us know how you get on.

IMoveTheStars · 13/06/2010 23:59

congrats

pee on another stick and show it to him

If he's anything like my DP he'll roll over, go back to sleep, then wake up 3 hours later in a total mad panic. arf.

Original poster

runningbunny · 14/06/2010 04:30

thanks everyone for all your support, am so overwhelmed woke at 4am resolved to get a digital tester kit so at least it can be spelled out to my OH in a way that might compute ;) eekkkkk!!!

OP posts:

springaporesling · 14/06/2010 05:57

Running conratulations!

I found out I was pg before Christmas and wrapped up the digital test result in Christmas wrapping paper waited till DH got home from work and told him I'd got him an early Christmas present. Despite the word "pregnant" being displayed quite clearly on the screen he still asked if it was positive . Then again he's an accountant not an IT geek so maybe numbers would have been better

ben5 · 14/06/2010 06:00

ds1 was unplanned. i found out while he was at sea. when i got to speak to him for the first time in weeks he wanted to know why i was so quite . he thought something had happened to his car!! i then told him i was expecting ds! when i got to speak to him the next day he was really happy and had a list of boys names he liked! ( we didn't even know what we were having! so lucky it was a boy!) we now have 2 ds and the boys love him and he loves them!

MrsC2010 · 14/06/2010 09:07

We'd been trying for 6 months but were pretty chilled out about the whole thing, I randomly took a test on the day my period was due, I think so that I knew to keep an eye out for it or something. Nonchalantly pee'd on the stick, left it on the side of the bath while I wandered around getting my shower ready. Walked past it, glanced down...and there were two lines. Nearly died of shock. Re-tested with a First Response (previous was an internet cheapie) and got another positive. Got in shower, still very much in shock. Despite being very much wanted, I still felt numb! Made DH a cup of tea (he was still in bed) and then handed him the (cleaned and dried!) stick with his cuppa. He had to ask what it meant a few times as he came too!

I think he was then more 'instantly' excited than I was, I was still coming to terms with the massive changes that were going to happen etc.

I hear so many stories of people who come up with amazingly inventive ways to tell their other halves...mine was very dull!

Congrats and good luck on the news breaking!

IPredictADiet · 14/06/2010 09:16

this PG was a surprise (medical miracle)...

"DH, I'm not sure we'll be able to afford to furbish the bathroom this year after all. On upside, I'm available to drive you home from the pub for the next 9 months."

He was ok once he'd got over not having a power shower.

Kittykatzen · 14/06/2010 09:29

I had always imagined telling my husband the news of our first pregnancy in an original or emotional way. Somewhat ruined it by doing a cheapo test in a moment of boredom one night, not looking at it properly, then finding it positive a couple of days later and running down the stairs shrieking at him and sending him out to Sainsburys to buy more tests. Not exactly how I planned the moment...

AmeliaEarhart · 14/06/2010 13:13

runningbunny - if you get a digital test with a conception indicator, just make sure you explain to him what the numbers mean! My DH panicked when I showed him my positive test because he thought the "2-3" meant "twins or triplets"

nunnie · 14/06/2010 13:23

With my 1st we had tried for over 4 years and it was him that noticed when we were out that I had a Mocha (sp?) and couldn't drink it as the coffee was too strong, which he thought was odd. So he told me test the next morning (I was late but hadn't noticed, after 4+ years I had given up hope to be honest), he went to work as it was monday and I just rang him, crying like an idiot.

This time took over 2 years and he went off to work again, and was coming home early to take a sperm specimen to hospital as we were undergoing fertility tests, and they needed a fresh sample within 30 minutes and before 3.30pm, so he had the pot in the car and was going to do the necessary in the hospital loo (such a romantic setting ), and for some reason I tested my AF was only 1 day late which wasn't uncommon for me, but I tested and it was postive. So I rung to tell him there was no need to use the pot.

2nd time I would have told him when he got home if it wasn't for the hospital toilet affair.

nunnie · 14/06/2010 13:24

Congratualtions by the way

Pootles2010 · 14/06/2010 13:28

I did the test whilst dp (dear partner) was still asleep, on a weekday morning - we were ttc, but it was only second month. I just walked in and blurted it out - poor man was half asleep! Needless to say we were rather late to work that day

Havingkittens · 14/06/2010 13:53

We had just started trying again after a miscarriage in February so I knew it was going to be very welcome news.

I did an internet cheapie and got a really feint line. The next day was our anniversary but unfortunately I knew I wouldn't see my other half all day as I had to leave for work at 6am and got back very late so the day before, I bought a digital test and then enclosed the stick reading "pregnant" inside his anniversary card and left it on his bedside table.

I got a text at about 8.30 saying "You're amazing xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

That was a good anniversary present (fingers crossed it sticks!)

sazziej · 14/06/2010 14:39

Congratulations.

I found out I was expecting our first on New Years eve..... I went out and bought a copy of 'I'm Pregnant' magazine , wrapped it and gave it to DH about an hour before our friends arrived.... we both sat there all night with silly grins, our friends thought we were drunk!

Lavitabella · 14/06/2010 14:51

Congratulations

My pregnancy was planned but I waited to do the test 5 days and found out for sure on my 30th birthday! My partner was very quiet for about 2 hours and you should of seen his face when he found out it was twins at the first scan!

MrsGangly · 14/06/2010 15:51

We were TTC, but I didn't tell him I was doing a pregnancy test. It was the day I was expecting my period but I just felt different, so I did a test, just to make sure really.

I then walked downstairs and said, "Darling, there's something I think I need to tell you."

Now, to give you some background, we are both Christians and had kept sex for marriage. He'd been brought up in a Christian home and had been told from an early age to keep sex for marriage, so his first reaction, in his head, was, "Oh no, I've got a girl pregnant. I am in SO much trouble!"

mummytosquidgies · 14/06/2010 21:17

Congratulations!

With DS, he was in the kitchen cooking dinner, I went to the loo and took a test, it came out positive really quickly and I just walked in to the kitchen and said (in shock I think) "oh my God it's positive.

I have PCOS and so we were expecting it to take a while, this was our 3rd month!

With this one, we'd been trying for 2 years. He knew my period was due, and were just about to do the weekly shop when I brought down a test and got him tilting it in the light to see the (very faint) line. Neither of us wanted to get our hopes up, about 6 tests later and each getting stronger and stronger we admitted we could celebrate!

frasersmummy · 14/06/2010 21:32

Dh was working away mon to fri and home at the weekend when we fell pregnant the first time...

I called him on the Monday night and said my period is late, and I have symptoms so I have just done a pregnancy test.

His reply was ....and????

so I relied and I just thought i would tell you .. just tell me you had done it??? aye..thats right

second time he was at home and I had a digital one that clearly said pregnant.. put it down on the table and let him read it ... his reply??? what does that mean ???

knackered76 · 14/06/2010 21:41

First time we were away for our 4 year anniversary. I suspected, didn't tell him that, and couldn't sleep. I took the test in the middle of the night, came up positive. I got back into bed, looked at him and decided to let him have one last night of sleep before I changed his life. I then couldn't bring myself to tell him that I had done it without him. So while out for a day trip, I told him I thought I was pregnant and should buy a test. Did it in a pub toilet and told him over our lunch. I only admitted to him after 4 years that I did the test before without him .

Second time, told him I was doing it. He thought it was a waste of money as I had taken the MAP within 12 hours. Tested downstairs, brought the morning tea up and told him number 2 was on the way. His reaction, well that's got to be uncommon (referring to the MAP!).

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